Sunday night we had a late flight. It was the last Southwest flight of the evening, meaning this plane had been flying all day and had tons of chances to be late. It was over an hour late, two if you count the time we spent sitting on the runway . They said they were expecting the flight in at a certain time. Why they give incorrect times intentionally I have no idea, as their original forecast of half an hour late way not even close. Either way, the wife and I hit the air, dozing in and out of sleep. We met a very nice LV local at Midway Airport. She was dealing with Southwest delays and cancellations the whole day and was just trying to get home. We were in the A boarding group, so we saved her a seat. She thought this was purely a gesture of kindness, but alas it was not entirely; she is very small in stature and we did not feel like sitting next to someone who was going to require more than one seat, and for some reason on this flight there was an abnormal percentage. Anyway, once we hit McCarren, it wasnâ€™t really a big deal. We were there, all was forgotten. Luggage didnâ€™t take long, so we hit a cab to take us to the Flamingo. There was no cab line. I tell the cabbie Flamingo on the surfaces please and he proceeds to tell us that there is no way to get to the Flamingo on the highway, so we donâ€™t need to ask for the surface next time. What? The ride to the hotel still managed to cost five bucks more than the ride from the hotel to the airport, and we did a lot more turning. He earned himself a smaller tip. We checked into the Flamingo at 2 AM to find that they had no smoking rooms or king bed rooms in our room category. We werenâ€™t happy with this, but that being said it was two in the morning. We took our room on the 19th floor directly overlooking the Bills and the Bellagio Fountains. We loved the room so much that we didnâ€™t go down the next day to change. The Go Room was solid, and we were big fans of the bathroom. That first night we gambled for about half an hour on nothing but penny slots. I broke even (win) and the wife lost a few bucks, but we were exhausted. We slept for about 3 hours and were back up at 615, ready to party baby. We showered and prettied up, finding ourselves on the Flamingo floor by 730. Both starving, we went over to HHAGG to use our Restaurant.com certificate only to find that they do not accept the 25 dollar ones for breakfast. Oh well, it doesnâ€™t expire, so we can just use it next time. The Venetian was next. I had been reading all the coverage on their pulling of comps on this site, and I had a $25 coupon for free slot play, so I decided to play that and take out as much of their cash as possible. I turned that into a cool $16 profit and we left. Thanks for the money and the delicious drinks Venetian. Itâ€™s a shame, because we actually liked the place too. Up to the Wynn, where neither of us had played before. I stayed there in 2007 on the company dime, but I was broke and didnâ€™t play, so neither of us had players cards. We decided to play enough to get the buffet and were very glad that we did. Between the both of us, we broke even in the place and got free food. BTW, by far and away the best buffet I have ever eaten. There was a spectacular medium temp flank steak, asian pork dumplings, a very nice pulled pork and cole slaw on a slice of cornbread. Yum. And the desserts, oh the desserts. The cappuccino gellato was the heaviest coffee flavored dessert I have ever eaten. It was spectacular. After leaving uncomfortably full and still a bit sauced, we sauntered over to Encore to gamble a bit more. It was up and down the whole time, leaving about even between the two of us, maybe down fifty or so. From here we took a cab downtown. It was about two in the afternoon and we had cracked our first beers at 8 in the AM, so the wife and I may have been stumbly. We went to the cab stand, notifying the attendant that we were going downtown. He said oh, first time downtown huh. Not a question, but a statement. Now we look nice, dress nice enough, but Iâ€™m guessing they donâ€™t get a lot of folks cabbing it from Encore to downtown based on that statement. I politely said no, then he leaned in and told the cabbie to take us to the GN, then looked in the back seat and told us that weâ€™d like it there best by far. Well, GN is our least favorite downtown hotel. By far. If I wanted strip odds and strip feel Iâ€™d just play on the strip. But whatever, we tell the cabbie thatâ€™s fine and when we get downtown we just walk over to the queens. I couldnâ€™t win anything on the BJ table at the queens, so I decided to play some on the Video Poker machine next to the wife. Well, the machine tried to take my money, spit it out, took it again, somehow crumpled it up, tried to spit it out and ripped it. Damn it all. I hit the service button and there was none to be had, so I found someone, resolved the problem, and we left to the Fitz. We were not fans. The slots didnâ€™t do anything, there were no drinks, and granny was tanked. Ok, that last piece was actually hilarious. She was at least 80 years old and at least 8 sheets to the wind. Yes, when youâ€™re that old, you can be that many sheets. Four Queens had been very kind to us, alcoholically speaking that is, so still quite stumbly we headed up to the Spike. I really wanted to play there as their website looks great. The floor was basically a giant Video Poker parlor. I loved it the wife hated it. Needless to say, we did not stay for long. Down to the Freemont were it was time for most slots, again the wife won and I lost. Itâ€™s now time for my fav downtown, El Co. We ate at the Flame, she had the fillet I had the Porterhouse. Hers was great, mine was solid but not spectacular. I know a Porterhouse isnâ€™t a particularly smooth piece of meat, but it was extra chewy. It was cooked very well and seasoned nicely, so there wasnâ€™t much I could say. We used the ACG coupon paying 25 for a solid meal. As for the gaming, I love the El Co. Played Pai Gow for almost two hours and lost 20. I then won 20 on the slots, so roughly 3 hours on the property and we were pretty well up as the wife had a 300 hit on the penny slots. The cab ride back was the best ride ever. Our driver must have been related to the Busch family somehow b/c he was hugging all the turns, hammering the gas, and at one point he got up to 70 MPH on the surface roads! We were giddy drunk at this point, so Iâ€™m sure our cheering him on didnâ€™t hurt. We farted around in the Flamingo for a while, and this is where the night turned. We went to bed and an hour later I was woken up by the wife just screaming vomit at the top of her lungs. Between hurls she would yell out big guy I donâ€™t feel good. I felt bad for laughing, but not for calling her John Madden Queen of the Obvious. It wasnâ€™t a drunk puke, more of a dehydrated full stomach drinking solid all day puke. I decided to make up for my hilariously awful comments in the morning. When she doesnâ€™t feel well, she requires blue Gatorade. The nearest place that sold Gatorade of the blue variety was the 7-11 south of PH so I made the walk. At 6 in the morning. Yes I did stop at PH and play the Goldfish to the tune of a 6 dollar profit, but that killed all of 10 minutes. Plus, I needed to pay for the Gatorade somehow. As I walked back from 7-11, I remembered that not only is there an ABC in the Miracle Mile, but I also could have tried the liquor store in Carnival Court. I first went to the c-store in the Flamingo, but they had no blue, so I bought her a little bottle of grape and wandered off on my search. I got back to the room to glorious praise and thanks from the wife. I had told her I was going down to the casino, not to find her precious blue Gatorade. She was surprised and very thankful! She got ready as I hung out in the room. We spent a bit of the morning just wandering around mid strip, nothing too exciting. She was ready to eat, so we had lunch at Sbarro in Ballyâ€™s. I used to work at one in college, this one was much nicer and much more expensive. I was none too upset to hear about their impending bankruptcy. From here, we took the monorail up to Sahara, giving them a bit of play and soaking in what we hoped would be nice old school vegas treatment. It was not. The waitresses couldnâ€™t care less about customers. In about an hour, we got a total of one drink. On top of that, we tipped a few bucks each. I like to hike, both in Vegas and in different National parks. The wife still wasnâ€™t feeling well, but agreed to go for a walk. We stopped in at Circus Circus, as neither of us had ever been there. It was really cool to see the rotating platform from Fear and Loathing, but the rest of the place was an eyesore amongst an area populated exclusively with eyesores. I seriously heart low rolling, but I couldnâ€™t handle the circus, so again we were off. We didnâ€™t stop until we got to the Flamingo, and by this time both were good and worn out. We hung out in the room for a while, just recuperating. We farted around at the Flamingo for a while and had dinner in the Diamond Lounge. This was our first time in one, and we were fans. I gorged myself on chicken wings and white Russians while the wife ate all the veggies she could find. Overall, it was nice to get free food and drinks, but they really should have seriously had more than four things to eat. By the time we were ready to move again, I wanted to go the Cosmo. The wife was in no mood to walk any more, but I promised a very nice setting in which she could slot around to her hearts content. We loved it! She took money from them; I gave them money and got drunk. I really wanted to drink a cosmo in the Cosmo, so I did. I had never tasted one before and will never have one again. It tastes like the color pink, pretty to look at but tasted like flavored deodorant, floral and fruity notes. Their screwdrivers on the other hand were spectacular. Bedtime and up early as we had a flight at 4ish. We did breakfast at the cafÃ© at the Flamingo. The service was ungodly slow. I ordered the French Toast, and it was two pieces of bread. Really? We shouldâ€™ve just done the buffet, but there was a line. Two thumbs straight down. Again we just farted around mid strip. The wife decided that she was going to max bet a bunch and try to hit something big. Sure babe, weâ€™ve lost about 20% of what we came with, go for it! My last gambling action of the trip was a dollar slot at the Flamingo, where the pull on my last three bucks netted $250! My first decent win of the trip and it was at the end. I pulled a Costanza! Our shuttle ride to the airport proved to be the real last action of the trip. We sat on the shuttle bench, the shuttle pulled up, we asked if he was the public shuttle to the airport for anyone, he said he was, we got on, and thought that was that. Alas it was not. As we pulled out of the Flamingo, he asked if we or the other couple were the ones who had called for the shuttle. We said no, we were told to just wait for the next one, and he told us he was the shuttle to the airport and to hop on, so we did. He said no, he could not take us to the airport, and that we would have to turn around and go back. My response, of course, was a disappointed oh what the fuckâ€¦. He asked why I needed to talk to him like that, that he couldnâ€™t take us to the airport, then he turned the bus around. I said, now getting angry, we have a fucking flight to catch, what the hell is the problem, do your fucking job and drive the fucking shuttle! He began screaming at me in a very thick accent, but I was done. I just wanted to get back to the hotel so we could get a cab. The wife had told me to shut up, so I did. We got back to the Flamingo, I stormed out of the shuttle, went to the back door, and waited several minutes for him to get off and unlock it so we could get our bags and be on our way. Well as soon as he got to the back door, he continued his tirade, again persisting that I not use that language at him. I was ready to completely let it go but he was not, so if he wanted an argument, he was sure as shit going to get one. I told him you have one fucking job to do, and thatâ€™s to get us to the airport. You refuse to do that, therefore you are a shitty driver. His next threat was to call security. I said fucking do it then short man, Iâ€™m sure both they and your company would like to know how you conduct yourself in public. I am trying to give your company money and you are fucking refusing. You told us you were the shuttle for anyone to the airport, then you change your mind after we leave and kick us off. Fuck you, make the call you piece of shit. Some readers may remember an experience I had at the IP on our last trip, where I wasted over 1.5 hours and went to no less than 6 different people looking for a bottle of Dom Perignon I had shipped there, and with all this piss poor customer service, I did not lose my temper or raise my voice at all. I am the mildest of mild mannered, very easy going and before this incident, I donâ€™t remember the last time I even raised my voice. I am, however, 6â€™3â€ 230 lbs and in pretty good shape, so Iâ€™m sure standing 6 inches away from him, towering over him by at least 8 inches, and letâ€™s call it talking with my hands caused him to think twice about this. I grabbed our bags and we walked over to the cab line. Once we were over there, the driver kept running his mouth and staring me down. I listened to the wife (thank you voice of reason!) and didnâ€™t take the bait. We got in the cab and rode off. In retrospect, there was enough wrong in this situation to go around. My profanity was not necessary. The first what the fuck was purely instinctive and was not aggressive, more upset. That being said, when someone is in customer service and decides to go back on their words/actions, sometimes explaining why can go a long way. Raising the intensity level in the conversation and not even saying Iâ€™m sorry only served to worsen the situation. Today, I am sorry for giving him the impression that he was going to get beaten down for being a piece of crap, but I am not sorry for letting him know that he sucks at his job. At the airport, we found our flight was a little delayed, but would make it up on the flight back. I got the full body scan, and Iâ€™m sure the TSA enjoyed the view! We played a little star wars at the airport and after half an hour, I cashed out up a buck. We had the two seater exit row on Southwest, and I got a kick out of the lady behind us. She gave the flight attendant attitude for having to pay attention during the exit row presentation, then she gave the flight attendant attitude for having to verbally respond that she agreed. Having only recently gotten in to a verbal altercation with a customer service agent, I had no sympathy for this lady. She had too much to drink and, if she truly flies as much as she claimed to, should have known better than this. The manager had to come back to make sure she wasnâ€™t going to be a problem, and I didnâ€™t hear another peep out of her. In conclusion, we loved the Flamingo. I had stayed there before, and I knew the wife would love it, which she did. The view was great, and even though we are smokers, it was kind of nice staying in a non smoking room. Another love was the Wynn. Iâ€™d stayed there before, sheâ€™d never been, and we plan on focusing a lot of our play next trip there in hopes of getting comped rooms. Downtown was great as always, and I hope next time the wife doesnâ€™t puke up her lovely filet from Flame! Thanks for reading!