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Fess up, golfers

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by ken2v, Apr 19, 2016.

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  1. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

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    Since all golfers are squeaky clean and honest, this shouldn't be tough. What are some of your epic brain farts on the course?

    Perhaps my finest: Played nine holes at "bogey" golf ... with three triples. (Use your toes if you need help with that math.)
     
  2. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    Played the front nine 1 over. Finished without breaking 100.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  3. Nevyn

    Nevyn VIP Whale

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    My lowest round ever was a 76 at Pine Knot some years ago. I was a cumulative 2 over par on holes 1-16 plus 18. And 3 over par on hole 17. A short, severe dog leg right where I normally cut the corner a bit, and I tried to play ultra safe.

    I've also had a round with 5 birdies where I still didn't break 80.

    But my most common brain fart is some variation of great opportunity for birdie/eagle, and short game my way to a number worse than that. Drive it over a green, end up with bogey. Drive it on, 3 putt par.
     
  4. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

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    Wow, breeze, that is SERIOUSLY fucked up, man. lol 37-63+??? Drag.
     
  5. Snidely

    Snidely VIP Whale

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    I've lost track of the number of times I've either bladed and chunked a 40 yard approach shot after a stellar drive. That, and the number of times I've knocked approaches stiff and missed the 3 foot tap in. And the 3putts from 10 feet for bogey.
     
  6. breanna61

    breanna61 Super Moderator

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    I have one for you Ken, though not exactly what you had in mind.

    A few months after my husband and I started dating, we attended my company golf tourament. We were still on the front 9 and, my now husband, drove long and hard and into the rough; my ball....while not as far is nicely in the fairway. Hubby is driving the cart and goes in search of his ball. I am sitting in the cart, legs crossed sipping my beer when, without warning, he thinks he sees his ball, turns sharply left and throws me out of the cart. I landed hard. How to make friends and impress people.

    He does the Mom arm across frequently now and doesn't make those sudden moves. He's never lived it down. We still attend that tournament every year and there are always lots of jokes at his expense.

    All's well that ends well.....I still married him :)
     
  7. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

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    Come on, Snide, that is standard fare for all of us, Metamucil-in-Sun City profound. Think, man, dig deep. Haven't you ever gone 36-54 like many of us?
     
  8. merlin

    merlin VIP Whale

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    How about having 3 ft for birdie(which is rare) and 3 putting?
     
  9. merlin

    merlin VIP Whale

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    What i do on them tricky 30-40 yd shots from the fairway is just roll the ball up there with a 3 iron using a putting stroke, much better results than the expected chunk.
     
  10. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

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    I was in a money game once at Vintage Club. Small change for them, HUGE for me as a schlock newspaper editor. An NBA coach, the owner of a major American wine brand and family. I went out in 60. 60! We were hosed, bent-over, fucked, and generally not in a good place. I came back in 40. We ended up doing OK, you could say, though I still haven't been paid.

    Family.
     
  11. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    My EPIC brain fart on a golf course ?
    *
    Not as a golfer...........as a caddy !
    *
    In a Club Championship.....top flight.......
    My young guy is doing great.
    I was carrying his bag -- and another guy's bag ( 2nd guy, losing ).
    The 2nd guy is beat at the 14 the hole - they send a cart for him - he's gonna ride into the clubhouse.
    In my excitement, of now, only having to carry one bag the rest of the day --- in 90 degree heat + humid -
    I did the BIGGEST F....'UP I possibly could.
    I pack up the losing guy's bag......and he drives off.
    *
    We tee off next hole and are now beginning to putt the green.
    I reach for his putter, in his bag.
    IT AIN'T THERE !
    IT'S IN THE OTHER GUY'S BAG !
    GONE !
    **** The worst blunder I've ever done on a golf course !******
    My guy had a side hill, 4 ft putt ---- no gimme !
    I'm looking in the other caddy's bags hoping the putter is in there ? ...of course, not !
    Meanwhile, my guy grabs his 3 iron and stands over his putt.
    I turn and see this.
    I stop him immediately.
    "Here. don't use that......use this 3 wood."
    He looks at me puzzled.......but does what I tell him.....he sinks it !....wins the hole !
    WHEW !.............but I blew it !
    I had sent somebody in ( on a cart, to retrieve the putter ) - they got it by next tee box.
    *
    Now THAT !........is an EPIC BRAIN FART !
     
  12. bobby jones

    bobby jones Low-Roller

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    First time I played with three pros at my home course. At the time I hadn't broken 90 and was a bit nervous to say the least. went out in 38 and was thinking not only am I going to break 90, I could even break 80....long story short, doubled 8 of 9 coming in - didn't break 90.

    The round did make me mad and gave me confidence at the same time knowing I could almost keep up with the big boys...or at least no embarrass myself. My game did improve to the point where I got consistently in the low eighties the rest of the summer and almost made it down single digits. Unfortunately a busy life has kept me away from the course too much the last few yearas and the elusive single digit will probably never happen despite the odd moment of glory and dreams grandeur on the course....
     
  13. Nevyn

    Nevyn VIP Whale

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    My first job out of college, first year at the company tournament. Its a 4 man scramble but I am in a threesome with 2 duffers so hitting twice. There is also a pink ball game that rotates between the players hitting it. 17 is my pinkball hole. Its a short par 4, but the course doesn't really have yardages marked great.

    Since I am hitting two for the scramble, one is a lay up usually and the other a go for it. I judge that the group ahead are far enough away for the layup and hit a 4 iron. Ball comes rolling up level with them.

    They get near the green and they MUST be out of driving range, so I take out the driver and hit the pink ball. Ball goes OB into a subdivision and we hear a car horn. Never found out what happened with that one.

    Then the scramble drive. Once again I conclude they are out of range. A guy up ahead is putting his club back in his bag. And the ball goes between his face and his hand. Great drive. Not the best first impression.
     
  14. Bamalewie

    Bamalewie Tourist

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    I needed a 5 on 18 to break 80 for the first time. The hole was about 380 with water up the right side, I should have played it safe and hit a hybrid, left myself around 150 in. Instead it's bomb's away, driver into the water. I made a 6.
     
  15. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

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    I would've thought you'd just take over driving duties!!!
     
  16. breanna61

    breanna61 Super Moderator

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    Initially I did but now I make him pay lol


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
     
  17. Nevyn

    Nevyn VIP Whale

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    See, when its just guys they try to do that on purpose :)

    A couple of the hooligans I play with had this happen once ... one guy swerving and having the other fall out. To his credit, the victim did not spill his beer.
     
  18. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

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    Once at Predator Ridge a friend put the cart into a 1080 on a wet sidehill. We didn't flip, not sure how. I was getting ready to bail on the first donut. Probably a good thing I didn't. Another time I was in a cart and my bud went right off the end of a revetted tee box. That time I dove and rolled. He didn't get too beat up but his wallet did putting that cart back together. Carts + guys + beer = dumb, just flat dumb. Terri once pinned me between two carts. Luckily it was just bumper and bumper and the tow hook didn't go into my shin.

    I walk now whenever I can. Obviously.
     
  19. joespoolhall

    joespoolhall Low-Roller

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    Those who know me, realize how hard it would be to only pick one or two, but here goes.

    The first was at home playing what was a very good round for me. Putting on 12 or thirteen I brushed the ball with the toe while making practice strokes due to inattention. Ball into bunker and round went the same direction.

    The worst happened in LV. After playing Boulder City, a couple of locals invited us to play the Legacy the next day. At that time I normally shot about 100 on a good course. At the I pulled off shots like the Rev in Caddyshack and shot 41 on the front, so I'm pumped. Started the back ok until about 12 and then the tendonitis in my elbow popped up and I shot about 60 on the back! Can't tell you the exact score because I asked my buddy to NEVER tell me. Been gunshy on the back at Legacy ever since!

    Good Luck!
    Ric at Joes
     
  20. C0usineddie

    C0usineddie VIP Whale

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    Not much of a golfer so dont even have my own clubs.

    A couple buddies and i went to play midweek on the local navy base.

    Not many other out there at all. i was giving my freind a hassle for wearing his golf shoes, like you need cleats to hit a ball. not like someone will be tackling him, that sort.

    so i knock my ball into this little pond and its right there on the edge in the water. i figure if i can just get a couple inches closer i can fish it out when whoop. slipped full on in the mud into the pond.

    mudd all over my pants and shirt.

    guess i should have work spikes, lesson learned.

    so there is a little brick outhouse type thing in the middle of the course that was nearby so i figured i would go clean up best i could.

    take off my shirt and wash it in the sink, hmm, no one around. might as well drop the trousers and wash tem real quick too.

    of course just then is a great time for some guy who looks like an admiral to walk in and see me bathing in the sink basically.,

    hard to talk your way out of that so just got dressed and left.
     
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