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Dogs, opinions, kids, music ...

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by ken2v, Sep 17, 2014.

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  1. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

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    You know, no matter how special someone thinks it is taking their turd-sized rat-dog into every coffee shop and store, or how funny it is when Little Joey farts in the theater, there are any number of things, from what you douse your body in (or not) before getting on a plane to what's blaring out of your earbuds, that could mean everything in the world to you but which not a single other person remotely wants to experience.

    Then again, that is just my opinion so maybe I'm forcing my peculiarities on others.

    :rolleyes2:
     
  2. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    I don't know, I think it's funny when I fart in a theater.
     
  3. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    HEY, you kids, get off my lawn!!
     
    Christmas
    My wife's birthday
  4. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

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    Don't make me come over there and paddle you, son!
     
  5. dscvegas

    dscvegas Tourist

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    Ehh, people can be really self centered and rude sometimes.
     
  6. kitson

    kitson VIP Whale

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    yeah, and selfies to go along with it.

    however, ken, please keep posting about golf courses and clubs, wine and wineries, backyard gourmet cookouts and travel to exotic locales...and microbrews!

    seriously, we live through you.
     
  7. donfairplay

    donfairplay Low-Roller

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    http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/4601986978.html

    Originally Posted: 2014-08-03 10:02pm

    You Farted During "Boyhood" - mw4m

    There we were, just enjoying a nice quiet Saturday night at the movies. A slow mover, Linklater's "Boyhood." Some popcorn. A few sodas. Nothing really happens in the film, we found. For about 90 minutes or so we stare listlessly at the screen. It's a thinking man's film, I say. Beautifully shot. It's about life, and death and relationships and things of that nature.

    Just then, at a brief, carefully-timed cinematic pause in dialogue, an enormous fart from somewhere in the back pierces an otherwise silent movie theatre. It had the impact of a baseball bat hitting a leather couch, or George Foreman working the heavy bag. Whack. Loud, deep and masculine.The seat cushion heroically absorbed most of the blow, but not enough that each and every person in the movie theatre instantly burst into nervous laughter. The laughter continued for what felt like a good 5 minutes, until tears streamed down our faces.

    Even well after the blast, we quietly chuckled to ourselves with a 'remember the time that guy farted in the movie theatre' gleam in our eyes. And just like that, with a soft chuckle and a deep breath, we were back into the film. Things happened, people drove around Texas, relationships came and went, there was crying, there was hope. It was as if we had all forgotten about the fart that had brought us together that night.

    As the sun began to set on screen, the teenage boy, no longer a boy, transitions into an adult, before our very eyes, and looks, intently, lustfully into a young girls eyes, as if to lean in for a kiss, and braaaaaaap. Another fart from the back row, like two giant hands clapping together, and the screen goes dark, roll credits. We decided, after laughing our way out of the theatre, and all the way home, that this was the best movie that we had ever seen. I imagine the lone fartist sauntering off into the sunset. His work here done.

    If only I could say thank you, kind sir. You are truly a master of your craft.
     
  8. jamesxnj

    jamesxnj VIP Whale

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    LOL Breeze..Still go to church?
     
  9. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    "Man who fart in church.....sits in his own pew."
     
  10. C0usineddie

    C0usineddie VIP Whale

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    My personal favorite is to crop dust a row of slots.

    never ending source of laughs.
     
  11. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    Since this thread is morphing into a Fart Thread....I'll add....
    When I'm playing golf and usually, somebody let's out a "Ripper" during
    the round.
    ( I have a 2.5 yr old, son )
    I'll say out loud to the foursome :
    "In my household we say 'Diaper Change !"
    *
    I get some good chuckles on that one !
     
  12. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    I'll bet Ken never thought his thread would go this way ?
     
  13. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

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    Around here? Not surprised at all. lol Things eventually head to the LCD. It's just a question of how quickly. :thumbsup:

    It's all cool. I was really just getting a chuckle out of some of the things that people do, thinking of course everyone else wants to "enjoy" what that person is inflicting on them.
     
  14. JosieCat

    JosieCat VIP Whale

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    Well, this thread seems to have taken on a life of it's own - so I'm switching from farts to snot. I quit watching Funniest Home Videos because on a regular basis, they like to stick a kid in there with great big gobs of snot coming out of their nose. Now maybe you have to be a parent to appreciate this or find it cute/funny, but not being a parent - I just find it gross. I still remember the last episode I watched. Some little kid was in front of a birthday cake, and right before he blew out the candles he sneezed and a volume of snot I didn't even think was humanly possible came out of his nose. Disgusting. :vomit:
     
  15. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    That would be my new neighbor.....grown man.
    Friday or Sat nites.....
    He sits on his deck w/ his music going....might be someone else there.
    I'm not sure what he's drinking but....
    As the evening wears on.......so does he.......LOUDER !
    The music gets louder + I guess, he's talking into his cellphone but....
    He ends up YELLING into his cellphone.
    I said to my wife - "He doesn't need the cellphone - the person on the other end
    should just open their window."
    I actually asked the police "What should I do ?"
    ANSWER :
    "Talk to him nicely about it."
     
  16. LV_Bound

    LV_Bound VIP Whale

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    I fart in your general direction. :evillaugh
     
  17. dfalk

    dfalk VIP Whale

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    Kids are the most disgusting things in the world. I worked at a daycare a long time ago and the amount of snot is unbelieveable. Every other kid constantly had snot dripping from his nose. Some would just let it drip to their mouth for a tasty snack, others would wipe it off with their hand then go touch a table giving it a nice polish. Never hang your coat up on the wall, they'll just grab the sleeve and wipe away.

    After working there I decided never in my life will I produce one of these nasty things, 10 years later I'm still kid free!
     
  18. wormhole

    wormhole Low-Roller

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