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Do you have a will?

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by mrem3200, Sep 13, 2016.

  1. mrem3200

    mrem3200 High-Roller

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    I am (in my mid 40's) and in the process of updating my will (I did my first one 15 years ago or so and this is the second or third time I am updating it). I have been talking to my GF about it (we have been together for almost 20 years just never married) and she is freaked about the whole thing. When I show her a draft and the changes I am making she "doesn't want to think about it". She gets more and more of my assets as I have been updating it, so she is not upset about that part of it. She just thinks it is morbid. To me it is just a part of life and I want make sure things are in order.

    She doesn't have one (of course) so I don't know who will get what of her assets if something happens to her. I don't really care but would prefer to know her wishes but she wont do it.

    Thoughts from the people here on having a will?
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2016
  2. Candy Apple

    Candy Apple VIP Whale

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    I'm ten years older than you. I know it's a good idea but I don't have one either.
     
  3. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    Not yet, but my bride and I have discussed starting the process. The last thing we want is our minions fighting over the doublewide!

    RICHARD
     
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  4. 5betlight

    5betlight Tourist

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    Maybe I can give you perspective from the other side. My father suffered from stomach cancer for 3 years in which he made very clear to me and my brother how he wanted his small assets ( truck, townhouse) devided up after he passed but never bothered to do a formal will. Once that day came I had to jump though so many hopes including but not limited to running an ad in the local paper to give unknown children ( didn't have any) a chance to claim thier share.... 2 years later I'm still trying to get his mortgage in my name while paying the bill in his. He was old school man that didn't discuss money or assets. I had no idea what his bills were in till I had to start paying them! It would of been much easier on me and my brother if thier was a formal will. Have that conversation. Comfortable or not
     
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  5. Snidely

    Snidely VIP Whale

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    My wife works for a law firm so we have wills. Nothing fancy.
     
  6. Johnzimbo

    Johnzimbo Low-Roller

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    If you have assets and want a say in how they are dispersed you best have one. Both wifey and I do.
     
  7. LV2GAMBLE

    LV2GAMBLE Low-Roller

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    We had one drawn up quite a few years ago. ( we are mid 50's) It was quite simple as our neighbor was an attorney. We have a special needs adult daughter and felt the need to have a will in place to protect her in addition to the rest of our adult children. Not to worry though, as they won't inherit a fortune or anything, as I keep telling our oldest that we are gambling away her inheritance...haha.
    My MIL hadn't even drawn her up even though she talked about doing it for years, so we paid the attorney to do hers and told her it was her birthday gift....she was not too pleased with us!!! haha. This summer we also purchased burial plots and have done some shopping for headstones. The kids understand this, even though it IS morbid, but later they will be happy that they don't have to take care of those items.
     
    Always seems so far away............
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  8. ronc

    ronc High-Roller

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    I had one brought to my bedside by a paralegal my wife knows when they thought I was gravely ill. Turns out I was hugely diagnosed, but the thought of impending doom that loomed for a bit was a huge motivator in getting that thing taken care of...

    Don't wait until that point, folks!!

    I have decided on cremation...in and out for $795 or so; donate some money to a nice place for a memorial service. I don't want to lie around for years rotting...
     
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  9. leo21

    leo21 VIP Whale

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    No, but I don't have kids so I am not in a rush to make one. I need to in gear about health elections like medical power of attorney and making my organ donor wishes clear but some of the rest is kinda already taken care of with beneficiary selections. I am more concerned about getting my parents in gear. I have an idea what my mother wants but my father has been unclear on his wishes and can't handle a mature conversation about it.
     
  10. mrem3200

    mrem3200 High-Roller

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    That is my view too and its why I have one at 46 yo. Father time has not lost one yet...
     
  11. flyguyfl

    flyguyfl Low-Roller

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    We have had will for many years and revisit them every two to three years. It is only common sense, so explain to your GF that it protects her from financial loss since you are not legally married. In other words it is more for her and any other beneficiaries than you.
     
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  12. Ty

    Ty ?

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    We don't have one, but we should
     
    Christmas Trip. Sam's Town & MSS
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  13. BlacklabberMike

    BlacklabberMike VIP Whale

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    we are in our early 60's and never had wills or health proxies until our son died unexpectedly 14 years ago this week.
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2016
  14. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    We're in our 60s. Hired a lawyer and put all our assets into a revocable living trust about 15 years ago. It wasn't cheap, about $1,200 at the time, but I do feel more secure should something happen to either of us.

    We decided where the assets would go to friends and relatives, assuming we don't gamble it all a way.;)
     
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  15. makikiboy

    makikiboy VIP Whale

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    I need to make one pretty soon. I don't have a lot of money and only own my condo (have a mortgage that will be paid off in a year or two though) as my biggest asset.

    My problem is if I die my assets will probably go to my mother, someone who doesn't need more assets. My sister and brother and their kids need it more so I need to make a will to make sure it goes to them instead of my mother.

    When my dad died the only thing I inherited was a condo that had the family mortgage on it. I asked my mother to use my dad's life insurance or his assets to pay off the mortgage. Her response was that I owned the condo now and am responsible for all mortgages. I didn't talk to my mother for the next couple of years, I was pissed at her. Since the market went down in the early 2000's the mortgage was way more than the condo was worth so I had to pay out of pocket since I couldn't rent the place for very much. She didn't need the money, she had other rental properties and his life savings and pension so she was very well off while I was barely making ends meet. Guess that's why I want to make a will so my brother and sister and their kids will get my assets when I die and not my mother.


    BTW, has anyone created their own will without using attorneys? I picked up some a will software and was wondering if anyone else went this route. Like I said, I don't have a lot of assets and didn't want to spend a lot on a will that could be produced with software.
     
  16. UKFanatic

    UKFanatic The Arbiter of Taste Caviar Kid

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    Each state has different laws if you die intestate (without a will). In most states, if you die without a will and unmarried, your assets go first to your children, then your parents, then your siblings, and then other relations (e.g., cousins).
     
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  17. northerngirl

    northerngirl Low-Roller

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    My 55 year old single BIL passed away suddenly last year. He kept his health issues secret......but, luckily had a will and health care directive in place. When he was in the hospital, we went to check on his home only to find his health care directive and living will neatly placed on his workshop bench.

    HIs death hit home with my husband and I (mid 60's). In our early thirties we had a will drawn up.....only because we wanted to make sure who would be guardians of our kids if something happened to both of us at the same time.

    We since met with an attorney and now have a joint revocable trust, will, power of attorney, and health care directives in place. It seemed like a very tedious process with lots of legal mumble jumble.....but glad we finally did it.
     
  18. Flowers

    Flowers VIP Whale

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    I am single but with some assets and I'm a lawyer though not currently practicing. I'm embarrassed to say I don't yet have one and I should know better. It's on my list to complete by the end of the year + a health care proxy and durable power of attorney, which I view as equally important since the odds of becoming temporarily incapacitated are probably even greater than my passing away any time soon (I hope that is the reality.) (I'm 52.)
     
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  19. smerrian

    smerrian Low-Roller

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    Sorry, but your girl friend is being very immature. The purpose of a will is to make things easier on those that you love when they're at their most grievous. Not wanting to talk about the inevitable will only hurt those you love.
     
  20. Sonya

    Sonya Queen of VMB

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    When I was in my 20's, I was in a relationship with a man who was older than me. Neither of us wanted to get married because he had been married 2x before and I was young and wasn't thinking about that kind of thing. He got cancer after we'd been living together about a year. He tried to talk to me about setting up a will or getting married so I'd be "taken care of" after a couple of recurrences of his cancer, but I thought it was morbid (tempting fate) and I was pretty sure he'd be fine as he was only 40.

    He died when I was 26, which was difficult, but what happened after his death made the whole thing much harder. His parents disputed everything. They put our joint bank accounts into probate so I couldn't even access my own money. I thought that his money and property should go to his kids, but my car, my money and my things were mine and I couldn't understand why anyone was fighting me over it. In court I had little recourse as I was just "the girlfriend", despite being his primary caretaker for the last 4 years of his life. Looking back, I wish we had set up a will to avoid the bickering.

    My husband and I still don't have a will, but we should. I've tried to approach the subject a few times in the past, but he feels like it's too soon and an unnecessary expense. We have no kids and most of our assets are in a joint trust (at my insistence), so he doesn't really see the need. I don't push the issue enough.

    I hope you can find someone to talk to her about it. And at the very least, make sure your will is in order, even if you do it without her input. Some day she will appreciate it being there for her.
     
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