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Damn Vegas Dilemmas....

Discussion in 'Misc. Vegas Chat' started by captainron62, Dec 5, 2012.

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  1. captainron62

    captainron62 VIP Whale

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    And, I have decided to take my girlfriend at the end of Feb between V-day and our birthdays, shes super excited so this is a big win for me before I even get there!!

    I may even propose to her while we are out there, not sure about that yet though!!
     
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2012
  2. queuetee

    queuetee High-Roller

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    Interesting that, at this point, 52 people have read the post but nobody has commented.
     
  3. Kimsa70

    Kimsa70 High-Roller

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    Sounds like you've done the best you can to be a good friend. Don't feel guilty at all. Alcoholism is a progressive illness and people get worse as they age with the way it affects them. I know sometimes I go overboard and need to cut back, and have had friends behave similarly as you describe your friend.

    The last thing anyone wants in Vegas is to be babysitting or be kicked out of a club or have someone we're with ruin the fun. That's probably why I go solo!

    Enjoy the trip with your girlfriend and if you propose, and she accepts, sound like that would be the best Vegas trip, ever!
     
  4. captainron62

    captainron62 VIP Whale

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    I guess I just needed to vent a bit. He is a great friend, great person, just in a bad spot w the drinking after a bad break up last spring. Me and my gf are inviting him out Friday night to try and introduce him to one of her friends, he needs something to snap him out of this.
     
  5. IWannaBeInVegas

    IWannaBeInVegas VIP Whale

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    Your a better friend than I am, I would never tolerate such stupidness. Good luck with the proposal
     
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  6. thenuke1

    thenuke1 High-Roller

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    i have a friend like that. I stopped hanging out with him.

    have you tried telling him to slow his drinking down ? or is he like on another level ?
     
  7. captainron62

    captainron62 VIP Whale

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    A lot of his friends have stopped coming around. I have tried and even did on the last trip in Vegas, he even said a couple times, "I know I have to be driving you crazy." The final day I told him no liquor, that I needed a day off from all the bullshit and wanted to enjoy the final day of vac. He just drank beer and maintained and was fine.

    Since we got back home its been up and down. Hes gone on a some multi day benders, then been sick for days, so he slows down and then ramps it back up. Hes got a lot of money and doesnt work, so he can do these cycles of drinking with little consequences, no kids, no wife or gf to be accountable too.

    I may try talking to him again, some of our friends have suggested that I do. I am just hoping something snaps him out of it, I hate to be the one to tell him what our friends are saying and thinking, its kind of ugly.
     
  8. Buddha

    Buddha VIP Whale

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    Ron ... Could your friend possibly be a candidate for "AA" ?

    Sounds like he needs some positive intervention to help him get off the sauce.
     
  9. hanoscf

    hanoscf High-Roller

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    Your friend needs help and soon.
     
  10. queuetee

    queuetee High-Roller

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    I am sure they are saying he's a drunk and you are enabling him ( hate to use the AA jargon). Last spring was a long time ago...This is December so that cannot be the "excuse" anymore.

    Whether or not you allow him to spoil your vacations to LV is the least of his and your problems right now. He needs help and he will kick and fight you on it. Are you up to the task?
     
  11. johnvic

    johnvic VIP Whale

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    You're a good friend. I think it's a mistake for you and your girlfriend to introduce him to a woman. It won't snap him out of it, he needs to deal with his drinking. All you can do is have a very direct heart to heart and offer support, but he needs to conquer this. Also, don't bring him to Jamaica, maybe you can escape him but he will piss someone off and unfortunately that will reflect on you.

    Just my opinion.
     
    Super Bowl Weekend for a Bachelor Party!
  12. dgr1973

    dgr1973 Low-Roller

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    You are a good friend hanging in there and trying to help but until he hits rock bottom and actually wants help he will never accept it. Hopefully he will wake up sooner then later while he still has people in his life that care about him.
     
  13. jerseyguy

    jerseyguy VIP Whale

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    You need to have a serious talk with him

    He'll probably deny he has a problem and call you all kinds of stuff for getting on his case and most likely wont change until he hits rock bottom,but you dont have to put up with any more of his crap ,and just leave him with the simple truth that you'll always be there to support him if he faces his demons and gets himself straight. He has to value your friendship also,it's not a one way street.
     
  14. MarkY

    MarkY Low-Roller

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    ^^^^
    THIS

    I used to be that guy (your friend).... 24 years ago and counting. Got my friends back too. They invite me to places again.
     
  15. Nevyn

    Nevyn VIP Whale

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    I agree with the others. This behaviour seems filled with red flags. I know it could be awkward for you, especially if a lot of your relationship is based on going out together and partying. But it really sounds like he is at a point where he needs help.
     
  16. Kimsa70

    Kimsa70 High-Roller

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    Agree. I once stopped drinking for a while, having been sick and tired of feeling sick and tired all the time and not dealing with reality. Your friend is probably having medical issues from the drinking, as you mention him being sick for days after a binge. This will only get worse if he doesn't get help. It's hard to admit one has a problem, and that is the first step. It's also scary, because without substances, you have to face reality and real "feelings" that you have been masking with substances. It's up to him to make the decision to get help. All you can do is be there to support him in that decision. Good luck!
     
  17. captainron62

    captainron62 VIP Whale

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    Thanks for all the good advice. I am meeting with a mutual good friend and we are going to talk to him about it. He already has a psychiatrist, but I doubt he is being honest with her. I am going to ask to go with him to a session or talk to her via phone. I know she calls him and checks on him.

    She actually was all for him going to Vegas and getting out a bit, I suspect that he doesnt report to her an accurate depiction of his Vegas trip.
     
  18. Pinny Long

    Pinny Long High-Roller

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    I'm not going to say he's an alcoholic (I don't know) or that he needs rehab or anything (again, not my call).

    But he IS ruining YOUR time and others' times because of his drinking and obnoxious behavior. So that's that.

    I would just be straight up and honest, "Bro, I love ya, but I can't tolerate your actions/ behaviour anymore. Either you quit drinking or we stop hanging out."
     
  19. LV_Bound

    LV_Bound VIP Whale

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    After reading he was more venting then really asking a question.

    She doesn't read this board does she????
     
  20. LolaDoggie

    LolaDoggie VIP Whale

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    Ron, you're a good person. I really believe that. I've read your posts and replied to a few. You always do the right thing. Even when it hurts you.

    There's a reason why you're the only friend left who will go out with this guy. A lot of qualified people have replied to this thread. I agree that this guy has a problem. He's not a social drinker Ron. He passed that milestone a long time ago. It's a very sad reality.

    Whether or not you want to have "the talk" with him or he gets help or he doesn't get help. I think it's probably best for you to focus on the positive things in your life. I think it's a very bad idea to introduce him to your gf/fiancee's friends. I don't think it'll do him any good. It'll just get her in Dutch with her friends which is a whole other mess you don't want to get into.

    I also think it's a bad idea to take him to Jamaica. All that will do is expose others to his situation and further embarrass him which alcoholics don't react to well and ruin other people's vacations.

    You're blessed that you can vacation regularly. For some other people on that Jamaica trip it might be their first vacation in years and they don't know when they'll have another good vacation. You've been really kind hearted about your trips being ruined, but, don't do that to somebody else.

    Yes, it'll let your friends see how far things have gotten with him. But, that doesn't mean it'll end with him getting help and everything will be fine. I hope the day comes when your friend gets himself sorted out and he can be as good a friend to you as you've been to him and you can have good times together again.

    None of us envies your situation but some of us have been in a similar spot. I would give you a hug or a cookie or something if I could. You know we support you.
     
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