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Costanza Does Vegas With Style

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by gotavegasjones, May 23, 2007.

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  1. gotavegasjones

    gotavegasjones VIP Whale

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    Location:
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    My Trip Report

    Trip Report
    May 15-18, 2007
    Imperial Palace/Red Rock

    Tuesday, May 15
    My friend Chuck and I were delivered to SAT by his beautiful wife at 6:45am for an 8:10am flight on Southwest. We had booked our airfare through their website at $99.00 per person each way. The flight into Vegas was on time. Our arrival gate was in the terminal with the baggage claim area. This was my first time to arrive in Vegas that I didn’t get on the tram to go for the bags. The baggage area at McCarran was desolate at 9:00am. The bags arrived quickly and we were outside looking for the Thrifty shuttle. There was not a Thrifty shuttle. There is now only ONE shuttle to all car rental joints. All of the car rental companies are now located in a central location just south of the airport on Gillespie Rd. The place functions much like the airport terminals. We were in and out of the new facility in less than 15 minutes. We were out on the streets of Vegas at 9:45am local.

    Thrifty put us in a Magnum station wagon. It was a good vehicle. The AC worked well and the acceleration was more than adequate for hanging with Las Vegas traffic. I would not mind getting another one of these on a future trip. I’d hoped for a free upgrade to a 300M. The request wasn’t granted and I got over the disappointment quickly.

    Upon leaving the renal car facility we quickly made our way to Las Vegas Blvd. The south strip was quiet. We continued north up the strip to Imperial Palace. Traffic was extremely light. Put the vehicle in the hands of the valet and the bags were entrusted to the Bellman. Our room was available just past 11:00am. I hadn’t stayed at the IP in several years and had forgotten the pedestrian nature of the rooms. It was sufficient for a one night stay.

    We knocked around the casino for a while before the room was ready. Chuck made a tidy profit at some VP machines. I lost a bit. We decided to have lunch over at Olives in the Belaggio. The Cuban style sandwich we shared was good. I had the Boston Bibb Salad with Maytag Blue Cheese. Way Good! He enjoyed his Caesar salad.

    After lunch we hung out in the casino for an hour or so. I lost some money at VP. I did win two Silver Streak coins and redeemed them as I already possess the two I won. Chuck continued his winning ways on the VP machines. We headed out to check out some other joints.

    At some point about this time I called Hurricane Mikey. We made plans to meet for breakfast the next morning at the Peppermill. He balked big time when I suggested that we meet at 7:30am. So, a 10:00am time of arrival was granted.

    Barbary Coast is now Bill’s Gambling Hall and Saloon. The Harrah’s influence on the gambling action in this joint continues. Lots of low limit Black Jack is available with poor rules for the players. We walked through Flamingo, IP and eventually settled at Harrah’s for some action at a Black Jack table. The table offered 3:2 payouts for a BJ. It was a two-deck, hand pitched game and required a $10 minimum bet. We played here for a couple of hours. I think we both won a little bit. Chuck wanted to check out the Hard Rock.

    After hitting the room for a short rest and change of clothes for the evening we set out to find our fortunes at the Hard Rock casino. My buddy continued to win at VP. I lost a hundy playing 3 card poker. I gave them a little more playing DDB VP. We decided we were hungry and went to the café, Mr. Lucky’s. We each ordered the $7.77 Gamblers Special. The special is not on the menu. The salads were good. Our steaks were actually pretty good. The garlic mashed taters were great and the three grilled shrimp were ok. For the price it is one of the better dining bargains in Las Vegas these days.

    After dinner it was back to the gaming action. He continued taking money from Hard Rock. I continued to donate. Sometime after 10:00pm we were both played out. A quick trip over to IP, phone calls to our wives and lights out all occurred before midnight Vegas time. Chuck was up several hundred and I was down ‘bout $160.

    Wednesday, May 16
    Sometime before 5:00am I was awake and headed towards the casino. Several 20’s in several machines got me a couple of cups of coffee and little more. I did manage to take some money out of a Wheel of Fortune machine to pay for my coffee eventually. I took some coffee up to the room to wake up my friend. He was up and showered. He went to the casino. I showered and joined him a little bit later.

    When I found Chuck in the casino we made a plan to find some breakfast. The walk over to Bill’s Gambling Hall and Saloon was quick. Doesn’t that name just bite? The Victorian Room is still a great place for a meal at almost reasonable prices. The eggs, sausage, toast, juice and coffee were well prepared and hit the spot.

    After breakfast probably at around 7:30am I hit a craps table. He went off to find a VP machine. I played at the table for almost an hour. During most of that time I was the only player. Once or twice a player or two would join in for a few minutes. I bought in for $100 at the $5 minimum bet table. I made the minimum bet on the pass line. When I set the point I’d spread some money across the inside and back up the pass line bet with 4X odds. After a bit of a choppy start I had a good roll and was up. After having had it up pretty good I gave a little back and colored up at $300 even. So for an hour of fun at the craps table I made $200 profit. It felt really good taking that money from Harrah’s Entertainment. It was even sweeter remembering that I had taken some cash from Harrah’s the day before.

    At a little past 9:00 am we checked out of Imperial Palace. By 9:40am we were headed to the Peppermill to locate Hurricane Mikey.

    While we are waiting at the Fireside Bar in the Peppermill for Mikey to show I realize I haven’t seen or heard or thought about my cell phone for a long time. I left Chuck playing VP and my Bloody Mary under his watchful eye to look for the phone. I thought I remembered leaving it in the car at Hard Rock and maybe remembered having it with me when I went to the casino early this morning.. I went to check on the phone - not in car, not in suitcase, not in carry on - it is gone, baby. I was agitated at myself for losing it and standing in the parking lot cursing under my breath when I hear, “Hey, Scotty! What are you doing?” My reply, “I’m not sure. I think I lost my cell phone?” seemed to amuse Mikey. He and Chuck both felt confident that it was packed in the suitcase.

    We ordered. Mike had the Eggs Benedict. I’m not sure what I or Chuck had. I know we both ordered something that wasn’t breakfast food. We had some laughs and visited a good while. Mikey acted like he needed to go. I encouraged him to play some Pai Gow with me over at Riviera or Sahara. He surrendered to the manipulation. Before we get to either of those places we saw the half price ticket outlet out front of the Peppermill. We finally settled on tickets for the Rat Pack Tribute at the Greek Isles. The price per person was $31 and change.

    While we are standing around at the half price ticket joint I’m still grousing neurotically about my cell phone when Mikey says, “Man, Scotty you’ve gone all George Costanza on us!” We all had a good chuckle on that one. The rest of the day I was usually referred to as George or Costanza by these guys.

    The pursuit of Pai Gow was fruitless. We didn’t see a table where we wanted to play in Riviera. So, we got in the car and headed out to Red Rock to check in. Before we left The Strip area we took Mikey’s truck over to Greek Isles so it would be handy after the show.

    The drive out to Red Rock always seems so long from The Strip via Charleston. Check-in at Red Rock was fairly quick. At one point I turn around and Chuck had my suitcase on the floor opened up and he’s pulling stuff out and going through everything in it. Alas, he gave up when no cell phone could be found. Some of the other clientele and Front Desk Staff were amused by our banter as we checked in and made our way to the hotel. Mikey accused me of flirting with the gorgeous young women who checked us in. I was. We dropped the bags off in the room. Then, we finally found some tables where we wanted to gamble. We were happy. The casino was happier still.

    I took a marker. I gave some chips to Mikey. He wasn’t real comfortable with the arrangement. But, he got over it with a little encouragement. We lost some money at a Black Jack table. It was almost worth it ‘cause our dealer was Lena. Last June my wife and I played at a table governed by Lena for most of an afternoon. Lena is from Moscow. She’s been in Las Vegas 3 years now. Lena is one of the most beautiful women you’ll ever see anywhere. In comparison to most of the dealers I’ve played with in Vegas - well there is no comparison - she’s the hottest female dealer I’ve ever seen. We had our a**e* handed to us quickly. Lena went on break. We went to a Pai Gow table. Made some of our money back and then proceeded to lose it and more. Lena was back on her table. As her loyal subjects are want to do we returned to her presence. She continued to punish us. By this time, I’m into my third or fourth Makers Mark. I declare to the others that I’m gonna have a bunch more Makers Mark and someone else will do the driving later that day.

    At some point Mikey suggests our luck is not going to turn at this table and we should go throw some dice. We did. We played craps and lost. Again, several times we were up significantly and didn’t know when to stop. We did a good job making bets for the dealers at the craps table that afternoon. They were the only ones to make any money. We smoked cigars and drank and lost money and had a really good time. Late in the afternoon we are back at the Black Jack table, I’ve taken another marker and our lovely Lena is still kicking us in the **** when I declare, “I’m done.” I shove my remaining chips at Mike and Chuck and head for the room to change before we head out for the show. Graciously they had been deterring the cocktail waitresses from bringing me more Makers Mark and she had been bringing me bottles of water off and on. Yeah guys, I saw you wave her off a few times when I asked for another one. Costanza had a good afternoon.

    I never made it to the room to change. A Venti sized coffee latte seemed the perfect next step as I passed by the Starbucks just outside the casino. It was good - I think. I stopped in one of the shops nearby and struck up a conversation with a poor soul who worked there. She had tolerated me for some time when I heard the boys hollering at me from over near the entrance to the elevators, “Scott, where have you been?” “Right here” was my slow, deliberate reply. I swear Mikey and Chuck sounded like Estelle and Frank. It is not a lie if you believe it. Seems they had sent out a search party for their brother gone missing in action. They’d been up to the room and all over the hotel and casino looking for me. I never made it 100 feet beyond the casino entrance. It took a while for us to find the valet ticket for the car. They have me going through all my pockets. I’m confounded as to where it could be. Then, I remembered I always put my valet tickets in my wallet so I’ll know where they are! Costanza strikes again.

    Mikey drove the rental like a NASCAR dude. We arrived in plenty of time for the show. I made a call to my wife. It was 7: something Vegas time so it woulda been 9: something in Texas. She was already asleep. I left a message detailing our gambling woes and hopes for a brighter future. She saved the message so she could play it for me when I returned home. The message was funny. We were having a great time and Mikey and Chuck were assuring her that I wasn’t in the driver’s seat in any capacity. When I listened to the message a few days later I was amazed how rational we all sounded. My Swiss cheese memory of the moment didn’t seem as clear as the message I left!

    The Tribute to the Rat Pack is a really good show. This was my second viewing. I believe Mikey has now seen it three or four times. It was the first time for Chuck to see this show. I nodded off several times during some of the stuff with the Dean Martin character. I didn’t nod off at all during the Marilyn segments. Sandy Hackett did a great job as Joey Bishop. This is a good show. It is worth every penny and the time you spend to see it. The Greek Isles Casino is a pit. It is nasty. Just close your eyes and hold your nose as you walk through to the theatre. Well, it is not that bad, but is a dump. Though, the show room is ok and the show is great.

    After the show Mikey was played out. So were Chuck and I. The Hurricane jumped in his truck and was off into the Vegas night. Charles drove the rental back out to Red Rock.

    Back at the Rock we decided to eat before we did anything else. The Turf Grill was our choice. At this point I’m getting sober and really hungry and not a happy camper. The hot dog with grilled onions and red peppers sounded good. Not sure what Chuck had. The meal cost us about $18 and was charged to the room. The Turf Grill is located right next to the Red Rock Poker Room and the Race and Sports Book. The Sports Book is way nice. The grill has good food and almost reasonable prices. We were exhausted and went to the room to sleep.

    Thursday, May 17
    Amazingly I’m awake at 5:40am and not feeling too terribly bad. Mind you I wasn’t feeling good. I decided to make a journey to the spa. Chuck got up and went along. Red Rock’s spa is nice. The spa attendants offer you a locker with key. They fetch you some slippers in your own size. They make sure you have a plush robe that fits. Red Rock includes the price of admission for the spa in every guest’s hotel bill. Since I was there on their dime it did not get added to my bill. Actually it was on the bill as a $19.00 charge for both days and $19.00 was credited on the bill for each day. When Red Rock says, “Free Nights” they mean FREE NIGHTS! The spa was a good place to detoxify from the previous afternoon’s buffoonery. Time in the whirl pool, sauna and rain shower took some of the edges off. I used all their amenities: took a long shower, gave myself a good shave,. ate an apple and an orange. I drank several small containers of orange juice and several bottles of water. Upon leaving the spa I felt almost human again.

    The day before, yes, we must talk about the day before George. During my attempts at acting like a Texas Oil Tycoon whilst wooing adorable Lena I had begun to harass one of the Pit Critters. His mane is John Pohorsky. You may wonder how I can remember that. Well, I have his business card in my hand as I write this. John is a young, good looking dude; kind of a younger version of myself and the band of buffoons I gambled with all that afternoon. Anyhow, Chuck had been saying he wanted to play golf in Las Vegas. We tell Floor Supervisor (that is the kinder name for a pit critter) John if he has any pull that he should set us up with a round of golf on Thursday. Before you can say pit critter three times real fast he has a Casino Host standing by my side asking me how he may be of assistance. I tell him, “My friend and I want to play a round of golf tomorrow. Can you set that up for us?” He replies, “Yes, I can.” I continue the request by indicating that Red Rock casino should pick up the tab for the round. He tells me he’ll be back in a few minutes. He comes back shortly with a proposed tee time at Palm Valley Golf Club. He informs us that it will cost about $120 per person with golf club rental. I tell him, “I want y’all to pay for the golf.” He laughed and said, “That isn’t going to happen.” Well I tried. The hosts name is Joe Demaria. Nice guy, but don’t tell him I referred you - he may hang up!

    And so that brings us back to Thursday morning May 17. At around 9:00am Chuck and I are headed north on the 215 Belt Way looking for Lake Mead Blvd. It took us some time to figure out that the BLVD doesn’t connect with the belt way just yet. After driving in literal circles for 25 minutes we ask for directions. Three minutes later we are in the club house we had passed by earlier. The course is nice. The club house and small restaurant are better than average. The day was beautiful with lots of sunshine and temps that never got above 94f.

    After getting checked in and wrangling our rental clubs - a set of Callaway Big Berthas - into a very nice golf cart, I went and ordered us some breakfast. The man at the grill set me up with two “Sunrise Specials.” The Sunrise Special is a breakfast sandwich. The sandwich I ordered had lots of cheese, sausage and an egg over easy. One could order the Sunrise Special with bacon. That tasty treat and some Gatorade started us off quite well.

    We had a great time playing golf. I’d like to claim that the rental clubs affected my score. I’d be lying. But, wait, it isn’t a lie if you believe it! The course was set up fairly. The greens were in good shape. We couldn’t putt for ****. The two older guys we played with kept saying “it’s the mountains there and the valley there that affect the ball.” Whatever it was, the ball would roll forever past the whole when I singed the edge or lipped it out a bit. I think I had 4 four putts in this round. Regardless, I enjoyed the round with my friend. We had a good late morning and afternoon on the golf course. Palm Valley is in Sun City very close to Dell Webb Blvd. What was that? The score you ask? I think I went 53-47=100 and I’m pretty sure Chuck went 52-46=98. We both putted a little bit better on the back.

    My memory of life after golf on that Thursday is hazy. I know we returned to Red Rock. I’m sure we both showered and relaxed in the room. Ah, I remember, we had talked about going downtown for a meal at the Ranch Steakhouse high up in the tower above Binion’s Casino. We flaked out and went to the Grand Café in Red Rock instead. Chuck had a big a** Chicken Fried Steak with all the trimmings. I had Kung Pow Beef with egg drop soup, egg roll and fried rice. The plates arrived with enough food for four people to eat and have some left over. This charge to the room was about $30. Chuck said the CFS was very good and I felt the Chinese food was prepared well, too.

    Following dinner we made our way to the bar at the center of the casino. Chuck said that the woman who did his manicure - oh now I remember! That is what he did after golf - he had scheduled a manicure for 5:30 on Thursday afternoon. He claims he only did it because his wife wanted him to. Come to think of it doesn’t this guy fit in nicely with Hurricane Mikey’s crew? Aren’t there reports that Mike and his guys like to get pedicures and ****. Well, the woman that did Chuckles’ nails told him that she and her significant other liked the bar in the middle of the Red Rock casino. Chuck wanted to see if she was right. We found some chairs at the bar and proceeded to play some VP. I was still nursing bottles of water. My buddy enjoyed some single barrel Jack Daniels. I managed to make some money at VP. A nice quad of 2’s netted me $200. I eventually won $270 after several hours of DDB VP. Considering the fact that I had some markers to pay off the casino was still in good shape in regards to my play. As the evening became night the place filled up with some young and pretty people. This bar had really good music. It was the kind of stuff my son and his college friends listen to when they are partying. I don’t know what genre you’d call it. Lots of bass, drums and electronics that make you want to bounce up and down and move your head similarly.

    Chuck was interested in finding a Black Jack table. I was interested in finding my bed. Before 10:30pm I was in my room snoozing off and on and watching some TV. Sometime around 11:50pm I remember turning off the TV. Chuck returned mas o menos 2:30am.

    Friday, May 18
    I was up and out of the room around 5:20am, just pulled on some long pajama pants a swoosh t-shirt and my loafer house shoes. The casino was very quiet. I played some VP and lost $20. A cocktail waitress finally appeared and I ordered some coffee. Before she returned I’d burned another $20. I took out a Benjamin and sat at the Megabucks carousel. I was playing along up and down, getting good play with this hundy. I get a little hit and I’m up to $207. I decide I won’t go below two hundred. Two spins later it hits something like three bars -three bars-X5 and the machine starts rolling up the dollars. When it stops I’ve won $450. I decide to play it a bit longer and it hits again for $200. I play that for awhile and I cash out when it gets back down to $701. I go to the cage and get my $700 in Benjamin’s and leave the single for the cashier.

    Starbucks was open as I made my way back to the room at a little past six am. Chuck appreciated the bedside service. Coffee latté’s for everyone!

    Soon after I left him in the room and made a return visit to the spa. The routine was the same as yesterday. I really like this spa.

    We went back to the Grand Café for breakfast around 8:00am. I ordered something called the Southwestern Bowl. It had some potatoes, red and green peppers, onions and some other stuff with eggs over easy on top. Good stuff. Chuck seemed to enjoy his Blueberry pancakes a whole bunch. Our waiter was a cool woman named Kathy. We visited with her a bit. I told her that I’d ask for her section when I’m back at Red Rock with my wife in June. Chuck said be sure and say to me when my wife is there, “You said you’d call!”
    We packed our stuff and then hit the casino. I made a little bit of money at a VP machine. Chuck wanted to know what Megabucks machine I had played on earlier. He put some money in it and a few minutes later he is laughing as the machine pays him $450. We knock around the casino for a couple of hours losing some of our morning winnings back to the house.

    We check out of Red Rock. I try to get a hold of a host to take the room charges off the bill. None can be located. I’m a little pi**ed. I pay for them. It was $97 and change. The desk person says that he’ll personally talk to a host later on my behalf and if the host allows it he’ll credit my account. In fact that is what happened.

    It is about 12:45pm and we are beginning to get hungry again when we get back on the strip. Our brief stop at Hard Rock had not produced my cell phone or any wins at the tables or the machines. We headed back to The Strip. Bill’s Gambling Hall and Saloon was where we decided to make our last stand at a Black Jack table and get some lunch.. Once again, the Victorian Room was more than adequate. Chuck had a good looking burger and I had a turkey wrap that was very good. The gambling bug needed to be tended to.

    We could not find a decent table in the joint. One would have to bet $25 a hand to get on a table which would pay 3:2 for a Black Jack. We finally agreed to sit at a $10 minimum bet BJ table that paid 6:5 for a BJ. We only saw about 6 BJ’s on the hour or so we sat there. I figure the crappy 6:5 payout cost me $7.50. Chuck lost his buy-in and just watched for a while. I got down to five red chips at one point. I then had a few winners and then got some good double down opportunities and won most of them. At one point I was up to $140 and when I got back to my $100 buy-in I colored up. It was a nice way to finish this trip.

    We took the car back to the central car rental return around 3:00pm. The drop off was quick and easy. The line to the shuttle went quickly and we were soon at Southwest check-in. We did some shopping for our wives in the terminal after the TSA checkpoint and a ride on the tram. Our wives each got some treats from Ethel M’s. I couldn’t resist going into the PGA Store. The prices on some of the golf shirts were very good. I bought a couple of really nice golf shirts. And, my wife even approved of the colors of the shirts I purchased.

    Flight was a little late but the pilot made up the time easily. We had a stop and change of planes in El Paso. We ate some sandwiches and watched our Spurs beat up on the Suns in a funky little snack bar in this funky little airport.

    The flight to SA was on time. A little over an hour later we land. The baggage came quickly and Chuck’s awesome wife found us at the curb outside of baggage claim and the trip has now become part of our folklore.

    Hope you enjoyed the read. I had a blast living through most of it. I’ll be back in Vegas in a few weeks with the most beautiful woman I know. That is if Lena doesn’t call.

    Later, Scott
     
  2. 1quick1

    1quick1 Tourist

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    Nice report.
     
  3. aggie182

    aggie182 Off Key and Out of Tune

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    great TR. What part of TX are you in?
     
  4. gotavegasjones

    gotavegasjones VIP Whale

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    aggie - I'm a Valley Boy!

    later, GVJ
     
  5. RossW

    RossW North of the 49th

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    Enjoyed the read Scott,

    Nice hit the Megabucks carousel. 700 bones must have helped out the gambling budget a bit.

    Red Rock sounds like a great place. I was told the same story about the mountains and the ball drifting toward them when you putt. Some great golf to be had in Las Vegas. Lot to choose from, and if you do your research, it can be affordable. ken2v is the one who can help in that dept.

    94F - that'd be a little warm for me on the course....:D

    Glad it was fun. :thumbsup:

    RossW
     
  6. Souette

    Souette Tourist

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    Incredible!

    Perfect report.
    I long for that desert valley and your words only contributed to my anticipation.

    ~Souette
     
  7. gmoney590

    gmoney590 VIP Whale

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    Great TR. Did you ever find your phone?
     
    Back where we belong
  8. gotavegasjones

    gotavegasjones VIP Whale

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    My phone lives in Vegas!

    Souette - thanks, glad to have helped. Anticipation is a good thing.

    RossW - good to hear from you. How's life in the great white north?

    gmoney590 - no! But, Saturday I bought a Sanyo Katana at the Sprint store. I renewed my contract and got a good deal. The package came with a Bluetooth device. So, now I'm drive the car with both hands on the wheel!

    later, GVJ
     
  9. Leeza14

    Leeza14 VIP Whale

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    Great TR

    I really enjoyed your report! I found myself smiling more than once, and I laughed out loud a couple times. Glad you had a great trip, and enjoy your next one, too. I'll look forward to that report as well! :thumbsup:
     
  10. IllMarty

    IllMarty Orangutan

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    Very nice trip report Scott. You did mess up a bit, To BE George Costanza you needed to order Kung Pow Chicken. "George likes his chiken spicy!"

    Marty
     
  11. gotavegasjones

    gotavegasjones VIP Whale

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    I thought it was chicken!

    Marty - You are so right. I was three maybe four bites into the meal when I realized I was not eating chicken. I told my buddy Chuck - "dude this is beef and not chicken!" He said, "yeah, that's what you ordered." Some serious problems with the synapsis' in the noggin. It was pretty good. But, I do prefer the chicken. Estelle was upset when she heard that I had eaten red meat.

    later, GVJ
     
  12. Dean Martin

    Dean Martin VIP Whale

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    Costanza...nice report dude...sounds like a good time, cocktails and a lot of laughs...as Vegas should be:)
     
  13. HurricaneMikey

    HurricaneMikey A-List Buffoon

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    Scotty--

    Great to see you again, bro.

    Man, I'm telling you... That Lena is some kind of hottie, eh? That's probably why they put her on the table with the continuous shuffle machine, so dorks like us will sit there all day.

    Good times, bro. Peppermill, hot chicas, adult beverages, and the Rat Pack. A pretty damn fine day if you ask me.

    And BTW, I *did not* have the Eggs Benedict, I had the pancakes.

    Mikey
     
  14. gotavegasjones

    gotavegasjones VIP Whale

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    "Yeah, I'll have the Pancake Combo!"

    EXCUUUUUSSEEE ME! My memory of Wednesday is somewhat impaired. Yes, we did have a pretty fine day of goofiness. I ready to do it again in 18 days.

    later, GVJ
     
  15. tara

    tara Low-Roller

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    Great report! Thanks for sharing!!
     
  16. dung bug

    dung bug Low-Roller

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    Nice report:wave:
     
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