so i flew out of lovely seattle directly to vegas on southwest airlines cough(bastards)cough to arrive in wonderful lost wages. some drunk chicks were on the tram to the terminal, one was pole dancing on one of hte poles (theres a sentence) and i think i saw tokyo when she was spinning around. thats a good sign to me! an omen of good times ahead. we grab out stuff and run into birthday boy at baggage claim holding a sign for 'hot stuff', so i walked over and said nice sign. apparently it was meant for his fiance who was flying with us. it sorta hurted my feelers.... well anyways, we get on the tram to the car rental spot, get a new nissan that was an excellent ride from national. and off to the timeshare we go. the timeshare is between mandalay and south point, thus the need of hte car. very nice place, but its just a condo building. we drop our crap off, i put on my lucky gambling underwear. off to southpoint. i have loved the other Gaughan properties before. this one was like how i remembered orleans and gold coast. if not for the golden glow of the place it was like being at the orleans (cept for hte big ass croc, thats a classy croc). we got some booze n food and i made a quick 150 playing bj. birthday boy wanted to go to the voodoo lounge, so off we go. get there and up the elevator. i do not understand the whole 'clubbin' scene, i don't understand paying for a whole bottle of booze and sitting behind a rope like a bump on a log while the other hipsters dance around some tart on a box. i guess i'm officially old now. we look at the sights, the people i'm with (i'm the only single/smart one) get all mush n start kissing in stuff (yuck!!!) its now about 3am and its bed time, so back in the car and off to bed. i wake up early with dreams of suited aces n kings and start making noise to rally the other sleepy sleepersons. after i annoy them enough they wake up. now this is hte part about travelling to vegas in groups for events that i don't like. we end up sitting around for the fiance to meet her friend so we can all go to breakfast. well breakfast turns into lunch as we sit around for 2 hours. and finally we go to palms for lunch. buffet was pretty good, surprisingly good for a 10 dollar lunch buffet. so the birthday boy and finance want to hang out with the hipsters at the pool for the playboy playmate party, so all 5 of us go in there. i felt very out of place in my non-designer clothes and big fat hairy white belly. plus those playmates need to eat 3 sandwhiches, dam they were skinny. well me and mr. b take off and leave birthdayboy, finance and mrs. b at the hipster pool and go downtown for some gambling. stopped off at the elcortez and was impressed with the improvements, may need to make my next stop there. we went into binions and some of hte other places doing some hit n run bj and had to leave so the 'couples' could go see love at the mirage. i'm not going to love....alone....with the happy couples. so i went to the olympic garden for some special love and then to the Stratosphere . ran moms 200 through the megabucks game, hit a ocuple small ones and churned them through for points and to win the jackpot. played the poker tourney, went all-in with pocket jacks in late position, one called. i hit a jack on the flop and he turned and rivered a flush, RIVER RAT! so i took off for the video poker and bj tables. mr and mrs. b show up after their show and went up to hte top of the tower for more 'romance'. i kept winning money. we took off for home around 2 am. the next day satruday was going to be my gambling day, i had them drop me off at south point for bj/poker/sports betting. they went shopping. i made sports bets for the day and some football futures bets. made too many horse bets waiting on the derby and lost all my derby bets. hit the roulette table for a quick diversion and met the coolest chick ever. we drank patron shorts (prolly six of htem) and had a blast. then she introduced me to her fiance :Ãž:Ãž eventually the others showed up and it was off to mandaly for the big 40th birthday party. we had dinner at the stripsteak restaurant, i had a filet that was awesome, some oysters that weren't and only 2 beers. wasn't any better than the filets i've had downtown, so it must have been the status n serfistermication i got there for the rest of the bill. after dinner the others wanted to go clubbing at palms, i begged off and had them drop me off at southpoint. i played some more cards and got a quick taxi home. the next day we met up with bday boys brother who had stopped in town and had lunch at bouchon at venetian. had hte chicken n waffles whcih was pretty good actually. then a mad dash to the airport and home. what i learned 1-i hate clubbing. 2-i like southpoint. 3-expensive food tastes just like moderately priced food. 4-i'm too old/fat/hairy for the playmates. 5-the playmates are too skinny for me. 6-never travel to vegas with anyone other than a wingman you can abandon at any time. what should not have happend was me coming home 600 up after all expenses, so now i wanna go back again. but this time alone. any questions?