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Bad Golf And The Art Of Throwing Your Club

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by Joe Strummer, May 22, 2014.

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  1. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    Let me preface.......
    *
    I'm playing bad golf.
    I've just recently gone 28 holes without a par.
    Yes.......it WAS some kind of record for me.:grrr:
    "Was"......"was"........( key word ).
    *
    Partial Excuse -
    Greens had just come back from 5 weeks after Air - ration ( sp ?)
    The Air holes were gone and the putts were starting to break
    the way they should.
    The greenskeeper now "Verti-Cuts" the greens !:grrr:
    "Are you kiddin' me ?"
    The putts are going in the opposite directions of the TRUE BREAK !
    My foursome is furious.
    Somebody said, "I'm just taking a 'two putt' on every green."
    I didn't........actually 4 putted twice.....:grrr:
    *
    So,
    last weekend I play 4 days in a row.
    Walked 18 - 18 - 27 - 18........the last round I was exhausted.
    AND THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENNED !!!!!:evillaugh
    *
    I'm not playing well.......I have the course to myself.
    I'm playing alone.
    The 13th hole : "The toughest golf hole in the county."
    That's how it is described in numerous publications --
    I'm thinking "Par" !.....until.... I land in the sand bunker surrounding
    the green.
    The bunker is HUGE.....and the green is 12 ft above your head.
    I hit a decent chip.....NOPE !....it hits the top of the bunker -
    rolls back down to my feet.( the sand was packed hard from heavy rain
    the night before ))
    Hit it again.......rolls back down to my feet.
    Hit it again......rolls back down to my feet
    AND THEN IT HAPPENS !!:nworthy:
    Without any thought process.....
    I quickly raise my sand iron above my head with two hands -
    I "tomahawk" it w/ both hands --
    getting a nice "end over end" rotation - with a loud curse -
    throw it at the top of the bunker where 3 consecutive chips landed -
    and the club sticks !
    ( easily a 10 score....though the East German judges scored it 7 ):Þ
    *
    Terrible golf ettiquette - you say ? -
    I can't tell you HOW GOOD IT FELT !!!!!!:evillaugh
    It felt SO DAMN GOOD !!!:thumbsup:
    It really felt good !
    *
    I don't throw my clubs when I'm around others --
    But.....I do DROP my club after the back swing - if a shot goes badly.
    I just let it drop -- usually with a "WTF was that ?" comment.
    *
    So....
    What kinda style do you use for those uncontrollable moments
    on a golf course ?
     
  2. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    My temper is legend. I can't count how many times I have melted down. I have calmed down 200% in my dotage from my 30's. The Depakote helps a lot, too.

    I once hit a 5-iron into a green that really was not that bad of a shot, but I had a perfect lie, perfect wind and when I struck it and throughout it's flight, I thought it was all over the pin. There must have been a gust or something, because it ended up in the back fringe. It actually was a good shot, but not the perfect one I thought it was going to be.

    I walked to the back of the cart, unstrapped my bag, raised it over my head and threw the entire thing into a pond that ran alongside the fairway.

    Throughout this entire episode, my buddy sat motionless and expressionless in the cart. He looked at me with a completely blank look and in a monotone said, "Great, Asshole, now go into the pond and get your clubs so we can finish the round."

    Sheepishly and completely embarrassed, I waded into the pond, got my clubs, emptied the water out of the bag and continued with the round.

    The other two guys in the foursome, total strangers, never said another word to me through the final 12 holes. Later, in the parking lot, one of them came up to me and said that was the funniest thing he had ever seen in his life, but they were too scared to laugh or make any comment.

    Golf, gotta love it!:cry:
     
  3. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    Wow! Ball ends up on the back fringe and that made you mad enough to throw you entire set in the water.:bang:
     
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  4. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    He said "My temper is legend."
    *
    The bag in the pond would qualify !:evillaugh
     
  5. Bossplayer21

    Bossplayer21 Low-Roller

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    I dont throw my clubs becasue I know they're too expensive. So instead I punch things, usually the cart. Not very smart either:nono:

    Usually ends up in an injured hand/wrist then i can blame my poor golfing on the injury:thumbsup:
     
  6. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    I caddied for Pierre LaRouche ( NY Rangers )
    he would take the golf club and BEAT THE HELL
    out of the golf bag I was carrying.
    Scared the hell outta me the first time he did it !
    I kept thinking...."jeeez - he must beat the hell outta guys
    on the ice w/ a hockey STICK in his hand ?.....crazy Canadian !":evillaugh
     
  7. Snidely

    Snidely VIP Whale

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    I used to have a golf temper and throw clubs but no more. After 1 or 2 of your golf buds pass on it puts the whole thing in perspective. I smoked a drive middle of the fairway and then chunked a wedge into the green. My temper was rising but my partner said, "hey, I postponed chemotherapy from today until tomorrow so I could play." Well, that cured me of the golf temper. Now, I put smiley faces on my balls and use a smiley face ball mark.

    I've played twice this year and been playing scary good for me.
     
  8. touche22

    touche22 Low-Roller

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    This sounds just like me. My temper is legendary on the golf course. I've walked off after 7 holes with 11 to play, I've smashed clubs, buried them in ponds and traps. In the past few yrs I've come to expect less of my game and am conscious of my partners so I have been much improved in the temper dept.
    My last episode a few yrs ago I missed a putt and came back and came down on my golf bag with the putter pretty hard. Snapped the umbrella, ruined the putter and the next hole I took out the driver and found out that I had snapped that shaft in half. That's about a 600$ venting. I can't afford my temper !
     
  9. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

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    Temper tantrums on the course are pretty idiotic for those who have the ability to actually play the game and make millions at it, so where does that leave the action for the rest of us?

    I don't care if you talk during my swing, crack jokes about my siggy over-the-top tippytoes move, smoke a cigar in my cart, tally up an eight and claim a five. If you are an ass -- and these kinds of rants and antics are being an ass -- ain't no one with whom I play who wants any part of you so look forward to those lonely solo rounds.

    Classic line I've heard repeatedly from touring pros and instructors over the years: "You aren't good enough to get mad at this game."

    Have fun. Have a drink. Pop a qualude if that's your thing. But no one here is good enough to get mad at this game.
     
  10. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    ^This and it is a game!:poke:
     
    Christmas
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  11. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    Oh, I have learned my lesson and I don't do it anymore. I was asked to please not go to Myrtle Beach anymore by one group and please don't go to North Carolina anymore by another.

    I screwed myself and I know it. Like I said, the Depakote helped tremendously.
     
  12. Molder66

    Molder66 Low-Roller

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    I once saw a guy chuck his club down the driving range.

    He then gave the, “it slipped out of my hands” excuse.

    I laugh at the club chucker’s, as long as it’s not headed in my direction.

    Now the player who will miss a put and then proceed to bury the head of his putter into the green will get a piece of my mind. :thumbsdown::grrr:
     
  13. MikeOPensacola

    MikeOPensacola VIP Whale

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    I had a boss that had such a profanity-laced tantrum at a company golf outing it cost him his $200k/yr job.

    When I was in college in Wisconsin I used to play a muni course in the spring and summer early on Saturday mornings. There was a guy whose name was apparently Paul one summer. Week after week I would hear screams of "Oh Paul!!!", ""F*** you Paul!!!", "For the love of Christ Paul!!!!!" and my personal fave "Paul, you're a whore!!!". All these years later I can still hear Paul's wails of self-derision echoing through the woods of Wisconsin.......

    :peace: :beer:
     
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  14. USCHawks

    USCHawks High-Roller

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    I used to have more of a temper on the golf course a few years ago but have calmed down a lot. I've broken two clubs before and don't want to break another. I'll still get angry at myself once in a while but I'll usually just keep my thoughts in my head now days. I already have very few friends that golf so I don't need to run them off.

    As for the clubs that I broke, the first one was when I was in middle school I was playing at a Par-3 course with one of my friends and got pissed after missing a putt. As we walked off the green I throw my golf ball up with one hand and swung the putter like a baseball bat. Much to my surprise I made perfect contact and the putter head snapped and went flying off with the ball.

    The second time I broke a club was about 5 years ago I had taken out my 3 iron for my 2nd shot on a par 5. I proceeded to remove about a cubic yard of the ground and my ball might have barely traveled 50 yards. I turned my club over and hit the grip side of the club onto the ground and my shaft bent about 90*.
     
  15. aaisack

    aaisack High-Roller

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    I don't play golf anymore.

    One time when I was in high school I got pissed off after hitting a ball in the lake, broke the club in half and flung the top half of the club after the wayward ball. The metal shards of the club sliced open 3 of my fingers, Within minutes it started to rain heavily. So I had to wrap my bloody hand with a now soaking wet sock, walk back to the car and proceed to urgent care to get a dozen or so stitches.

    Another time when I was in my early 20s, I was golfing with my uncle and his jacket somehow got sucked into the engine of the golf cart. This happened on a steep hill, and the cart quickly started to roll backwards. We had to bail out as the cart rolled over a 6 foot or so embankment. With the help of a few other golfers we somehow managed to drag the cart back to the course but it of course wouldn't start and we had to walk back to the clubhouse covered in dirt and grass stains.

    Golf doesn't like me.
     
  16. jerseyguy

    jerseyguy VIP Whale

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    I never "go postal" and throw clubs on the course

    I may call myself an idiot when I make a bad shot and I do get pissed when I see other people who dont observe golf ediquette or just waste time in total disregard of the people playing behind them.
    I try to remember what a friend told me when he was teaching me to play. He told me that right now we are out here on a beautiful day playing golf and at this moment we're as good as Donald Trump or anybody else.
    They say you really get a look at someones true personality and values when they play golf ,I believe that.
     
  17. Snidely

    Snidely VIP Whale

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    Donald Trump is actually a pretty good golfer.

    I'm heading to the course in about 45 minutes. Looking forward to a nice time. I'm going to be upset if I don't play well but I'm going to keep smiling. It's a scramble so 9 under should win it. I hope my team breaks par.
     
  18. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    I caddied for 16 seasons ( not counting high school summers ).
    I've seen it all.
    *
    I was caddying in a U.S. Open qualifier --
    The other golfer missed a couple putts -
    then bent his putter over his knee - trying to snap it.
    He failed.
    Next hole, he had to reshape the club - to putt.
    He failed.
    He putted w/ a crazy bent shaft the rest of the round.
    Yeh.....I was laughiing on every green.:evillaugh
    *
    *
    Just recently,
    I saw a guy on a cart, run over ( and destroy )
    a "No Carts" sign.
    Funny as hell.:thumbsup:
     
  19. Snidely

    Snidely VIP Whale

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    No clubs were thrown today. We shot -1 and -9 won the tournament. It was a beautiful day with a great bunch of people. Never mind that I missed the green from 104 yards, took the pre-paid Mulligan and missed it again. Or that I missed 4 putts inside of 8 feet. It was a nice day!
     
  20. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    After some soul-searching, I have to say that I deeply regret the temper tantrums and apologize to all of the people that they affected.

    I am a total effing idiot for having done it.
     
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