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A Very Short Golf Story

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by Joe Strummer, Jun 24, 2013.

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  1. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    I was playing the other weekend.
    A guy, I didn't know, tells this story :
    .
    "I was in a foursome.....
    I was playing w/ one woman ---
    At one point, I had to yell 'FORE !'
    The woman says to me :
    ...."fore ?....fore ?......I thought it was "fort".
    Guy said, "Well, you must be a beginner, right ?"
    Woman replied : "Not really...I've been playing for
    10 years and yelling "FORT !" all this time." :rolleyes2:
    .
    .
    Your turn.:thumbsup:
     
  2. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    My wife and I are paired with a single. Heavily wooded 7th hole. The guy grabs a roll of toilet paper out of his golf bag and heads for the trees next to the tee box. Enough said!
     
    Christmas
  3. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

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    Walking up 18 at Pebble, after having birdied three holes and yet not on the way to breaking 90, my caddie walks over, puts his arm around me, laughs and says, aptly:

    "Mr. Van Vechten, you're some kinda fuckd up, aren't you?!"
     
  4. Big Tip

    Big Tip VIP Whale

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    We always play 36 in a day.
    Last week one of the guys, 10 handicap, shoots a 73. I lost money to him.
    Next round he shoots a 94. :evillaugh Mr. Consistent. Won all my cash back plus a bunch more.
    Funny game this golf, yes?
     
  5. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

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    Funny? You can say that. I have a brace of cards that read 37-51 or 58-39.

    A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
     
  6. Dean Martin

    Dean Martin VIP Whale

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    Now that is some funny shit...:evillaugh You gotta love golf and you gotta have a sense of humor to play it!:thumbsup:
     
  7. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

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    Amen, brah, amen.

    So a couple years back I'm doing an interview with one of the BEST GOLF INSTRUCTORS IN THE WORLD. So we're beating balls and I'm being my usual 5-no-I'm-a-26-handicapper thing and he says, "You are one hell of an athlete to even hit a ball with that swing."

    So I have that going for me, which is nice.
     
  8. USCHawks

    USCHawks High-Roller

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    This isn't a story, but on my round yesterday I managed to card an eagle, birdie, par, bogey and double bogey. This about sums up my usual round (minus the eagle, those are fairly rare)...all over the place!
     
  9. jerseyguy

    jerseyguy VIP Whale

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    I still laugh when I remember this line.

    We were stuck behind a group of slow ladies one day. My buddys and I know how far we drive the ball so we teed off on a par 5 and one ball landed about 30 yards or so behind the women,not really close. One came flying back screaming about it and my one buddy,a vet. yelled "Lady I've had mortar shells land closer to me than that ball".
     
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