Trip 1â€¦.. Frank goes to Bed Bath & Beyond: Our flight didnâ€™t leave until 2pm, so we had time to make a one hour drive to meet with the cabinet maker for our kitchen/bath remodelâ€¦..got back into town with just enough time recheck the packing and take off for the airport. Arrived at LAS right on time, and headed for the baggage claimâ€¦.there are three limo drivers with name placards waiting for passengersâ€¦.my wife points to the one with our last name, and says, â€œwe should tell him thatâ€™s for usâ€â€¦..she was quite surprised when I walked up and said, â€œHi! You must be Jim!â€. She hadnâ€™t been in a limo since our wedding, and thought it was very cool. We got to the curb, and Jim says, â€œyou wanted the Stretch, didnâ€™t you? â€¦. I donâ€™t have it, I hope thatâ€™s allrightâ€. We were fine with that. Then Jim pulls up the Super Stretch! Nice! Big Limo. We climb aboard, Jim pops the Champaign, and away we go! Since we were staying at the Luxor, Jim says heâ€™ll just drive around for a whileâ€¦.great! Up goes the privacy barrier, on goes the music, in goes the champagne! Apparently, champagne and limoâ€™s have a strong effect on women, even ones youâ€™ve been married to for almost twenty years! Note to self, book more limos. We get all checked in at Luxor. The room wasâ€¦.fine. On my Vegas hotel scale, Iâ€™ll put it right below Monte Carlo. Iâ€™d definitely stay there again, although if taking my wife, Iâ€™d probably upgrade to the Jacuzzi room. Once that was done, we decided to eat dinner early, as we had both skipped lunch in anticipation of Mon Ami Gabi. Hopped a cab to Paris, by 5:30 we were on the patio of our favorite Vegas restaurant, eating shrimp cocktail and the fromage du jour. Split a wonderful steak with blue cheese sauce while watching a few fountain shows and the constant stream of people on the sidewalk. The sun was just below the Bellagio, and it was a perfect low 70â€™s evening. Who could ask for more? After dinner we step next door to the shopping mall in the Aladdinâ€¦.spend a couple hours there, buy a few things, and then itâ€™s off to the Mirage! At the appropriate spot in the Mirage, we part waysâ€¦..Iâ€™m off to the poker room, and sheâ€™s off to the black jack tables. About five hours later she comes to get me, and weâ€™re both up a little. Day 2 consisted primarily of gambling all day and all night. Aww yeah. The highlight was my wife coming to get me in the poker room for dinnerâ€¦.I had been grinding away for several hours, the blinds slowly chewing down my stack. When she came up behind me I had just gone through the blinds, and told her we would take off as soon as I played my â€œfree handsâ€. She was sitting behind me, and I would flash my cards to her. After a couple of nothing hands, there they wereâ€¦pocket cowboysâ€¦flashed her twice, just to make sure she knew. I raised preflop, and every single person stayed in. The flop brought A, K, Xâ€¦. woohoo! I check, and someone downtable bets, and gets raisedâ€¦ I call. The turn is garbage, and again I check, and then checkraise! What fun! Three guys stay. The river is more trashâ€¦.I lead out the betting, and two guys callâ€¦.aces, I have to assume. I turn over the Kâ€™s for trips, and rake the hugest pot I have ever won! Lots of comments about lady luck, etc., and I couldnâ€™t take the Cheshire Cat grin off my face. I turned to my wife and said, â€œyou want me Right Now, donâ€™t you?!â€ hahahahahahaa Off to dinner at the Bellagio buffet, which was good as alwaysâ€¦.the walk between Mirage and Bellagio is the perfect distance both before and after dinner. The only remarkable thing that happened that night at poker was that I had Trip Aces four times, and they got cracked every single time. Amazing. Wednesday morning we slept in, and then it was time for my wife to fly home. She informed me that I would not be accompanying her any further than the taxi, as that would be foolish waste of Vegas timeâ€¦.I love that woman. We spent the time in the taxi line laughing about images of me high fiving the taxi guy, random bellmen, and other guys getting into town for March Madness. From the taxi stand I made my way over to the M&M and Coca Cola stores to buy candy and presents for various family membersâ€¦.it was a nice hot day, and a great walk in my favorite city. Back to the room to unload and check in with the fellas. Call Bazootch, but his phone doesnâ€™t accept messagesâ€¦.how do I get this feature on My phone?! As Iâ€™m walking over to Mandalay Bay I see there are a couple of obscene messages from Mikey asking where the hell I am, and what the hold up is. Outstanding. I find Bazootch in the MB poker room, where he is kicking ass and taking namesâ€¦..dude has a rather substantial stack of chips in front of him. Not about to mess with the Mojo, I tell him Iâ€™ll meet him at Red Square later, per plan. Dawn and Mikey are out seaching for a hot craps table, so itâ€™s back to Luxor for me, and a few hours of poker. Trip 2â€¦..Frank the Tank sees the Beer Bong After a shower and change of clothes, itâ€™s off to Red Squareâ€¦.I see Bazootch off to the side, and he has a little green box with himâ€¦.Patron Silver baby!! Nice. We try to get a table for seven, but no luck, so we hang out front until Mikey and Vegas Jer stumble up, claiming to have already been drunk twice that day. Nice. Next is 3Cats, who comes bearing gifts! Rio mardi gra beads and decks of Bellagio cards for everyone! How cool is that?! Next is LV Dawn and a friend of hers, who had been getting something to eat. We stand around getting to know each other as Limo Time draws near. This is when the first Midget walks byâ€¦..Bazootch has to be restrained from asking to take a picture together. We walk to the front of MB, and I meet Jim for the second time, and again he is popping the cork on champagne. Nice. We pile in, and I start fondling the box that holds the Patronâ€¦.soon itâ€™s cracked, and the first shot (at Least a double) goes to Bazootch, who is just kind of eyeing it warily. I ask him how many times heâ€™s had tequilaâ€¦..â€including this time? Once!â€â€¦.. Woohoo! Welcome to Hell, Iâ€™ll be your tourguide! We all take several of these rather large shots (except for Dawn, who has to work in the morningâ€¦.she seemed to have a fine time anywayâ€¦heehee), and it is On and Crackinâ€™!! Soon Mikey is yelling out the back window of the limo things like, â€œThereâ€™s naked chicks in here!â€ and offering shots to people in the car next to usâ€¦.one car load is laughing and yells, â€œHappy St. Patrickâ€™s Day!!â€ to which Mikey holds up the Patron and yells, â€œItâ€™s Cinco de Mayo in here!!â€. After a while â€œcertain unnamed individualsâ€ needed to stop to use a restroom, so Jim pulled in to TI. Those of us standing around did the only the thing there was to do with a good buzz in Vegasâ€¦.go to the phones!! I hand Mikey my phone and list of numbersâ€¦. This is where SMarra received the late night call, then as we are loading up again, Hoyaheel gets the call, and gets passed aroundâ€¦apparently, I didnâ€™t make much of an impression, as she does not remember talking to me! :-D Now we decide we had better get some food in us, so we head downtown for some Shrimp Cocktailâ€¦.Jim pulls the limo right up the side entrance that leads right to the cafÃ©â€¦.we step inside, and see a Huge lineâ€¦.at Least fourty deep, if not moreâ€¦.we are standing around hand wringing on whether to burn our limo time in line, when I notice 3cats is standing at the register, giving me the â€œget over here and order!â€ look! Are you kidding me?! Without ever looking at anyone in line and say, â€œI need six shrimp cocktails, Stat!!â€ those come flying out along with a coffee for Jim, and we are Set! Possibly the most dangerous thing I did the whole trip. Hahahahaaha 3Cats is fearless. Back in the limo, and itâ€™s off to the Vegas sign, to snap a couple of picsâ€¦..shockingly, we were not the only people to have this idea! Two limos full of girls were also there. Iâ€™m sure Bazootch will have them up soon. Mission accomplished. With both the Patron and the Champagne empty, we need a new homeâ€¦.Jim takes us to The Orleans, which had been decided on before the trip. We say goodbye to Jim for now, and await his return later. I was surprised both at the size of this place, and how packed it was! Bazootch and I head directly to the bar, and get mudslides for everyone. By the time we get back to the craps table with drinks, everyone has plenty of chips in front of themâ€¦.Mikey was working his magic. Nice. The shooter finally sevens out, as does the next one rather quickly, and Vegas Jer, 3Cats, Bazootch, and I head over to the bar. Jer only makes it as far as the black jack tables Next to the bar, but itâ€™s close enough that I can hit him with a fairly steady stream of margaritasâ€¦.Iâ€™m pretty sure that somewhere in there 3Cats, Bazootch, and I had at least one shot of Patron Gold (they were out of silver)â€¦..those margaritas were Good! At this point, noone was feeling any pain. I mean, No Pain..hahahahaha. Jim shows up after getting off duty, and has a margarita with us. Outstanding. Oh yeah, he has Bazootchâ€™s phone with him that was left in the limoâ€¦ nice. Showing that he truly is the Bomb, he offers to give us all a ride back in his Caddyâ€¦.I seem to recall that there was a picture of this as well, and itâ€™s got to be funny. Back at MB, Dawn is off to bed (that pesky work thing again), as are Jim and 3Cats. That leaves Jer, Mikey, Bazootch, and myself to entertain each other. No problem. We head to the poker roomâ€¦.itâ€™s packed. So we go to the poker room at Luxorâ€¦.also packed. Itâ€™s the night before March Madness, and Lots of guys need to entertain themselves. So we go over to lounge for yet another drinkâ€¦..Jer and I get Ketel 1 martiniâ€™s, and Bazootch and Mikey getâ€¦..I donâ€™t remember. We are having fun watching a group of women dance in front of the band. At one point we try to convince two women next to us to ditch their husbands and go streakingâ€¦ â€œcomeâ€™on, everyoneâ€™s doing it! Weâ€™re streaking to Mandalay Bay!â€ Much fun. The band calls it a night, and there we are sitting there looking at each otherâ€¦then it hits meâ€¦.itâ€™s freaking St. Patricks Day, and I havenâ€™t had a beer!! I suggest Nine Fine Irishmen at NYNYâ€¦.Mikey and Bazootch say uncle, and head back to MBâ€¦ Jer is up to the challengeâ€¦outstanding. NYNY is Crankinâ€™! Lots of people having Lots of fun. We find the pub and get in lineâ€¦the place is packed, but looks like fun. Then we figure out there is a cover chargeâ€¦.uhmâ€¦you want me to pay you $10 so you can sell me beer? Uhhâ€¦no. Off to the Bar at Times Square where there is convenient seating right at the bar on the outsideâ€¦. All of the fun, and much better service. That place is a blast. I canâ€™t remember what we were drinkingâ€¦.I do remember that they were out of Guinessâ€¦ whatever it was, it was Good! I also bought the attractive young woman next to me, who was in the â€œentertainment industryâ€ a vodka cranberryâ€¦. What can I say, I like to spread cheer. We close that bar, and decide to play some poker on the way back to our rooms. On the way out, we saw some stuff normally reserved for a â€œGirls Gone Wildâ€ videoâ€¦. I love this place. We stop at the Castle, which has a surprisingly large poker room, but there is an hour waitâ€¦ I donâ€™t think soâ€¦off to Luxor where we get right in. We play for a while, until the hand where I get AQ of diamonds, and Jer has pocket Jacksâ€¦.he bets, I raise, the flop comes ragsâ€¦he bets, I raiseâ€¦because Iâ€™m drunkâ€¦.the river is the beautiful Queen, and I crack his Jacksâ€¦. Brutal. He took it well though, but, again, because I was drunk, and had to get out my phone and call a friend of mine who was at TI, to see if he wanted to come up and get some of that! Hahahahaha Soon after that, Jer had had enough. At 4:30am, when my AQ of clubs tuned into the nut flush on the river, and I didnâ€™t raise because I didnâ€™t know if my pair of aces was good enough, I figured it was time to go to bed. Wake up call comes less than four hours after my head hits the pillow. Today is supposed to be tournament day, which starts at 10am. I call Bazootch, who, along with Mikey, did Yeomanâ€™s duty, and got up at 7am to sign us up. No luck. I heard later that it sold out in seven minutes. Strong effort anyway fellas. Bazootch says today is moving day, and they have some other errands to run. I opt for more holdem. Down to the tables, where I stay All Day. Did I mention that holdem is crack? Hahahaaha Played until about 5pm, when I figured Iâ€™d better eat something. Figured the buffet was the fastest and easiest, so I did that. Back to the room for a shower and change of clothes. I feel much better. I call my friends from work who are in townâ€¦.no answerâ€¦why bring a phone if youâ€™re not going to carry it?! Call Bazootch to see whatâ€™s happninâ€™ downtownâ€¦.heâ€™s says comeon down and weâ€™ll play some pokerâ€¦ok. Well, itâ€™s the first night of MM, and after 15 minutes in the non-moving cabline, it was back inside to the Luxor poker roomâ€¦. Iâ€™m telling you, itâ€™s Crack! So I didnâ€™t get to see those guys again. Three of my friends from work did make it down to play poker at the Luxor until about 3am, which was fun. Flew home Fridayâ€¦.got in about noon. Had to run a couple of errands then had a couple of hours to kill before picking up my daughter and taking her to Softball practiceâ€¦..did I take a nap? No way! I had to hit the pipe at Paradise Poker!! Hahahahhaa After two days of yard work and car washing, along with shopping for tile and appliances, I am now back to normal (whatever That might be). Whenâ€™s the next trip!?