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A little humor for those of us older than 60

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by Joe, Apr 27, 2015.

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  1. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    _______________________________________
    Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...

    Perks of reaching 60 or being over 70 and heading towards 80!

    01. Kidnappers are not interested in you.

    02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

    03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

    04. People call at 9 pm and ask,"Did I wake you?"

    05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

    06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

    07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

    08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

    09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

    10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

    11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

    12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

    13. You sing along with elevator music.

    14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

    15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

    16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

    17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

    18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

    19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

    Most importantly, never, ever, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
     
    Christmas
  2. Electroguy563

    Electroguy563 Over-Fried Gambler

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    Ha! ha! I can relate to all of them. And I'm gonna be 59 this year... Don't know if I should be happy or what, lol!

    I like #3 the best.
     
    Going to Hawaii's 9th Island!!
    Going to Hawaii's 9th island!!
  3. smartone

    smartone VIP Whale

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    Though still a few years away, I too can relate to the whole list... especially this one:

    12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
     
  4. booker

    booker High-Roller

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    Yesterday I took my buddy to see his doctor.

    "Bob," the doc said, "I've got some bad news and worse news. What do you want first?"

    My friend replied, "Give me the worst, and don't sugar coat it."

    "Okay. You've got cancer," reported the doctor.

    "Oh, my. What's the other thing?"

    "You also have dementia."

    "Thank God. At least I don't have cancer,"
     
  5. hotreds

    hotreds VIP Whale

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    Old age sucks but it beats the alternative!
     
    A/C in December!?
    Will give them a try!
  6. Electroguy563

    Electroguy563 Over-Fried Gambler

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    On rare occasions I still try to hold my belly in when an attractive woman is around but a voice in my head always says "C'mon man, who are you trying to kid...."

    :evillaugh:beer:
     
    Going to Hawaii's 9th Island!!
    Going to Hawaii's 9th island!!
  7. jerseyguy

    jerseyguy VIP Whale

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    I'm gonna hit 70 this summer but lucky for me I dont have a lot of issues. When we stayed friday night at Harrahs AC I didnt have the desire to go out and dance with the young honeys like I used to . Maybe thats a harbinger of things to come?? Going back this friday ,maybe I'll do a lot of dancing ,or maybe I'll die there, either way it's all good.
     
  8. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    Have to disagree, it doesn't suck at all. Don't have to work; fly 8 times per year for vacations, (yea I know, vacation from what) and no prescription medications needed, at least so far. And believe me, I have not led a healthy lifestyle. :beer:
     
    Christmas
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