I turned 43 on 3/17 and my wife let me take my mom out to Vegas with me. My mom is 67 but gets around much better than me and my bum leg and my wife is busy with tax season. So this was good birthday gift for me. plus my mom hasn't been there in a while and she wanted to go back. I'm not much good at these, so I will just go through some of the things I can remember from the trip. Flew Philly to Vegas on Spirit 8pm Saturday night arrived in Vegas around 10:45 after a bumpy ride. Shuttle to get car rental and wait 45 minutes for Payless. You do pay less ($106 including all taxes) but man they make you sweat for it. About midnight and we are finally on the road and on our way to 3 free nights at Palazzo and a free night at Mirage. We were starving so we ate steak and eggs at Grand Lux cafe. My mom is normally very frugal but when in Vegas, she spends like there's no tomorrow. $50 bill...$20 to the waiter. Mom, that's a 40% tip...yeah he was cute. OK. He kept my Diet Pepsi full so that's all I was concerned about. Gambled a little bit then went to the room. She usually stays at Harrah's or IP so this was a huge upgrade for her. She thought I got a special suite, but I told her it was the standard room at Palazzo. They have the best standard rooms in Vegas and this was the 48th floor. I go with my wife, who likes high rooms, and they only have the 12th floor available. Go with mom, who is scared to death of heights, and they have 48th floor. Figures. Get up next morning and head to slot tournament. Sucked as usual and didn't return for rounds two and three. Had breakfast at I heart burgers and it was pretty good considering that place specializes in Burgers. Had Eggs, bacon, french toast and it was great. Headed over to Wynn where my mom had 2 free nights for some reason and $150 slot play. So she checked into there and then used her $150 on this $1 machine that gave bonus spins and all kinds of crazy payouts and for the $150 freeplay she ended up with $320. Buffet is on her. Gambled and then hit the Wynn buffet. King crab legs were tasty, but some of them were actually coming out completely frozen. Seemed a little weird, but they thawed and tasted good. Sushi isn't good, so don't go there for the sushi. It wasn't very good. Friendly workers and we just missed the rush because on our way out, the line was completely full and a little down the hallway. Headed back to Palazzo for a couple hours. Mom was tired so the day ended there. I thought I would come back down but was tired too and just crashed. My mom likes couches so she slept down in the living room on the sectional. Plus she watches dumb TV shows so I watched my laptop with headphones on. Next morning I wanted to take her around places she never could see since she never gets a car. I searched for best steak and eggs and this place out off I-15 came up called "Rise and Steak" or something like that. Got the NY Strip and eggs...very fatty steak but everything else was fantastic. And the waitresses wear pajamas. They were the nicest people you'd ever meet. Very friendly lady was our waitress...Lisa I think. Headed over to M Resort on our way to Hoover Dam. Nothing special there...but it was the last time I would end up a winner while mom would lose. I won a couple hundred on Iron Man and a couple hundred on Clue while she lost everywhere she went. Hit the Dam...she really liked it. I always like it but I have seen it a bunch of times and my Achilles was really acting up. Headed back to the Strip to check into Mirage for Monday and Tuesday nights. Really only needed Tuesday but I figured I would get my maximum allotted 2 nights out of it and it was a good thing because I got tired and stayed there while she walked back up to Palazzo. I guess women need all their stuff while I just woke up and went back to Palazzo in the morning. This was where my losing began...every machine in Mirage hated me. I liked True Blood but couldn't sniff a bonus. Had a couple bonuses on Willy Wonka, but didn't make much. Meanwhile, right next to me at the fishing game, my mom proceeded to win $1600. She caught 5 fish during the bonus, including the big $800+ one AND the $400+ one. Amazing. Then she went to play some video poker game and hit 4 3's with an Ace for 800 credits $400 bucks. Amazing again. Also, sometime that day/night we went to Sushi Samba and mom didn't like it there at all. She's a picky eater and they didn't have much for her. She got the Filet Mignon which was small and she did like that but "it was too loud in there!!! " Next morning was our last full day and I figured I would take her out to Red Rock. She really liked the scenery but wanted to get to the gambling action. I figured we would play some bingo since we always play at her church and it's not a bad way to kill an hour or two. Of course, she wins $300 on the third game when she gets Bingo in like 7 numbers on a level 3 card. Amazing. it was the only Level 3 win of the session. Every other win was $100 or $200 or a split unless it was one of the jackpot games. I never even got close. Called to check out of the Palazzo zero fees as usual. Great place with free rooms is unbeatable. Call Wynn to check out of her room too. Zero fees. But since we didn't play there much, I doubt she will get another freebie there again. Went to Yard House at Red Rock. Amazing if you are a draft beer drinker. They have over 100 different kinds of draft beer. Plenty of Tvs. Would be a great place to watch the games and drink a bunch of different drafts. At Mirage, I decided to try to win some money at the bubble craps game. Was fun and I did win around $500 there, but lost it all back in the various slots. But as for the bubble craps, it probably was just my imagination and the alcohol thinking but it did seem to me you could sometimes get 2 or 3 or 4 horns in a row if you just timed the button the right way. I know on the regular table it doesn't happen more than a couple times in a day, but on the bubble 4 different times with me hitting the button, I hit 3 or more horn bets in a row by hitting the button right when she said to hit the button if it was on 1-1, it would come back at 1-1 or 1-2. Betting $5, then $10, then $15 it would pay between $20 and up to $77. Plus it was fun. I'm sure it was just my imagination, but seemed fun anyway. I liked putting my own bets out there too. With the right people sitting around it, and with it hitting like it was, this was as much fun as standing at a table. Maybe not to the Craps Purists...but to me, it was a good time. Of course, being the idiot I am, I had to stagger around with my $600 ticket trying out various slots. Worked it down to around $180 and then hit a big bonus on Iron Man. One Jericho missile and it almost filled up the whole screen with Wilds. I was playing 250 credits(max was 500) and was paid $480, which jacked the ticket up to $600+. Lost a hundred on the stupid Walking Dead machine. Yeah, the bonus is OK, but that machine doesn't pay sh*t during spins. I won 25 spins, and then hit 2 more extra 25 spins and after 75 total spins, had a WHOPPING $65 from the spins. luckily I had hit around $20 while the wheel was spinning, but still...for a max bet, getting less than $1 a spin on average from free spins sucks. Then the machine that hates me and I hate it, but I still always play it hoping for the bonus that has alluded me and continues to allude me. I'm guessing that on this trip, I probably lost around $600 and played for 2 hours on Van Helsing and didn't get a single bonus. In three different casinos over three different days. Yeah, it pays me on spins at least...I think I won $120 on a spin when I got 3 or 4 Van Helsings across the long wheels. But I want the bonus on that machine. I need the bonus on that machine. And yet...ugotz. Oh well...maybe next trip. Final morning get up, check out of Mirage, head to airport, buy my wife a nice Coach purse at the Coach Factory store right there as you return your car...what a great place this is. Basically, you get around 66+% off all items in the store. I got a $358 purse for $120...which was 40% off, then 30% off then 20% off. Such a good deal, I also bought her the two smaller purses that go with it and the total was still less than $200. My mom said she will stick to her KMart purse...guess that Vegas spending spree was over once we checked out of Mirage. So for the trip, I ended up losing around $1400 and mom ended up winning around $1400. Next time, I'll just give her my money, punch myself in the balls and it will be a lot less painful.