Faithful readers of my previous reports know this can get long... So for an entire week before flight time, the expert weather forecasters located in Southwest Missouri were screaming that the World as we know it, green, was going to change and become solid white with ice highlights. The usual, hey I'm going to Vegas, was replaced with, shit, my wife's gonna call it off. As Vegas day got closer, the forecasters came on with worse news. Friday morning, flight day, we woke up to overcast skies with not a flake of snow anywhere! Good deal, head out for the 50 mile drive to the airport with scattered flurries and wet pavement. Get to the airport, and it starts to snow. Who cares, we are here now! Managed to score < $100 tickets each before bags and taxes, on a full size MD-80 non stop, (Allegiant), so we were pumped, board, push back from the gate on time, and the tug get's stuck on the ice. Now we are halfway out and going no where. The tug pulls us back to the gate, get's a running start and again halfway out. Finally, we get another tug to push the tug and get all the way out, only to see the deicing truck leaving. The captain comes on and says, well, since we got stuck the truck is going to go do another plane, but once it gets back, 10 minutes and we will be gone. Look out the window and see an American Eagle get deiced and leave, another American Eagle land, load, get deiced and leave. The captain comes on and says our truck got stuck, the truck we are seeing is not our truck, but it's coming. So the truck finally gets to us, 1 hour and 15 minutes later, we fly. No, they didn't offer free drinks, and they changed the $1 game to a $20 raffle for cash or free blue man tickets. Thanks, but I'll lose my money the correct way (buying $100 free drinks at the slots). After a few tirades from the captain about the deicing delay, we land an hour late, and find no cab line at 4 PM on a Friday night. Play cabbie roulette and get a guy who spoke English with some sort of accent, don't really know what it was, though we did ask 3 times. Pull into Caesars Palace, dump the bags at the bellman and stroll over to check in, noticing that it's 125 degrees inside the whole way, and find there is no line in the platinum check in queue and we get immediate service! I knew I gambled all that money for a reason! I had made the reservations via our host, and looked up our reservations online, to see that we had a Forum Tower reservation. We've never stayed in any tower there besides the Augustus or Palace towers, and I was actually pretty pumped to stay in the Forum, as the elevators dump right into the part of the casino I wanted to be in. So we give the guy our name and he says, you have a "classic" room reserved. My bad room smell-o-vision went into overdrive and I said we usually stay in the palace or augustus towers, and he says, I'll put you in the Palace. I then push my luck and say, how about one of those rooms with the two baths, and he gives me one of those! Score. So I pull out my wallet, and tip him a twenty. As we are walking away, my wife decides now is the time to remind me that I said the forum rooms were great rooms and how happy she was going to be in them. I reply I don't remember saying that. I didn't win (never do). Of course, she's happy with the two bathrooms, and I was looking forward to playing with the water fountain civilized people call a bidet later on that evening after a few cocktails. This was a trip of many firsts, and the first one was that my wife decided to unpack and hang everything up before going downstairs. I take this time to turn the air down to 65 and put it on high and kick myself for not bringing a pair of shorts. Must have been that snow storm back in Missouri not letting me think straight. Ann finally gets unpacked and we both find our lightest clothes to wear, and head down to the Casino. We head over to the forum part of the casino, I sit down at a goldfish machine that I had good luck on last November, and order a drink, Ann finds a super jackpot party and away we go. I should say that I've never seen a casino in LV as dead as this one was on a Friday night! So I manage to lose $100 as fast as you can say, managed to lose $100, and wander over to find Ann cashing out a ticket for $250. Not bad for a $20 buy in. We wander over to the Top $ machines, where I hit the bonus fast, and get $40 of it back. Ann loses 40 and we decide to go find my favorite waitress, as she gives good quick repeat service, and I was thirsty. Sit down at some new quick hit progressive and hit for $75, so I'm back to even. Our server comes by, we get hydrated x 2(in the short term), and wander over to the Palace casino (AKA the pole). Ann always tells me she wishes she could play $'s like I do, but she never can win very much. I never have bothered to tell her that I don't win either, I just figure she knows that and that this is her way of telling me to stop playing the pole. So I sit down at the pole (5 line 3x4x5x $ machine) and put in a hundred. A server comes by and I place my order, and start playing. The pole wasn't in a giving mood, or even a teasing mood, it just shafted me. So I put in another Hundred, this one goes better, hit one for 50, another for 25 and take a break (server came by). Ann had wandered off and played something, came back and said, I'm thinking it's time to start thinking about dinner, to which I replied "noodles". I'm all about the Noodles, and we had comps for two dishes. Ann heads up to the room with the menu and tells me to come on up when I'm ready and we will order. I head back over to the goldfish bank wishing there was a bit larger of a crowd as then it would look like I was walking around people instead of just not walking straight. Sit down at a goldfish machine on the aisle, put in $100 and watch it go to $50 real fast playing max bet. I push on, pushing the max bet button with one hand, holding onto a constantly refilled seven and seven with the other. The lady next to me ran her's up to $300 and I decided I could too. So I did, while watching her's go down to $100. Guess life really does balance itself! So she get's up, says don't lose your profit like I just did, to which I assure her I won't and continue to play. A few more drinks go by and I decide it's time to cash out at $325. Stagger by the Forum tower elevators thinking "If I lived there, I'd be home right now" and did the mall walk to the Palace elevator bank. Luckily, we were on the 17th floor, which is the floor that the upper level elevators stop at first, so I caught the express. Get to the room, and Ann has the security lock engaged, so I'm locked out. Knock, no answer. Call the cell phone, no service (hers). uh oh. I think, wonder where a house phone is, say to hell with it and start pounding on the door. Ann comes to the door and let's me in. Good thing to because those adult beverages wanted out. Ann's in her "I'm done for the night" clothes, so she orders Noodles. I head down to pick up our two free entrees and stop off in $ land. Lose a quick $50, bad pole, and go over to get the food. Little did I know that Ann got extra, but it was oh so good. Can't say enough good about the noodle joint. Go up, decide a before dinner skin peel in the shower is in order (the water pressure is to die for, or scream for depending on where it hits) and eat. Stay tuned for day two, where we go hob nob with the drunks at the Pallazzo and get real with the people of the IP.