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Hooker Air

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by booker, Mar 30, 2013.

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  1. booker

    booker VIP Whale

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    My Trip Report

    This TR is more about my recent, unique flight than it is about my trip.

    TR Part ~
    > Short, almost unplanned (for me) trip > I’ve not stayed downtown in 20 years > Main Street Station > Surprisingly enjoyable … not as in “Holy Hand Grenades ~ What a Joint!” … more like, “Comfortable, Kind of Cool, Kind of Classy” … all in a low key kind of way

    > Asked for quiet room and scored > Not fancy ~ Not bad ~ very suitable if unremarkable > Wish there were curtains, not shutters on the windows, but on the Booker Bitching Scale, that’s a magnitude of 2.5 … enough to notice but not earthshaking

    > Liked 777 Bar and beers > Liked Boar’s Head Bar > Good breakfast buffet at a good price > I generally liked downtown … Except …

    > I’m a tournament and 1/2 poker player and I disliked downtown’s meager poker offerings > Played Binion’s and Golden Nugget tournaments, 1/2 @ Golden Nugget, morning tournament at Harrah’s new poker digs (didn’t like it), and a few others I’ll not bore you with > No tournament cashes (I used to do so well in them!) > Slightly ahead on 1/2

    * Special note for AllVegasPoker (AVP) readers > The Duke is a real guy and real character … or perhaps he’s a real character playing a real guy > Being at his table was an unexpected highlight *

    > The downtown vibe has changed since I last stayed there, and for the better

    > Opinion … Cabs cost too much to/from the airport and to/from downtown and the strip > Busses are a good value and I would have extensively used them had I more time

    > Ate at Pasta Pirate one night > Good seafood pasta – Adequate salad – Perhaps the worst house wine I’ve ever experienced … but it was free, so I drank it

    > Met a former student of mine and her husband > What a treat! > In my mind she’s around 16 … somehow St. Paddy’s was her 31st birthday … how inconsiderate of her

    > Saw the new Ziplline construction under the canopy

    Hooker Air Part ~

    > Arrived at Portland International amid scads of college students > The Oregon State University Marching Band heading to the Pac 12 basketball tournament was on my flight > Traveling with the band were the Beaver cheerleaders (aptly named group) > These attractive young women were all dressed to flaunt their stuff ~ More hookerish than hookers > It seemed like their every act was constructed to garner attention ~ The more they paraded around … the more I disliked them

    > I was seated next to two young women who were slightly older than the cheerleaders > These ladies, a blond and a black woman, were dressed casually but attractively > I thought to myself, “Now those cheerleaders could learn a thing or two about class from these two.”

    > After take off I started reading my magazine > I heard the blond on the aisle seat say, “He wanted me to get into the safe. No way! There was SO MUCH (something) in it!” Sadly, due to my bad right ear and jet noise I could only catch snatches of conversation. (The following quotes are from the blond)

    > “I was NOT going to touch that safe …” “… when the cops came I was so glad that I didn’t touch that (Mo-F’er)!” “… when Pork Chop bailed me out…” “Pork Chop got his ass BEAT UP! Hahahahaha!”

    > The blond then takes out her iPhone and starts showing the black girl photos of her in lingerie … then in a bathing suit … then her birthday suit > My, but was she ever … um, robust (Note to self: need new glasses)

    > It is most difficult to read while riveted to your seat-mates’ shenanigans

    > The blond talked “ghetto” and was not able to put two sentences together without swearing > The black girl finally started talking

    > “Where you gonna dance?” “Foxy Lady?” (Blond mumbles something) “Man. They have a ridiculous tip-out!” (Blond mumbles something else) “They charge $80 to dance a shift!” “Those bitches there have issues, but I make bank.”

    > Old Uncle Booker was getting an education

    > Black girl eventually looks out the window past me and exclaimed, “There's home!” as Vegas was in the distance > They talk about where each is living and the blond says, “I will NOT go back to (somewhere) as it has huge (Mo-F’ing) rats!” > “Yeah,” says the black girl. “But there weren’t cockroaches.” > They then start looking out the window past me as the talked about rats and cockroaches

    > I have a couple of rat and cockroach stories myself, so I say, “I couldn’t help overhearing you talk about roaches and rats,” and proceeded tell a couple of my tales > They belly-laughed when I told them of my wife putting a plastic rat in the shower before I got in, and in retaliation how I rolled up a plastic cockroach in the TP before my wife used it > Blondie said, “I would have been so pissed!” Black girl said, “That’s GREAT!” > Then blond girl tells me (not in ghetto-speak), “If you’re ever out on the strip before dawn you can see some really big roaches. Step on them, and they squirt out these little white beads.” > My education continued > Black girl tells me she comes from Georgia where they can really grow some cockroaches > They both tell me stories of rats in Vegas

    > We were having quite the gab fest when the flight attendant informed us to get ready for landing

    > That was the shortest, most entertaining flight I have ever experienced

    > In the cab to MSS I called my wife to tell her the story > After the call the cab driver asked me if I got their numbers

    > I was so in Vegas
     
  2. alamode36

    alamode36 Tourist

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    Love

    this report
     
  3. br549

    br549 High-Roller

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    Damn good one. Never had a flight like that.
     
  4. aliasyoshi

    aliasyoshi Low-Roller

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  5. split10's?

    split10's? Low-Roller

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    Well played sir.
     
  6. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    Nice! Early March flew to Vegas with the Marquette woman's basketball team. Alas, good Jesuit University and all the girls fully clothed.:wink2:

    Coming back to MKE it was a girls golf team from somewhere in FL. Same result. I still can't imagine having to fly from Vegas to Milwaukee, then connect to get to Orlando.:nono:

    Can't wait for the next installment.
     
  7. breanna61

    breanna61 Super Moderator

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    Off to a good start with an anything but boring flight!:eek:
     
  8. booker

    booker VIP Whale

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    Thanks for the replies. My seat-mates told me that the previous flight they were on was really hot. "Where are you coming from?" I asked. They looked at each other like they were a little confused, the the black girls said, "Spokane." She looked at the blond and asked, "That was Spokane, right?"
     
  9. VegasVegan

    VegasVegan Tourist

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    Pictures or it didn't happen.
     
  10. vegasdrea

    vegasdrea Buckle Bunny

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    Those flights are called "Stripper Shuttles", you should see the flights from LA or SD on a Thursday or Friday to Vegas!

    That was too funny, too bad they didn't sit next to you on the way home!
     
  11. booker

    booker VIP Whale

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    Funny you should mention that. I surreptitiously took a shot of them at the baggage carousel as I knew someone would say "Pictures or it didn't happen." Seriously. I was too far away and it was blurry, so I dumped it. Nervously I tried to get closer, but wussed out.

    Of course, my buddies are also beating me up for not getting a photo.
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2013
  12. Marky147

    Marky147 VIP Whale

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    That was a great read, thanks for sharing!

    :evillaugh
     
  13. VegasSteven

    VegasSteven Low-Roller

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    You know it's going to be a good trip when the fun starts before you even hit the ground.

    Thanks for sharing your experiences. Enjoyed your trip report very much.
     
  14. robert m.

    robert m. High-Roller

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    FUNNY story!

    Can't even begin to match that, so I won't even try!

    Thanks!
     
  15. VegasVegan

    VegasVegan Tourist

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    Again, pictures or it didn't happen.

    This story sounds too made up so I am choosing not to believe it.
     
  16. Electroguy563

    Electroguy563 Vegas Joker

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    I believe it. Seen and heard similar antics like these while in Vegas. To the OP: Thanks for sharing. Great read!
     
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