I'm not a butthead, am I?

My wife and I, who have been Las Vegas at least 12 times, are going back in April, primarily for the Def Leppard concert at the Hard Rock. When we mentioned this to our friends, who have also been to Vegas many times, they said that sounded like fun and they wanted to join us. We are going from Sunday, 4/7/13, until Friday, 4/12/13, and the concert is Wednesday, 4/10/13.

My wife and I went over to their house the other day and helped them line up the flight and hotel. (I was glad that they did not reserve a room at our hotel, but they are right next door). While I like both of them very much, I don't want to spend every waking moment with them. At home we see them at most once every 2 weeks, usually it is once a month or even once every 2 months.

My vision of this trip is that both couples will occassionally do their own thing, but that we will talk or text during the day and see if the other couple wants to meet somewhere. My wife and I would not be offended if they did not want to do what we wanted, and we would be happy to meet them later or even the next day if they had something planned that didn't interest us. Except for the concert, we don't have anything else planned, but I expect we will meet for dinner once or twice and share a few beverages occassionally.

My son came over for dinner tonight and I told him about the upcoming trip and how I expected the two couples to not be joined at the hip. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said that if the four of us are going together, then it is expected that we will be doing most things together, if not everything. I think he is wrong, but he insisted that the other couple is probably under the assumption that they are going with us and that the 4 of us will be spending most of the time together.

I would agree with that if we were going with Vegas rookies, but this couple has been there plenty of times and knows their way around, and they know what they like and do not like.

Now, I will have the talk with them before we leave about how it is okay for us to have our own interests and do what each couple wants. For example, if my wife and I want to spend the afternoon at the pool and they want to go to Hoover Dam, I don't see anything wrong with telling them to have fun and asking them to let us know when they get back into town and maybe we can meet for dinner or drinks.

Just as a general rule of thumb, do you think I am being rude by assuming that we will not have to spent 18 hours a day together? Is my son right? If you travel with another couple are you obligated to spend most of your time with them?

If I am wrong, this could be a long trip. I like them for 3 or 4 hours every few weeks or even once a month. 18 hours a day for 4 full days is a bit much.

Whattya think? Am I being a butthead?

 

I don't think you are being rude at all.

 

You're not rude at all and your son is very very wrong. Just tell the couple before hand you plan on doing some things on your own. Like you said, they aren't Vegas virgins either, they will know what they wanna do as well. I wouldn't worry one bit about it.

 

I don't think so but this is just our opinion. The few times we have gone to Vegas that weren't family, we just tell them where we are going to be and at what time. If you want to join us-great, if not, no problem either.

I WILL NOT LET OTHER PEOPLE RUIN MY VACATION BECAUSE THEY CAN'T MAKE A DECISION.

OK, maybe sounds selfish, but it's a fact. Other people can ruin your vacation and after so many trips, I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I'll tell you what we are doing and if you want to join us -great-if not, no problem.

 

I'm assuming your son hasn't been to Vegas and doesn't understand how it is there. I'm betting the other couple is on the same page as you and prefers it that way. Your son is wrong, enjoy yourselves and your friends will do the same.

 

If anything ... THEY butted in on YOUR trip. Enjoy the concert together, go out for a drink, maybe have a couple meals together ... but politely explain that you and your wife have already made other plans together. Make a pre-trip itinerary of things you and your wife want to do, and stick to it.

Good luck ....

 

That's the way I'd expect to do Vegas with another couple. To be on the safe side, as suggested, tell the other couple that you have plans and will respect their wishes to do their own things.

I'm always amazed by people that travel in groups and stay together.

 

There were a number of years that we would not cruise with another couple because of an experience where our friends expected us all to be bound together for the entire time. We learned from that experience to set the parameters early. Perhaps your friends have the same expectations? I'd have an honest conversation with them in advance to make sure nobody is offended during the trip. Maybe approach it from their perspective like "are there a couple of evenings where you'd want to plan dinner together?"

 

Joe is correct here and unfortunately I was a victim of this about 3 years ago whilst on a Vegas trip with friends/aquantances...........Never again.

The problem here is that even with telling them where you will be and at what time they will probably go there and spend the night with you.

This is in fact the right thing to do but as per below I'm not sure you'd even be happy doing that as it seems you would be sending a false invite and hoping they don't turn up.

If I were you (just based on what you have said) I would make it crystal clear to them that you are going solo as a couple and will see them at the concert and maybe have pre/post drinks with them.

Ask them what they have booked/planned for the days in town and then follow up with your plans with a random comment of how you are both looking forward to spending time alone without any work, kids, stress etc etc that is applicable to your situation.

good Luck.

 

Make it clear in advance.
You are not rude.
Chances are they will thank you for setting the "rules' for them.

We have taken our adults kids, Gram, work friends all on separate trips. We take the lead in saying... How about we meet at xx time for drinks. Feel free to have breakfast/lunch wherever you want..etc.etc.

 

Your son is wrong. You have the right idea.

Vegas is many things to many different people. It's perfectly o.k. for people traveling together to have their own time to do things they like to do. Meeting up after a full day is a great time to share adventures and stories.

Talk to the couple you are going with and clarify how you all will do Vegas. If they don't like it well, too bad.....:Þ

 

Nothing wrong with your planning at all.

They have been to vegas before so they should know the drill.

I am sure this will already ne their thinking too.

 

I am guessing your son may be of that 20 something generation where everybody spends all their time together and then texts constantly if they are apart. Ignore him.

 

You are on the money. I recently went with a group of about 7 others.

We all stayed at different spots and we hooked up sometimes and many times not.

I like to do a lot of stuff but then I also may want to relax. What me and the missus want to do may not gel always with what others want to do.

Oh well.

They wanted to see O.
We didn't.
We all were going to Red Rock.
Well we couldn't make it at the time they were going.
We stayed on the strip.
Some of them didn't which factored heavily on "doing stuff".

On the strip, you walk out and bam, you're there. Some of them were at the Wyndham.

Oh well.

 

While you and your son each have valid opinions, mine would be somewhere down the middle.

It would depend a lot on what was said between you and the other couple when you first started talking about being there at the same time. We go to Vegas quite often with other couples and I would guess that we spend about half of our daytime/evenings together and that seems to work out pretty well for us.

What I would suggest at this point is to ask them what their plans are for when they get there. I’m sure after they answer that question, you will then be able to say what your preferences are without any hard feelings. I hope you all have a great time!

 

Thanks Joe. You and I share a similar view when it comes to vacations. I don't see anything wrong with saying something like, "We are going to Toby Keith's for lunch, wanna join us?" If they say no, that is fine with me, and I would try again later. But if the other couple wants sushi for lunch, and we want Toby Keith's, I don't feel the need to go with them just to be agreeable. Las Vegas is big enough and there are enough things to do that it should be easy for everyone to be able to find something they want to do.

 

You are absolutely correct, good job

My wife and I, as well as the other couple, are all close to 50, and my son is 25. I thought it might be a generational belief but I wasn't sure. You nailed it!

 

Nothing wrong with how you want to spend your vacation, however, your son is likely right that they might expect it, which lead you to the correct action to talk with them about it and share what your expectations are. I've found that sometimes it takes a couple trips to get on the same page as other people, but being open with them up front helps that a lot.

 

We have done this with a similarly related couple as you are planning. We too were lucky they were staying at another hotel than ours as it eliminated the awkward "run in" in the restaurants or casino. IF you want to share a meal with them I would go prior to the trip and state "We have a couple(?) of open dinner/lunch // afternoons // early evenings" whatever and do you want to hook up? This allows them to back out for their own experience or to accept but not "block" your time. It also infers your other times are booked with pre-planned activities.

I think saying something up front prevents the awkwardness when traveling as well as hard feelings resulting from the lack of "togetherness" if that is what they were expecting.

Have a great trip and write a trip report including the concert.

 

Your son is out of his frigging mind!. You planned the trip before anybody decided to ease their way in. You are not obligated to do anything with the other couple, especially if you did not invite them.
Make it clear before you leave that no one is expected to socialize every minute you are in Vegas.
One good way to mess up a Vegas trip is to go with other people.