Strangers asking for help.

Yesterday locally a stranger in a high rise parking lot walked up to us and asked if we had a phone charger. I instantly held up my hand and said no my daughter put away her cell phone in the event that things went further.
Lucky he just mumbled something and walked close to our car and leaned on another car. We both got in the car and quickly locked the door.

I was asking my daughter what if he really needed help, she said Mom who asks for a car charger in a parking lot? He could go to a business and ask to use the phone.

I always worry about strangers on vacation asking for help and believing the best in people I would probably have lended the person my phone, I just behaved different because I was with my child.

With that said, how do you handle strangers asking for something and is your guard always up?

 

It kind of depends...go with your gut. Two weeks ago someone asked me if I had jumper cables...I was visiting the prison at the time. But since they had two cars there with their hoods up and it was broad daylight, I just figured they really needed the cables. It became funny when I gave them to them and it was clear they had no idea how to use them. So I just did it for them.

But if something is telling you something is wrong, then it probably is.

 

Well said, thanks for putting that into perspective. And good for you helping them out!

 

I was on a suburban rail line about three weeks ago and this kind of scruffy looking man asked this woman if he could borrow her cell phone. She declined.

I felt no sense of danger and so I offered him the use of my cell phone. He did not know how to use it and had me dial the number. It turned out he just wanted to tell his brother what train he was on and when to pick him up.

Notwithstanding this ....

Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, it likely is wrong. My mom gave be the book, "Gift of Fear." It talks about how peeps can pick up all the warning signs but fail to act on them 'cause they are afraid of hurting someone's feelings or do not want to appear to look foolish. A good example is if you are in an elevator and two peeps walk in and they give off bad vibes. You should immediately walk off even if it embarrasses the peeps in the elevator or makes you look foolish.

Trust your instincts.

 

Wow - sounds like a great book. I will have to read it.

 

"peeps"? I haven't heard anybody use that word in years..never mind three times in one post.

 

I had to reread to see where you saw it three times.
I still use it so it did not stand out when I read it.

 

Gift of Fear is by Gavin de Becker - great book - makes a great gift for anyone in your life but especially young people who may not have their street smarts yet. Trust your instincts --words to live by!

 

You did the right thing.

What if you said yes you do have a changer and he was legit? were you supposed to stand there and wait for him to charge his phone?

I like to help people but i do it on my schedule, not theirs.

If someone asks for something the first response is always no. I might change my mind butu usually they are just out looking for my money anyway.

i do however give money to homeless people but only if they dont ask for it. i will go up to them.

 

I am typically very open to helping people, but also have a pretty rapid filtering system. A very common example of this is the gas station hit-me-up.

"Excuse me, Sir. I'm just trying to get a few bucks to get some gas to _____. "

"Certainly. Which car is yours? I'll take care of it for you."

If they thank me and bring the car over, I'll use my credit card, fill up their tank anywhere from 1/4 to all the way depending on how I feel about them, give 'em a "God bless you" and everyone is happy. I'm perfectly aware that some of them may just be loafers looking for some freebies, but that's okay. I have a clear heart regardless.

If, however, they tell me they want the cash instead, or have some stupid story about how their car is somewhere else and refuse my offer to fill up a can of gas and go deliver it to them, I simply tell them they're obviously unwilling or incapable of accepting the help I'm offering and to please move along and leave me alone.

 

This doesn't happen much in Wisconsin, at least not to me, but while living in Vegas this guy comes over and asked me for $3 to put gas in his car. Young guy in his~20s, has a girl and a baby in the car.
My radar goes off on all this type of stuff, especially in Vegas, but he moved me. I swiped my CC and told him to fill up. it was like Christmas morning for this guy and he got everything he wished for. Then the wife/girlfriend jumps out of car and is hugging me and crying and thanking me.
Maybe scammed, but it did go for gas only and I felt good that entire day.

 

Maybe it's age or experience...

But I never give anything to anyone. Not even those guys with the paint buckets who rattle them and ask for spare change for the homeless. I lived in New Orleans, which can have a very aggressive homeless population (at least in my personal experience) and if you were kind to one of them, you often got swarmed. After a homeless man who must've had some type of mental issue followed me for about two miles, loudly yelling what types of sexual acts he'd like to perform on me, my heart grew cold.

My parents routinely fall for these types of things, and my mom often calls me a heartless b****. She felt very sorry for the homeless in Vegas on several of our trips, and has wanted to feed them. When she saw people give them food, and the person promptly throw the food away, she changed her mind a little. Not enough though to not want to give them all money a few weeks ago.

 

What wonderful stories all the way around. Would love to hear more.
I do an occassional pass it forward and wish I could save the world but I am also fearful of what can happen.
I love the idea of filling up the gas tank. I am often asked for change for gas and I usually give a few dollars but I hate opening my purse, do I trust or do I not trust?
Again, wonderful stoires.

 

Classic scams

The guy in the mall parking lot who says he lost his wallet and needs a few bucks to get home(usually hits up seniors)The guy who hops on the train and says basically the same thing ,you give cash, he hops off,train leaves.
The so-called blind guy who walks around handing out cards asking for money.
The fake watch guy,the tools in the trunk of the car guy,the list goes on and on.

 

Pinny already mentioned the gas one. I have gotten that one alot. Homeless person that looks like they haven't showered in a year or owned a car in 15.


My Navy days I had a car and was begged to take a bunch of shippies to a bar in Memphis with the promise they'd pay for gas (I was broke). They blew their money at the bar and we had no way to get home. A guy in a gas station gave us $20 to get back to base. He said he was a former Navy guy and had been in my exact situation in his day.

 

Last year on Freemont Street I gave a nice older man in a wheelchair a cigarette. He asked me for one and I didn't think twice. The reason being is that I have seen this guy every year I go to Vegas wheel around on Freemont in his wheelchair so I knew he was for real. I even stood there and talked to him for about 10 minutes as he waited for the bus.

 

I'm with you Skadoo, too many scams plus I believe in helping those who help themselves. Looking for handouts isn't helping themselves. I also believe in trusting my gut and once in a while I feel moved ro help. I've seen the guy asking for gas money scam as well as nearly all the others. I'm even more reluctant to allow someone to aproach if I have my wife with me. It's easier to deal with a stuation gone bad when I don't have to worry about her.

Once while getting gas I got aproached by one of those guys in a place where that happens a lot. But I just had a feeling. He was asking for money for food so I told him "there is a Mcdonalds right here, if you'll wait for me over there I'll get you a burger as soon as I'm done. So he did, he went in with me and I let him order whatever he wanted. When I was leaving I saw him not only go outside and start eating it, but he shared it with his buddy to. I didn't think about it at the time but I should have gone back inside and ordered them a second meal.

Yet I still on most occasions refuse. Homeless are like cats, if you feed them they will just keep comming around :evillaugh

And don't get me started on those punks begging at intersections! They've even made it out to the suburbs around here. Too many stories about people with plenty of money doing it just because it was so lucrative combined with the "why lie I need a beer" sighn guys have really jaded me.

 

The worst was going to Harrah's Joliet. It's near the Will County Courthouse (you've seen it if you've watched Drew Petersen coverage) and of course the Will County Jail. I stopped at my nearby bank branch to hit up the ATM and some guy approached me for cash with some tale about just getting out of jail and needing money to take the nearby train to get to a suburb not serviced on that line. I realize that he could have intended to make a transfer somewhere on the line but it just pissed me off that he expected me to be empathetic to him for being in jail!

 

I have seen MANY people in Vegas digging in the ashtrays for butts to get a couple puffs off one. Grossest thing I have ever seen

 

Been there, done the gasoline one myself. I was filling up on a Friday afternoon in Houston and a woman in her 40's who was likely more in need of dental work than gasoline asked me for money to fill her tank. Like others, I swiped my credit card and filled their tank. She started to hint about filling the empty gas containers in the back, but I ignored that completely. I admit I was a bit guilted into it as I happen to be wearing a Shell branded shirt and was at a Shell station. Good PR and all that.....they were effusive with thanks and I did my good deed for the day. And no, I do not get my gasoline for free.

When we are in Vegas, DH loves to walk the strip in the morning for exercise.....I prefer to exercise the insides of my eye lids. Anyway, we have a lot of food comps at Casino Royale. He usually goes into CR, orders up 3 breakfast subs and gives them to homeless people--especially if they have pets.