It was the best of times, It was the...no it definitely was the BEST OF TIMES....

It was Tuesday, the beginning of the Madness and already the town was as busy as a 10 dollar hooker on a Saturday night when the fleet's in town.....

I always wanted to start a report sounding like Mickey Spillane!! Anyhow it all started for me on Tuesday at 4:30 am. Off to the airport and no problems with America West. It was a full and uneventful flight to Phoenix. Thank goodness for Walkmans, tunes and good books! I had a 4 hour layover in Phoenix and had arranged to hook up with a friend of mine who lived in town. Made the call when I landed and in no time he was there. He asked me what I was in the mood for lunch and I told him to surprise me. He took me to a small joint near ASU called Harlows and had a darn good Taco salad. A few drinks, some good conversation and all too soon it was time to be back in the air. I had a window seat although I hardly used it as my seatmate was the totally smoking, very friendly woman who was on her way to represent the family tile business at Con/Agg. The hour flew by as we chatted. Oh why oh why couldn't she have been on the leg from Hartford?? We land and I get my first small score of the trip - my checked bag was like the third one the baggage train. Mikey had called me using Dawn's phone just when I had landed and we arranged to meet at GC at around 3:30 - 4:00. I was quickly out the door and into the LV sunshine for about 30 seconds. That's how long it took for the Dollar Van to show up. Another nice little score - no long wait for the shuttle. We were at the Dollar lot in no time at all and being a fastlane member, all I had to do was tell the driver. He pointed me in the direction of the full sized cars and told me to pick one and go. BTW, besides the drivers there was no one was around. I had planned all along to attempt to score a free upgrade and had a 20 ready to try it. I flagged a driver down and asked him nicely who I could talk to about possibly upgrading to a 300M. He smiled and told me to choose whatever I liked and even pointed out a nice Crossfire. Since I was planning on driving people arouond, I chose the Dodge Magnum instead. SWEEEEETTTTT!!!! That thing sure do got a Hemi!!! I tried to tip the guy a 20 but he wouldn't take it. I threw my luggage in the back and took off, promptly getting somewhat lost. I had intended to hit I15 but ended up on Tropicana instead. No problem. Turned onto the strip and then onto Flamingo and finally over to GC. I walked in to find Mikey waiting for me into the lobby. Have you ever run into someone that as soon as you met them it is like you've been friends forever? Well that was how I felt when I met Mikey. I Love You, Man!!! We quickly got me checked in and my bags up to the room. Then it was down to the lounge for a few brews and to shoot the breeze. Anyway that's the story we're giving to the press. Actually we were there for the Ultimate Fighting Championships - Senior Tag Team Underground Division. Mikey and I were slated for a caged match against Wicked Wally and his walker of death and his partner Prunilla, Hag Queen of the Desert. Smack was talked up until Wally's oxygen started to give out and they had to forfeit. Disappointed and with adrenaline pumping, we split and headed for the tables. BAM!!!!! We were down and out before we knew it! It was nothing but set the point, put down odds and immediately seven out. Chagrined, we headed for the blackjack tables. The best that we could say was that we were able to drink heavily for free. Mikey was severely down and I had scrapped my way to be up about 10 bucks. I had 2 beds in the room and as Mike was to meet Dawn early the next day, I told him to grab the spare bed. We headed out to the Valet and jumped into the ghetto sled so that Mikey could grab a change of clothes and we were back in no time. We hit the tables again with the same result. BTW, Mikey and I were the youngest patrons there by about 20 years! Instead of a parking lot out back, they should put in a cemetary! Now we were getting hungry and we decided to eat at a restaurant there called The Cortez. It was a good choice! Remember that picture of Derrick and the slab of Brontosaurus in Mike's report from last year? After dinner we crashed until the sun came up way too soon. We grabbed the buffet for breakfast to soak up more alcohol and headed to the airport to pick up CK and her husband. Had I known that Becky had decided to pack every stitch of clothing she owned for this trip along with a shoe store's entire inventory, I would have rented a Semi! The Hemi performed admirably and easily attained warp 7 on the I15. Gee, for all the talk of riding Speed etc., Becky and John looked kinda green when I pulled into the MSS Valet just like Jimmy Johnson pulling into the pits at the LV raceway. While they checked in, I signed up for their plpayer's club and hit the VP machines for a bit. They came down from setting up their new shoe store, I mean dropping off their luggage and since they were starving, we decided to head to Ellis Island. We made the mistake of taking Paradise and ran into the Con/Ag debacle. That was fine as it gave Mikey and I time to get hungry again. For the record, I only bottomed out once pulling into EI! Lunch was huge and delicious. The rootbeer there is AWESOME!! All too soon it was time to go as I had to check into the Rio and Mike had to meet Dawn. The room at the Rio was very nice and big but the bed was like sleeping on a slab of concrete! I rested a bit and showered up in order to go have THE BEST MEAL OF MY LIFE!!! I had reservations at Commander's Palace at the Aladdin for my host and myself. Words cannot do justice to the dinner we had. We decided to have the Tasting menu paired with wine. 7 courses paired with 7 different wines. It was truly phenomenal. 4 waiters continually yet unobtrusively hovered around us taking care of our every need. Loni, my host, was awed and delighted to try foods she never would have on her own. The conversation was witty and intelligent and Loni wowed me with some Vegas stories! Dinner lasted from 7 until 11:30 although it felt like only an hour had passed. We dined on "Peeky Toe" crab, Foi Gras gumbo, Frog legs, Crawfish Etouffet, Hawaiian Snapper, a cheese course and a dessert trio of tropical fruits and Passionfruit Curd. I capped dinner off with a very fine snifter of Martel Cordon Bleu. Just to let you know, it wasn't cheap. Dinner with tip, before and after dinner drinks came to 400.00. It was worth every red cent. Then it was back to the Rio where I played for a couple of hours on a nickel slot putting points on my card, sucking down Jim Beam and cokes and then off to bed. Gee, It's Thursday already! I got up around noonish to a madhouse at the Rio. I grabbed a sandwich, hit some VP for a couple of good hits and then off to downtown to meet the gang. I knew I was going to be taking the advice of my attorney and drink heavily so I cabbed it down. I met CK, Jer and Dr Al for some early gaming before MSS. We strode over and met the whole gang. We all had a great time smiling, patting each other on the back, playin' with the pencils on the group W bench...ooops, wrong story! We drank some great brews, met some great people and ate some very good appetizers. We then headed out for a group slam on a craps table. As usual, I got spanked. Over with Jer and Kikky to a blackjack table where I continued to pull my usual 13's and 16's against the dealer 10's. The crowd at the craps table had dissipated and I called Eric to find out where everybody was - The Gate for Shrimp of course!! I was there in a flash! Had the ever so famous shrimp cocktail and a beer. CK and Jer showed up and along with Doctor Al, it was time for at least some of us to crawl along Fremont! With very little arm twisting (applied by yours truly, I believe), the 4 of us boarded the grain train at Le Bayou. Suitably fortified, we tackled Fremont daring it to bring on its worst. To tell you the truth, it was pretty tame especially since it was St. Patrick's Day. There was a semi-decent band playing and everyone was having fun. We drifted in and out of the casinos looking for tables, sucking down the grain until we found ourselves at the El Cortez. What can I say about the El Co??? I loved it! I swear the pit boss used to be a madam in Qe San back in '68 before catching a chopper with some of her ladies for the land of gold! CK and Doc hit the craps while Jer and I headed for the lone blackjack table dealt by the madam's former number 1 girl. We had fun giving them near heart attacks by placing 15 dollar bets until we decided we were sufficiently drunk enough to be hungry. We stumbled over to the cafe in the El Co for something resembling food. The Doc blanched at this and decided to go for a walk. After waiting what seemed to be interminable eons (in reality 10 minutes) the decision to go to peppermills was made (a drunken cab ride?? BRILLIANT). We found our way out and back down Fremont where we found Doctor Al deep in research for what must be his next doctorate. Like all great researchers, Al had disguised himself as a local so well we almost missed him! He performed the ritual of giving to the trash can gods flawlessly and was immediately accepted by the group. Alas, I had to lose the pictures as the local shaman thought I was stealing their souls (ok, I was too drunk to remember to save it!!!). We followed Al for a bit as he continued his research back to the Golden Gate where we crossed and grabbed a cab. Peppermill was disappointing. I was seriously bummed to see the hood of the infamous fireplace to be ringed by small plasma screens which totally destroyed that wonder look of Old Vegas. The rest was done in neon diner chic and the food was ho-hum. I had Munch's breakfast and the stuff underneath was ice cold. We ate and stumbled out to grab a cab. Jer told me to crash at his place and I readily agreed. Jer, You are a Great Guy!!! We had to go over to the Riv to catch a cab. In their casino, I dropped a 20 into a penny slot and pulled out 50.00 in like 2 minutes. The trip back was uneventful and it was off to bed. Jer was lucky - he only heard the 9:30 housekeeping call. I got the 7:30 am one! At this point, sleep wouldn't return and my mouth felt and tasted like a Dragon's latrine. Jer was still asleep so I quietly left around 8:30. I lucked out cab-wise as 2 guys were also going to the Rio and I shared a cab with them. They also paid for it. Thanks!! After drinking a gallon of water and mouthwash, I hit the slab-o-concrete for a few hours torture, I mean sleep. Friday already. CK woke me to let me know about the 11:00 webcam walk and I powered up the dilithium crystals and teleported back downtown (WTF, wasn't I just here?!?!?!?). I met Jer, Ter, CK, Al and Steve B for the walk. While waiting for 11, we watched this guy running down the street with a cooler. Seconds later 2 ambulances went screaming by in the opposite direction. We wondered which T2V member was just now waking up in a tub full of ice missing a kidney (well, our livers would be useless) and if we found it, could Eric stitch it back in. We sauntered over to the LVC and found an open table. I proceeded to have my usual luck and Terry decided it was a good time for us to try many, many different variations of drinks made from Vodka. Here I am, drunk again, naturally. Time was drawing near for the Voodoo meet so I flew back uptown, dressed myself up and headed to the Voodoo to meet everybody yet again for some more debauchery. The lounge wasn't open yet so I waited for people to show up. Eric and his buds showed just when the lounge was opening only to be told that it was closed for a private party but that the cafe was open. Jack/Eric went upstairs with his friends and I waited for people to show to let them know that the lounge was closed but the cafe was open. As people showed, it was decided to go over to Bambeleo for happy hour. Good choice! Mikey's pics show a bit of the buffoonery that went on. We bowed to the Queen Beach, Angy, and met her lovely friend Cyndi (gee you're tall!! or more appropriately, Shit, I'm short!!!!!). Tammy (3 Cats) also showed and it was great to meet her. Terry proceeded to get a drink named for him at the bar and we proceeded to drink several. Eric and his buds left for dinner and shortly thereafter, so did Mikey and his buds taking Angy and Cyndi in tow. Those of us left - the Magnificent Seven (Me, Tammy, Blackjack Ron, Neon Leon, LV Terry, Becky and Vegas Jer) decided to grab a limo and head for the sign. Alas, that was not to be as the driver wanted a 3 hour minimum rental to do that. We opted to limo down to Jer's suite for imbibing copious amounts of alcohol. And yes I was glowing in the dark. A lady friend of mine had given me some "lucky" glitter to put on before gambling and I decided that the limo was a good place to smear it on my face and arms. Don't ask me why!!!! I was drunk, dammit!!!!!! Anyway, it gave LV Terry plenty of fodder to keep us all in stitches. Tammy provided plenty of entertainment as well. I swear, I haven't laughed this much during this trip in I don't know how many years!!! "Mutha's" seal was cracked and "Shots" (more like pints) were drunk in salutation. Much drunken laughter was to be had along with plenty of drunken psychotherapy (Neon, dump the cell when you're on vacation!! ). Ron disappeared for a while only to come back with 2 girls in tow and rounds of "The Terry" for everybody. We enticed the girls to drink a shot of Patron which they gladly did. At some point pizzas were ordered. While waiting for food; Ter, Jer and Neon split to play poker while Ron ended up passed out in the spare bedroom. The pizza showed, I paid, and we ate like a slice or 2. We headed downstairs which is how we found that the guys were playing poker. CK stayed to watch and Tammy and I hit the slots. Tammy hit the Betty Boop pennies for $260.00. I had fun but didn't win. Since Tammy had left her car at the Rio, we decided to cab it back. We ended up playing more slots having fun, drinking and talking. Tammy you are one GREAT Lady and Jim is one lucky man!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish we could have spent more time together over the weekend. I stumbled back to the room, nearly breaking my jaw as it hit the mattress. Holy Cannoli, it's Saturday!! I pretty much had decided that I was going to spend the day in bed and call room service when Blackjack Ron and Angy called telling me to head over to the Mirage and meet them for drinks. What better for a hangover than that hair o' the dog! I met Ron, his buds, Joe and Brian and Angy and Cyndi at the Ava Bar watching the games. Magically, the hangover disappeared. Tammy and Neon joined us at some point. After several beers, the girls wanted to play some blackjack but there were no decent tables at the Mirage. I suggested the Barbary Coast and the decision was made. We took a look outside to find, gasp!!!!, it's raining! Tammy and Neon had already left to walk over (Tammy had an umbrella) but as I had my car I convinced the others we should take it. After all, the girls could sit on the guys laps! While waiting for the girls to get ready, it stopped raining (good!!). We still piled in the car for the short ride over and of course hijinks had to happen. At the lights Cyndi would roll down the window flirting with any guy in the car next to us while Ron acted as the jealous husband. We were laughing our asses off as the victims would creep up through the light trying to get away. We found a table and, as usual, got my typical 13 thru 16 draws. Mikey showed up and we were having a good time. The girls were feeling absolutely no pain as the night wore on. I had finally lost enough that the pit boss took pity on me and gave me a comp for dinner for two. Cyndi was starving so I took her to dinner. While we were eating, I get a call from Angy. She had gotten thrown out of the BC. I'll let others describe the incident as I wasn't there. Cyndi and I hightailed it out of the restaurant to go find her. We ran into Mikey who grabbed his car to join in the search. While getting into the car, we get another call. She has been asked to leave the Carnival Court. Ooooookaaayyyy. Cyndi kept her on the phone while we hightailed it onto the strip to find her. We held up traffic a bit in front of Harrahs looking for her until I absolutely had to move. We went back to the Mirage as Angy said that is were she now was. She was found and eventually all was well. No sleep that night as I didn't get back to the Rio until 7 am.
Sunday. I made it to my room and as I had to check out, called the front desk to see about a late checkout. They gave me to 12. Thanks! I had hoped to get some sleep but every time I fell asleep, the cell would ring. If I had a functioning brain, I would have turned it off . Sunny Sunday. I got up around 10:30, showered, shaved and headed down to check out. I played enough there for them to comp me 30 bucks off of my room. I then drove downtown to check into the Days Inn. It's across the street from the El Co. I should'a stayed there!! They checked me in early and I then headed back over to the Mirage to grab a bite at the Carnigie Deli and to see if Ron and his buds were up for watching the games. I ran into them while waiting in line and they were talking about going out to GVR. That sounded good to me and as I had a car, I would save them a boatload in cab fare. I had such a huge Corned Beef sandwich (yes it's as good as NYC - I guess they're shipping their beef from there) that I couldn't finish it. Ron, Joe and Brian showed and after placing bets at the sportsbook and watching the end of the NASCAR race, we headed for GVR. This is a very nice place!!! I'd love to stay there sometime with a significant other (hey, I can dream, can't I??) as it's a beautiful resort. The sports bar was great and we caught a few of the games. I singed up for a card and hit some VP for a 80.00 profit. We left there around 4:30 for the BC meet. Oh, I forgot!!!! Ken had mailed me the book from the Save Mikey auction and I had brought it along for him to sign. Mike came up with the Brilliant Idea of having everyone sign it. Thank you all!!!!!!! There we met up with Bosco, Sanofre Larry and Typhinie along with most of the crew - Neon and Terry where were you guys?? Typh is a definite cutie and a little bundle of energy. Killer had set up a surprise for Doctor_Al specifically and for the rest of us. A round of Watermelon Martinis. The Doc's was served in a very special glass. Sonya had also sent a round for us through Mikey. THANK YOU!!! Several drinks later it was time to lose more money at BC's tables and lose I did!! Oh well, nothing like being drunk and making stupid bets! LMAO. Ron, Brian, Joe and Eric all left to catch their flights home leaving Mikey, Eddie B, Doc_Al, myself, Angy and Cyndi. Notice throughout this looong report there is no mention of the international contingent of the group - that crazy canuck, RossW. After meeting Ross back on Thursday, he disappeared. I don't know, maybe he had trouble with the conversion charts that came with the directions to the various meets or the shock that a ten dollar bet was like a hundred Canadian. Ross FINALLY decided to hang with us on Sunday. We were all hungry and Mikey yet again made the brilliant call to head for the Grand Luxe at the Venetian. As you could see, we had a great time. From there we cabbed to the New Frontier. Wouldn't you know that by this time, the week had finally caught up with me and I was crashing hard. So were Angy and Cyndi. We said our goodbyes to Mikey and Al who were playing craps and we cabbed it back to the Mirage where we said our goodbyes. I carefully drove back downtown and crashed. Groan!!! Monday! Time to go home. Got up and was glad to see the car still there. Showered, etc. and headed out around 9. My flight wasn't until 2 but I wanted to be there early. I filled the tank which cost me all of 10 bucks and dropped the car off. Good thing I left early as the airport was a madhouse. It took 45 minutes to check in and then upstairs where I went to Don Alesandros for Huevos Rancheros and laugh at the crowds. I enjoyed a leisurely breakfast and took my place in the security line. The flights home were quasi-uneventful and I landed back in Hartford at 11:00. The only hitch was the flight out of Phoenix. A young kid was flying alone. He had been in Phoenix apparently visiting his Aunt for the week and he really, really didn't want to go home. He refused to buckle his seatbelt and was screaming that he wanted to stay. The stews kept telling him he couldn't stay as his aunt was already gone. "No she isn't. She works here!!!" Turns out she works for AW and was on duty. She finally got him to buckle up and we were off. I came home to 40 degree temps. Not too bad. Today here was beautiful. Of course that means that we now have a winter weather alert in affect for Wednesday and they're talking 6 - 8 inches of snow ..............................CANABROTHAGETSUMVEGAS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!


OVERALL:

It was an awesome time meeting everyone. I had more fun than I ever thought I could have. 26 years were peeled back and I was 21 again. It felt like we've all known each other for years.

2nd trip solo and I've STILL have yet to be hit on by a Hooker!!!!!!

 

Bill,
Let me be the 1st to say "I love you man"... OK, I said it a few times over the last few days to you & Mikey but now it's over and it will go down as one of my best trips thanks to you & others who organized this mayhem. You're a great guy & man did we have some fun or what??? Sorry about the pizza bill. All I remember is waking up in an empty suite, hungry and dehydrated (I blame Mutha), and 3 large pizzas staring at me . I thanked God at the time but apparently it was you who deserved my gratitude. It was a beautiful thing. Unfortunately, there are a few things about that evening that I do remember that I'd rather not ... More on that later.

Thanks again Bill for the great times!!!

[ March 22, 2005, 10:43 PM: Message edited by: blackjack ]

 

Bill, the pleasure was all mine!

We had a good time didn't we? just wished I could have stayed longer for the Saturday and Sunday night stuff...

Next time!

 

Oh Shit, you do remember the thong incident...

Oops. He hehe

 

could you tell me more about where that happy hour place is? and are there more bars that offer this around ?

 

You certainly packed it in, Bill. Had a blast with you. I wish I had spent a bit more time with the T2V crowd, but you know how it is when you have your other group with you...

Anyway, good TR, good time- see ya next time. And you looked better in Angy's bra than I did.

 

Thanks for sharing I enjoyed reading it - Everyone sounds like a great bunch to hang out with. I can't wait for my turn~!

 

OK... That might be one of them . That was alot of fun Becky, & oh yea - thanks for the mutha shot from mutha. Nothing like a drunk man throwing down a triple shot of Patron. You're a tough crowd to keep up with. It's amazing that I didn't get sick once on this trip, however, my liver needs some serious rehab.

 

I hear you on the rehab Ron.... but I can't claim responsibility for the size of the "shot" poured from Mutha. If I recall correctly (and I admit that I may not at all) you opened that monster bottle, but Terry was the one responsible for pouring. So we have ourselves to blame for allowing him to do that. I do distinctly recall you & I having a nice (normal sized) shot of Patron at the bar at Rio, with the classic combination of salt, tequila, and lime. That was nice.

 

I believe you are correct. I opened it & then passed it off to Terry. It's all a blur after that . The shot at Rio was very good. I was in trouble when I switched from beer to the "Terry". Throw in some Patron and I was one happy traveler.

 

Sounds like everyone had a great time. Great reporting Bill. Thanks.

 

Wait....
1. I bought Mutha
2. Ron opened Mutha
3. Terry poured mutant sized shots from Mutha

Folks, I think this is a 3-way tie of blame to go around!

No, wait again!
4. We ALL drank the mutant sized shots we were given without asking questions and without objections (other than perhaps "holy shiat! look at the size of that....." swig)

Blame absolved. Everyone look in the mirror for their own personal culprit!

 

Now there is a threeway story that no one is writing about??? Wait a minute lets hear all about it... Great report Bill, I wish I was there to join in on the trip not the three-way that is...

 

With all the threeways and temp tattoo drawings going on, I felt like the prop/cameraman on a bad porn shoot!!

 

Dang Bill, that was a drunken marathon I thought that the buildup to MM2 was a little overhyped but as the TRs trickle in it looks like everyone was true to their word.

With each trip report a little more info slips out and before long we should get a clearer picture of other hedonistic activities that went on

Thanks for the report and get some rest.

 

I hate to tell ya man, when you're with a bunch of beautiful women, the hookers tend to stay away, which isn't always a bad thing

Great trip report man. Now, I really wish my secret plan to collect on the "surprise appearance" bet on myself had worked out.

 

Yeah, but if there woulda been any professionals out working the Gold Coast on Tuesday night, they would've approached us. I mean, Me and Rambill--a couple of fat drunk guys in Hawaiian shirts, tossing around red chips like they were beads at Mardi Gras? Now there's a couple of easy marks...

Unfortunately, the only proposition we got was from the old man in the lounge asking if we wanted an ass-whoopin'.

Good report Bill!

Mikey

 

Perhaps he was "Prunilla's" pimp and was pissed that you all didn't pony up for her services.

 

It really sounds like you had a great trip! It was GREAT to meet you and I'm sad I didn't get to stay at the BC longer to get to know all of you a little better...

 

"playing with the pencils on the group W bench..." Nice.

I should'a given you a call on Saturday... then again, maybe that was the kind of trouble I didn't need...

Absolutely great hanging with you, dude.