A quickie in Sin City...

I left SLC after spending the morning and lotsa money on kids clothes. It seems as though my wife collects her trip tax from me prior to me taking off. I had to travel through her 2 shopping meccas to get to the SLC airport, and I paid a heavy price. She dropped me off and hour and a half before the flight on Thursday evening. I had preprinted my boarding pass at SWA online and the terminal was empty. I called her from the gate before she had left airport property. Just having an "A" boarding pass doesn't mean you will be one of the first on the plane. 45 minutes before flight time, people were queing up in the "A" line. The plane had not even landed yet! I stayed up untill 12:01 am for the coveted pass, and now I am 16th in line. It wasn't all bad, I took the aisle seat in the third row. A fine looking femme occupied the window seat and nobody claimed the middle seat. All good after all. Southwest pilots have been the authors of some of the WORST landings I have ever been part of. This one went well, and I was out of the plane minutes after landing. I had no checked bags, so directly to the Thrifty shuttle. A Chrysler Sebring was reserved at a whopping 14.99 a day. My blue Chip membership allowed me to skip the lines and head directly to the cars. The driver reminded me that the car is in the 'full size' row. All I could see in that row was Dodge Neon's and mini vans. I asked an employee in the lot, and was told they were all out. I opted for the Chrysler Town and Country for 3 reasons. (1) We rented one in Seattle a year or so ago, and the van hauled ass. Very quick and comfy. (2) Mini vans are one of the highest priced vehicles, so the best bargain at 14.99 a day. (3) And the best reason, it had stow and go seating, providing a huge dance floor for ANY midget hookers I may encounter. Checkout was a breeze, after they corrected the rate I was paying. Tax is REDICULOUS on rentals, something near 30% a day. Who cares! I am in Vegas without family or any responsibility. Let the buffoonery begin! The whole idea was enforced with a text message from LV Terry " Two words: ALL IN!"

I took the tunnel and made my way to I-15 and exited at the Casino Center exit. While approaching the off ramp, I wondered how to get to the Fremont parking garage. While stopped at the light, the answer was obvious. It was about 100 yards ahead on the left. I pulled into the valet slip, and and got out with my backpack. Valet man asked if their was any other bags or people. I said no, and that the the rental place only had red Porsche's, and I ALWAYS get tickets when driving them. So I opted for the undercover mini van. His tip was reduced by 50% due to the comment...

Check in was a snap with nobody in line. 3 minutes later, I was making my way to the Players Club Gold desk for my $15 in free food and 2 free movie vouchers. I have to say, I had only played about 2 hands of Pai Gow here in my entire life, and the offer was good for three trips in 3 months with the same extras and upto 4 free nights. Not bad at all.

Time to check out room 1024. Elevator to the 10th floor, and the room was right there. It was a rather small room with a not worth a crap air conditioner. The view was of the side of Binion's. Thats ok, I didn't plan on looking out the windows too much. I got my stuff in order and headed to the casino.

I felt that I would have to justify the offer with some table time. I played for and hour and was up $600 at the Pai gow table. Now that I had some 'free' operating cash, it was time to explore. I made my way upto the Las Vegas Club for some of the worlds best single deck blackjack. There were 3 guys at the table and I slid into 3rd base. Bought in for $100 and played $25 a hand. First hand was a pair of kings. I was already counting my chickens when the dealer pulled a 5 from her nether regions to accentuate her J 6 starting cards. Oh well I will double up on the next hand seeing as though no aces hit the table on the first round. She collected the cards, and put them in the shuffler. WHAT!?!? One trip through the single deck with a table of 4 players? I asked and she said yes. I reduced my bet to $25, seeing as they could have been playing with half a deck for as far as they were penetrating. This is horrid. I knew the dealer was wrong so I asked the pit boss. He says people were complaining because some dealers were running out of cards mid deal. Seems as though the BEST blackjack in Vegas was through. I quickly played through my money and left. Not only did they ruin the BJ, Mai was nowhere to be found. LVC has sunk in status, in my opinion.

I decided to head over to the Nugget to check out the poker room. I spent some time roaming the casino to see if cameras were rolling (not) or to see if I recognized Tim or Tom pitching blackjack or pitching customers. It was not to be. I found the poker room. IT IS HUGE!! 10 to 12 regular tables in the main area, and 10 more in the tournament area. I signed up for 2-4 and 4-8, and there were a few names already on the list. I figured I hadn't eaten in 12 hours, so off to the Golden Gate for some vittles.

It's midnight, and people are lined up waiting for food. While in line, I thought of a few ways to improve service and shorten the wait. It wasn't a difficult task, seeing as monkey shit fights at the zoo have better organization. The one thing they do to cut wait time is to pre-make the shrimp cocktails. Well, a good idea except that while they are getting warm, the shrimp take on the flavor of bilge water from a Hong Kong freighter. I asked for a cocktail with sauce on the bottom. That seemed to do the trick as the shrimp meister had to create it new for me. That, a bowl of beef stew, and a coke was just what I needed before playing cards.

I made my way to the GN poker room, and got a seat at a 2-4 table. A little lower stakes than I like to play, but at least I was playing. After quite a few hands of nothing, and watching the others play, I finally found some paint in my pockets. 10 J offsuit. Who cares, I am playing. Flop comes A Q K rainbow. I flopped the nuts. I was about 5th to act, and there had already been a bet and a raise infromnt of me. I called, and nobody folded all the way around. The turn brought a deuce with 2 spades. It gets checked to me and I bet 4. The guy next to me raised. 3 people drop out and I call. The river brought the second ace. I am first to bet and all but one drop out. I get raised. I reraise, and get reraised again. It hit me that he could have a full house, so I just called. He showed 2 pair A's and K's. I showed the straight that I had flopped. I gladly raked the hundred plus dollar pot, and played through my blinds and left. Time for bed.

I woke up at 8 am hoping to play the tourney at Mandaly Bay. I called their poker room and they were sold out. So I set my sights on the Fremont breakfast buffet. Its a $6 charge, which I used my food vouchers, that makes it free. Good thing, because I would not have ever paid for what I got. I thought it was difficult to screw up a breakfast buffet, but they found a way. Everthing was dried out. I managed to drop a fork full of scrambled eggs on my shirt. They did not even leave a mark. The portguese sausage wat terrible. The fruit was fairly decent as was the bacon. I got in line for a custom omelette. The chef was outgoing and trying to have fun even though 90% of the customers spoke no english. They also didn't tip. I tipped him a $5 for a mushroom and cheese omelette. His eyes got big, and I thanked him for making the only edible food in the entire buffett. I was a fine creation, by the way.

It was getting close to 9, and the sign up for the GN tourney started at 10. I decided to play 3-5-7 poker as I had never played it before. And the pai gow table was not open yet. I bought in for a benjamin and left 45 minutes later with $140. I made my way the the poker room and sat down waiting for the sign up to begin. A manager asked what I needed, and I told him I was waiting for the sign up. He showed me where it was already going on. The buy in was $33 with rebuys and an add on option at the first hour break. I drew my seating assignment and joined a 4-8 table to kill time until post time. Nothing remakable in that play, and I was down about 15 bucks from chasing a flush. I had A (s) K(d) and three spades hit the flop. I couldn't get the 4th to fall, and that accounted for the loss.

Finally it's tourney time. There has been so many people signed up, we are playing 11 at a table. Luckily, our 11the didn't show up until way late. I won and lost a few hands in the first hour, and took the first add on prior to the game even starting. They called a 20 minute break at the first hour mark. Some folks ate, or just walked around. Not me. I headed for the Caribbean Stud table and told the dealer I wanted to play just a few hands while on break from the poker tournament. He gave me a goofy look and held up a sign indicating he was deaf. He used American sign language to communicate. Seeing as I only know 'hello' and 'yuck fou' in sign language, we did the best we could to communicate. It was a decent run and the dealer was a swell guy. I was impressed with his ability to communicate and the Nuggets fortitude to employ him. I tipped him 2 red chips and made my way back to the poker room.

At this point I am in for $53. This is also a bounty game. They guy next to me put the first player out and collected 5 bucks cash. You win $5 for every player you send from the game. But the guy that put out the first guy was worth a $25 bounty. By the end of the day, I had collected 20.00 in bounties. I bought the add on at the first break, giving me 6900 in chips. Far from the leader, but in a respectable position. They posted the numbers after the rebuys were done. 119 players, and they will pay 11 places. 11th get 99 bucks, and the winner got a little over 2500 bucks. Now I was getting no cards, and the 500/1000 blinds were getting the best of my pile. We were down to 16 players, and I at least wanted in the money for my 4.5 hour time investment. I peeked at the pockets to see A Q off. The guy in front of me raised it from 1G to 2G. I had considered respecting his raise, but he played the part too well. His personal stash of water and snacks, headphones on listening to whatever, and the requisite crappy gold jewelry. I decided to go all in for three thousand total. Everybody folds and he says "I have to call, I am already in for 2G". Then he turns over 4 5 offsuit, and says, "good bet". OH HELL YES!! Busted this guy hard! Well, the flop comes 2 3 6, and I am out of the game at 16th, with no winnings... It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail. - Mark Twain in Eruption

During the tourney, they had been announcing satellite games for the big $235 no limit hold 'em tourney at 7 that evening. That sounded like something I wanted to do. As soon as they got 10, they would start the game. I was debating, and the hawker kept repeating that they only needed one more player to get started. I told them I was in, but they had to wait for me to go pee. The john was about a half mile down the hall that was packed with folks arriving for their weekend in Vegas. One of the other players pointed out a door right next to our table. He said there was a potty just through that door. The door had a huge sign the read AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY, so I asked to be sure it was OK. He said if you gotta go, you are authorized. The funniest part was the exact same sign was on both sides. The bathrooms were those used by guests at the pool.

So I bought into the tourney for $60. Top 2 players get a seat at the tourney that evening, and the winner also gets $50 cash. It was a lively group at the table and we all decided to toss an extra 10 spot into a side pot. Winner take all. There were some great players and some remarkable plays. All in all a good table. I rimmed out at third. Not just at that table, but at 2 more. I was tempted to play a fourth, but that just didn't make sense. That would have put me at $240 to play 4 satellites, and could have bought into the big game for 235.00. So I played a little 4-8 while waiting for Tammy to show up for some adult beverages.

The 4-8 table was a great mix of fruits and nuts, with a few decent players. I had been playing for almost 12 hours, and am not sure where I fall in that description. There was an old codger at the table playing 20 bucks at a time. I was mucking everything and playing tight. The codger showed 2 pairs, 5 and 9, out of position to win the pot. That's it. I am playing the next hand no matter what. 2 4 of clubs. There was A K 4 on the flop. It only cost me 4 bucks to see another card. Turn brings the deuce and there is only three players. The codger, me and another. Check around to me and I bet. 2 more calls, and the river is a 4. Codger bets, third player folds, and I raise, putting codger all in. He shows a pair of aces with a 9 kicker. I turn over the boat and codger starts getting pist, wondering how I could play a 2 4 for cash. I said " you just picked up a pot with 2 pair out of position". He replied he was low on chips and had to make a move. "I told him he was now out of chips,and to dig into his wallet and pry out another 20 so I could afford the big drinks in a little while." Man did I push his buttons. He was tilted so bad that he picked a fight with the dealer. Many flops had contained Aces and Kings, sometimes paired up. He asked the dealer if he was shuffling. The dealer said he shuffled the exact same between each hand as it was policy. Codger suggested that he take a deck home and practice in his time off. Dealer stated that there are mnay card rooms and that maybe he should go visit another one. Codger replied with a threat to "reach across the table and smack the F*CK out of him". Immediately the dealer was tapped out, and the dealer offered the codger a tour of the pool area, because he was now 'out of the box'. For the first time in nearly half an hour, old codger was silent. The room manager came over and gave codger 2 options. Shut up and play nice or get out. He shut up.

I knew it was time to excuse myself, and my phone was ringing. It was Tammy telling me she was at the Nugget and wondering where to meet me. Very clearly and loudly for the entire table to hear, I said "I am playing this last hand, and to meet me at the poker room". I played the last hand. I was dealt pocket queens. Codger is in with a few others. Flop come A Q Q. I flopped quads and codger was betting into me. Everybody bailed and codger was all in. He showed A K, and I slowly rolled my 4 Q's. That vein in his forehead was quivering and the red hue was creeping form under his shirt, up his neck, through his face, and I assume it stopped at the top of his head. I stood up, watched rags on the turn and the river, and scraped and stacked my winnings. After a couple of real dirty looks, I told codger we would be enjoying a few yard longs thanks to him. He asked why I was leaving, to which I told him I had plans. He explained that I should give him a chance at getting his money back, as it was proper etiquette. Sorry, my evening is starting now. He got really mad, and I explained that if he would have bought in for more tha 20 at a time, I would be having steak, too. I cashed in and got a $10 food comp from the manager. I asked if he knew his dealer was not lying, and he said yes. I explained our little run in, and he wanted to throw him out. I told the manager he was the human ATM, and he would be doing the table a favor if he let him be. Besides he was suffering from terminal tilt and wouldn't last much longer. I normally don't talk crap at a poker table, but this guy was wearing on my last nerve.

Tammy and I headed to the Chicago Brewing Company located in the Four Queens. I felt that was a good idea given my last hand of cards. I bought her a couple of margartas, and got myself a few fruity not much alcohol drinks. We chatted and had a grand old time. I was winding down and my flight was early the next morning. We headed over to the Fremont in search of the penny something or other slots. We couldn't find them anywhere, and asked a change person. She said they didn't exist. We checked a little more and Tammy found them near the front of the casino. We were chatting and I watched her play for quite a while. She moved over one machine and I started playing the machine she left. Man, a penny machine sure cranks up the credits when you put 20 in. This machines bonus was free spins that didn't count against your credits. At one point I was up 26 bucks, but kept playing and talking. No need to cash out later, as I had ran my credits down to nothing playing 90 per spin.

Tammy was heading towards the Nugget to get her car, and I went with her. Once again, I had not eaten since breakfast, and had a food comp burning a hole in my pocket. I went to the snack bar. Chicken strips, fries, macaroni salad and a two pepsi's came to 9.75. I tipped the cook and cashier and headed out. Ahh crap! I had not honored my kids souvenir requests yet. I headed to the junk shop on the corner with the neon sign guy. I can't remember his name for the life of me. 4 decks of cards, 3 short leash deals with Las Vegas on them, and a Las Vegas caribeaner(sp) for my oldest sons back pack. 10 bucks, and out the door. I headed back to the room and ate in slightly warm conditions. Packed my bag, and set my portable alarm and phone to go off at 5:30 am. I thought it would be nice to eat before my 8 am flight. Did you know that I can set my cell phone and use it as an alarm clock? Really, I can! I dozed without even turning the TV off. I rolled over and looked at my watch, it was 6:15 am. Oh shite, I overslept. The alarms never went off so I guess I had too many drinks prior to setting them. Oh well...

I retrieved my party mobile from the valet and headed to the airport. I used the kiosk to check in since I had no bags to check. Once again, I was fairly early with an A boarding pass. Luckily, LAS has chairs lined up where the A line is. I was third in line and managed a window seat with a younger kid maintaining the aisle seat. I landed to find my wife and youngest boy waiting for me by the baggage claim. The vacation was over, but we still had a day in SLC with the boys before we had to drive back to Idaho. I told wifey a few stories, but she seemed disinterested. That obviously means I will be buying her something rediculous that she found while I was gone.

Toughts..

The Nugget poker room is all that and a bag of chips. They will spread any game you request and there is at least one, and ocassionaly 3 cocktail hotties delivering liquids.
LVC has made themselves undistinguishable from the pack.
Binion's craps minimums were $10 on Friday night, leading to me calling them the Horseshit.
GN had a $5 table going on friday night in the craps pit.
My car rental was $46.10, and I think that was cheaper than cab fare from LAS to downtown and back.
Fremont rooms are OK for 1 person.
Penny slots are actually fun, although each spin cost me 90 cents.
The surge of poker has lead some casinos to employ dealers that are not qualified.
The food at the shrimp bar in the Golden Gate is tough to beat for quality and value.

[ August 08, 2004, 01:08 PM: Message edited by: bazootch ]

 

Brilliant....

 

Very Nice!

Well done, sir.

Poker and drinkin'--what a great trip.

Mikey

 

Wow, I guess you were lucky old guy did not shoot a few daggers out of his eyes at you! Quads are a thing of beauty but when you bust the jerk at the table it is HEAVEN! What a report...

 

Thanks for the great report Bazootch. It has definitely prompted me to try out the poker room at the GN in September.

 

Barrick is not looking so good. I love how when management cuts off a good deal, they say it's about solving "customer complaints". Aside from that, nothing like a downtown TR to brighten my day, good post.

 

bazootch,
Nice trip report!

Question... Does your wife accompany you to Vegas excursions ever? I ask because you say she was disinterested in your details... My wife isn't the biggest fan of Vegas so just curious is somebody else is in the same boat.

Me: fanatic
Her: so so

 

She does go with me quite often, but we expect different things from the experience. She is confident that when I go solo, we will be eating ramen for a few months just so we can catch up...

 

I have a feeling Hurricane Mikey will be highly sought after when he gets out to Vegas!

Thanks for the trip report.....I enjoyed reading all of your poker excursions Bazootch!!

 

I don't know how long it'll take me to be 'qualified' to be a poker dealer, but I'll certainly give it a shot. (I've been known to miss a hand or two )

I know one thing for sure--once I'm standing *behind* the table, I'm gonna win a helluva lot more hands of blackjack than I normally do.

Mikey

 

By the way...

I gotta nominate Dougie for the 'Best Title of a Trip Report' Award for 2004.

Mikey

 

I concur with the nomination. If Paradise poker is any indication. I suck at poker! I mean I am really bad. Big ups to my man Baz for suckering in a trick when he flopped quads! I probably would've started doing the "cabbage patch" or the "running man". Or some other early 90's dance. Only because I haven't watched MTV in a long time. At heart I am a very old and spiteful man who is yelling at all of the kids "get off of my lawn!" When they are across the street.


Time for a drink!

 

Did I not Specifically tell you not to make any codgers in the card room cry?!

You are uncoachable.

I've decided that you require direct supervision.

heeheehee