Long overdue Trip Report-March Madness (3/24-29) DAY ONE

THE ARRIVAL AND DAY ONE:

The thinking was to stay someplace cheap and mid strip. I wanted Barbary Coast, but Casino Royale had some really good rates and each guy had a roommate, which really cut the cost.

Now bear in mind, this is Monkeyman’s first time in Vegas. We get to the Royale, and we’re waiting to check in. Monkeyman is looking around. I wink at the guys and I yell at him, “Hey, rookie!! Get me a MF’ing beer, you little bitch, and be quick about it.†The other guys look away.

Monkey: But it’s only 9 in the morning

Me: [blank stare]

Monkey: You’re going to start drinking before breakfast?

Me: [blank stare]

Monkeyman: Man, you’re out of control! Man we’re in Vegas!! Yeah!! Drinking in the morning! I’m gonna stay drunk ALL day!……I still haven’t gotten you a beer yet, have I?â€

Me: [I look over at some of the guys with a “what an idiot look, then look back at Monkey]

Monkey: And you’re the quizmaster…and…..I’ll be right back.

The rest of the guys busted out laughing.

We can’t check in right away, so they hold our bags and I show the guys the wonder that is the Royale. We all vow to try and not gamble the first day or two to conserve our money. I walk the boys over to the Venetian. None of them had been before. They were suitably impressed. I truly love walking trough the canal area. They all had some grub at the food court in the back, despite my pleading with them to try the Grand Lux. (I had beer and smokes. I’m a growing boy. I need my nutrients)

This would become a recurrent theme in our trip. Me suggesting what I felt were nice places to eat with food a cut above. (why settle for mediocrity? Oh, yeah, I was staying at the Royale! Lol!) Them settling for McDonalds, Denny’s and the…gulp…Flamingo buffet.

After eating, it’s back to the Royale. Within 10 minutes, Sweaty and the Mechanic are bellied up to a craps table, which is surprisingly busy. Monkeyman and I look longingly at an empty roulette table. The only one open is full. So we sit down at an empty one with this older dude with a cowboy hat on. I say “Hey Tex, howsitgoing?†(Don’t ya love that? I saw a cowboy hat and called him ‘Tex’. Am I clever or what? )Tex tells us that he’s been trying to get people to sit with him to see if maybe they’ll open a table. Tex then proceeds to regale us with tales of feats of gambling finesse he’s been witness to. (Apparently Tex didn’t take notes, cause he ended up taking it in the shorts when we finally got to play.)

So they finally open the table up, after the host/Pitboss/whatever, an Omorosa from the Apprentice clone, tells the dealer to get the F outta her way, she’s trying to set up his table, she’s got stuff to do. We all gave the dealer sympathetic looks. You could tell he was biting his lip. Poor guy. He ended up being really nice. Now I’m not a roulette guy. I’ve always considered it the worst way to lose your money, Monkeyman shares with me his system. Put a stack of chips on two of the three groupings of numbers, one stack on red or black and five individual bets on actual numbers. Meanwhile, he starts freaking out. He can’t believe he’s getting Crown and Cokes for playing Roulette at a 50 cents a chip table. ( He’s been to the riverboats near home.)

Jehovah stands over us and watches. He doesn’t gamble. He came for the partying. I tell Jehovah to pick a color. He says black. I put my chips on red. I hit. He then reminds me that Wesley Snipes says always bet black. I bet red again. I hit. He then starts picking colors back and forth. Whatever he says, I pick the opposite. It actually starts to get kinda funny. Two girls come sit down and they start laughing at us. I then asked Jehovah to start picking a number, but just one. Whatever he picked, I took the other two sections that didn’t contain that number. Bottom line? We sat there for 2 hours, I won 200 bucks on a $3 table. I quickly ran the dealer outta my color chips, then started breaking into his bigger chip stash.

Oh, yeah. Monkeyman didn’t do too badly, but not as well as I. Why do we call him Monkeyman? Cause when he gets excited, he waves his hands and arms above his head like a monkey. Well, there was some arm flailing that morning. Rest of the morning and early afternoon, we took a tour of the cream of the crop…IP, O’Sheas, Barbary Coast, Flamingo. I kept fresh beers in my hand the whole trip, as Monkeyman and Sweaty kept ordering drinks…and doing shots. We kept telling them that this is Vegas and you gotta pace yourself.

So we get to our rooms, all next to each other, which was very cool, and everyone decides to chill for a few hours and meet later for dinner. The rooms at Royale were pretty much like IP. Tiny little TV that’s not even on a swivel. A fridge with nothing in it, so you can keep liquor in there…and that’s about it. As barebones as barebones can be. (and for some reason, my bed and my roommates had plastic sheets under the bedsheet. I found that out in the middle of the night as I tossed around and woke to the sound of Zip…..Zip. For our purposes, the room was perfect: 60 seconds walking and you’re down in the casino.

I go swimming by myself in their pool, which is like 10 feet in diameter and 150 feet deep…and warm as mother’s milk. Ah well.

I get back to the room a little over and hour later and lay in bed and watch TV with Jehovah, my roomie. Meanwhile, no one’s seen Monkeyman and Sweaty for hours. They aren’t answering their cells. Finally, The Mechanic gets ahold of them. They’re across the street at the Mirage. He says he’s going to get them.

I shoulda gone, too.

Apparently, Dan and The Mechanic found them at the craps table, drunk as hell, screaming and cussing as they rake in the money. Sweaty had a big pile of chips. Mechanic watched for just a few minutes, saw the crazy bets he was making, and asked if he could cash in just this many chips and Sweaty could play with the rest, so he didn’t jeopardize his winnings. I guess Sweaty started to loudly argue and Dan managed to reason with him. Good thing. He was up a little over three hundred!! As Mechanic and Dan came back from the cashier, they see Sweaty arguing with the Pit Boss and pointing his finger in his face.

Rot-roh!!

So they get thrown out for profanity and being just a tad outta control.

They get back to Royale and we all decide to go get dinner. I make another stab at Grand Lux, then Chin-Chins over at NYNY. (I tell EVERYONE to try Chin-Chins for some truly fresh Chinese food. I LOVE that place. I jokingly call it the best kept secret in Vegas.) Somehow it’s decided we’ll go to the buffet at the Flamingo. Wha??? --sigh—

So, we decide to meet in 15 minutes in the casino. Little did we know, the drunken twins did an about face and went immediately down to the casino and started gambling again. How did we know? Cause we all got down there about the same time, just in time to see….you guessed it, Sweaty was in an argument with the Pit Boss with two security guards rushing his way!! DAMN!! Long story short, I managed to sweet talk them into us getting him outta there, pronto, as he called the Pit Boss names on his way out the door. Way to screw with our home base, you dork!

We realize he needs food, so we start hoofing it to Flamingo. Along the way, we walk by the outdoor party area by Harrah’s. Suddenly, Sweaty got fixated on a glass sculpture at one of the booths. As he walked by it, he lurched, reached…..and knocked it over. Monkeyman, despite being drunk managed to catch it as it hit the cement…a millisecond to slow. The very tip of the sculpture broke. Jehovah and Monkeyman gave the sculpture back to the vendor (and told him they didn’t know who Sweaty was and apologized for not being able to catch it. Lame, I know.)

We got to Flamingo, sat down to eat…and no Sweaty. –sigh-- He somehow got confused (imagine that) and couldn’t find his way back to the table. Waitress bring a pitcher of coke for the table. He picks the whole thing up and starts drinking from it. (Of course I took a pic with my camera phone.) The he drops a piece of fried chicken on the floor, climbs under the table, brings it back up, dusts it off in front of us….the starts eating it.

Almost everyone complained about the food: watery clam chowder with really tiny potatoes and minimal clams, soupy mashed potatoes, mushy pasta. I don’t know why we went there.

Eventually Sweaty yakked, started feeling less belligerent and then just started acting sleepy. Meanwhile, Jehovah had been quietly pounding drinks all day and was quiet a bit tipsy himself. It was unreal. We put everyone to bed and planned on going to the mudwrestling at Gilley’s at 10:00.

So for the next two hours or so, I laid on bed, along with Jehovah and we watched…..What a Girl Wants. It was kinda funny. We both didn’t say much until about a third way through.

Jehovah: I gotta tell you something.

Me: What?

Jehovah: It’s kinda embarrassing.

E: What??????

Jehovah: I LOVE this movie! That girl is SooOOOO cute. And the movie’s so sweet. Can you believe we’re in Vegas, Sin City, and we’re lying here watching a teen movie?

So, anyways, we end up going to Gilley’s around 9:30…and find a line snaking all the way through the casino. Way too long. And the line is filled with a ton of youngsters, guys AND gals equally. The Frontier casino has this kind of creepy, sad vibe to it. Kind of the same way I felt about the Stardust. We decide it’s been a long day and head back to Royale.

Jehovah and I end up sitting up for hours talking. After realizing that we’ve been up almost 23 we call it a nite.

END OF DAY ONE-

FLAMINGO FOOD: I’ve either had bad food or bad service there. (Check my prior trip reports) My opinion? Stay away from Lindey’s and the Buffet.

CASINO ROYALE: Really small. GREAT location that makes up for the lack of any frills whatsoever. I think guys could stand it a lot better than girls.

FRONTIER: An odd feeling casino/hotel. Old and dingy, but not in a good way, like downtown.

DRINKING: Watch your Vegas newbies!

Coming tomorrow: Day Two….Things get a lot better!!

[ April 28, 2004, 08:31 AM: Message edited by: farkingidiot ]

 

This is great.

Can't wait for your next posting!

 

"He can’t believe he’s getting Crown and Cokes ..."

That's ok, he probably wasn't.
Esp. at the CR, don't know what they brought me last time but it was not drinkable.

Good story so far. Kind of hope I'm not the guy bargaining with security for custody of my friend in May.

 

I'm a girl, and I always thought I'd like to try Casino Royale. Like the idea of the short trip to casino and strip.
I always wondered if they had a pool. Thanks for the info.(fridge is a bonus, my hubby always keeps beer in our room)

Lynne

 

Rule #1 with my group...
No babysitting!


I once ordered a magratita on the rock at Royale. The girl handed me a glass of something. Still don't have a clue what it was. Um....Miller Lite please.

 

Good stuff. Can't wait to read the rest.