12/15-12/18 The Punk'd and Propositioned Tour

For those of you that remember my last TR I had told my wife that I knew a way to “Jack†limo service at the airport. I had her believing that we had “Jack’d†a limo until we got to baggage claim with the driver following us; at that point, I told her that I had rented the limo a few days before we had left for Vegas.
Fast forward to November; we had booked our flight, hotel, and limo and were looking forward to another great trip. A good friend of ours who used to be a integral part of our Vegas trips in the past but had not been to Vegas in several years said he’d like to go with us but didn’t think he could afford it. My wife said “You can stay in our room with us. That way all you have to do is pay for a flight.†Needless to say he booked on the same flight as us. We had our “Mark†for our version of Punk’d. During the weeks leading up to the trip my wife casually dropped lines about how I believed I could steal limo service from the airport once we landed. Yes, after having this little trick pulled on her she crossed completely over to the dark side and was a willing participant in this little game. I love her even more after seeing this side of her.

Our trip to SeaTac was uneventful. We used curbside check in for SWA which made everything move much faster. We stopped of f at a Mexican place for some preflight drinks and food; and, then it was time to board.

The Flight​

We got the third row from the front of the plane (score) and then settled down for the flight. The pilot come over the intercom and says “It looks like because of the jet stream we’ll be in Vegas about 20 minutes ahead of schedule (double score). We were taxing down the runway with dreams of jackpots, royal flushes and 21s going off in our heads when we hear this voice….the voice of the dream smasher…the pilot,†We seem to have a computer glitch. I’m sure it’s nothing, but, any of you that have experienced Microsoft know what I mean. I’m going to try and reboot and see if that doesn’t fix the problem. We’ll be heading back to the terminal where our maintenance people will meet us. This shouldn’t take too long and we’ll be on our way. Here at Southwest we take your safety seriously.†Bill Gates you evil B@#$ard. You’ve screwed with me at work, at home, and now with my vacation some day you will pay for this. Three and a half hours later we are on our way to Mecca.

Punk’d​

Thirty minutes before we land my wife goes to the bathroom and I lean over to D and say, “I’m going to “Jack†a limo for us. I’m going to look for a driver who’s not from one of the casinos and approach them and confirm I’m the person on their sign, then, I’ll tell them that I’ve changed hotels that we’re staying at Harrah‘s.†D looked at me and said. “Okay, I’m taking a taxi.†We landed at the main terminal and it was deserted. It reminded me of the airport in the book Langoliers by Steven King. It was eerie. There were no people and no sounds that you would associate with McCarran. As we were walking to baggage claim my wife was working on D telling him that I was primed to “Jack†a limo. I saw our limo driver and to my luck he had the name sign down by his side. I walked up and introduced myself. My wife and D were still 10-15 feet behind me. I turned and the limo driver walked with me over to my wife and D. I looked at D and said, “We’ve got our limo.†At that point D looked like a deer caught in the oncoming headlights of a semi. Frozen, not knowing what to do next, I knew what was slowly going through his brain. “What the F I’m going to be spending my first time in Vegas in two years in jail. I’m screwed, what do I do?â€. At this point both my wife and I told him that we had rented the limo weeks ago and that this was just a little surprise for him. After some colorful commentary from D and a few drinks in the limo we were happily on our way to Harrah’s.

Lights, Sounds & Ho Slapped​

We stepped out of the limo and into Harrah’s and we were immediately engulfed in the sights and sounds that are the Vegas strip….slot machines, cocktail waitresses, and all the lights of the casino. I don’t care what Walt Disney says “This is the happiest place in the world.“. My wife and I went to check in and after giving the girl our credit card and players card she asked if we’d like to upgrade to a suite for 50.00. Now, the room was partially comped it only cost us 97.00 and under different circumstances I would have taken them up on the offer, but, there was three of us. My wife, however, was thinking differently. Her eyes lit up like she had just hit a jackpot on her first spin. I was shaking my head no and having the scene from “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles†running through my head. You know the scene. The one where Steve Martin and John Candy wake up in bed together holding each other and John asks Steve where his other hand is and he says “Between two soft pillows.“ and John says “Those aren’t pillows.†Well, I think the fear on my face caught my wife’s attention and reluctantly she turned the suite down. We got a room in the Carnival Tower on the 20th floor. The room was clean and comfortable with no view but we were only going to be there one night so I really didn’t care. We head down to the casino to partake in some gambling and “free†drinks. After 3 or 4 drinks and no love from the machines we decide we’re hungry and head over to BK for some quick food. While eating we decide to go over to Planet Ho and the ABC store for a bottle of Jack. Now, I don’t like Planet Ho, I’ve felt no love from them the few times I’ve been in there. This time was no different. My wife signs up for their Ho Card and gets 10.00 in “free†play if she puts in 20.00 and only on certain machines. She finds a machine she wants to play and settles in. Thirty minutes go by and no sign of a cocktail waitress. After about 40 minutes she asks me if I’d go to the bar and get her a drink. Like a good husband I dutifully nod my head and shuffle off toward the bar. Ten minutes waiting at the bar for the bartender to stop chatting up a girl and wander over to see what I wanted did not improve my disposition toward Planet Ho. I order a Jack and Coke and he gives it to me and says 10.00. I’ve been Ho Slapped. That’s it. I’m now totally throught with Planet Ho. I make it back to my wife who’s been able to make her initial 20.00 last an hour. Finally a cocktail waitress shows up; my wife orders a Jack and Coke and I order a Jack and Grapefruit. She finally loses the 20 and the “free†10 and we head over to ABC to purchase alcohol.

The Move, the Buffet, and Propositioned​

Sunday morning rolls around and it’s time for us to move to Bally’s. We would have stayed at Bally’s the whole time but they didn’t have Saturday open so we stayed at Harrah’s. We check in and my wife asks for one of their remodeled rooms. It won’t be available until 2 or 3. No problem, we have reservations at the Sterling Brunch for noon and we still had some gambling to do. My wife finds her favorite machine Gold fish and I wander around until I find the Seahawk game on at Gustafs Bar and sit down to watch part of the game and play some VP. Well, 20.00 and five drinks later it’s halftime and time to find my wife and head over to the buffet. We’ve eaten at the Sterling Brunch 3 times previously and know what to expect. The price had increased to 75.00 per person and they may be better deals in Vegas for a champagne brunch but this still impresses me. We finally stumble out and head to pick up our room keys about 2:20. Once in the room I promply pass out in the chair. I wake up an hour or so later to see who I think is a security guard telling my wife and D how to set the thermostat. I slip back into my drunken slumber and sleep another hour. Around six we clean up and head down to the casino. My wife’s favorite casino is Paris because she always wins there so that’s where we go. After about 30 minutes I leave my wife and head out on my own.
I sit down at a BJ table and start playing after about 40 minutes I’m even again and I decide to leave. I just wasn’t feeling it. I don’t usually play table games but the people looked like they were having fun so I decided to take a seat. After BJ I played a little VP and then decided to head on over to the wife and see how she was doing. As I’m about 30 yards from my wife a blonde sitting at a machine asks me how I’m doing. “Excellent†I reply. She then asks me “Are you staying here?â€. “No, I’m staying at Bally’s.â€. She then says “How’d you like to party?†“No thanks, I don’t think my wife would appreciate that.†and I continue to walk. Life is short but there’s no sense in making it shorter than it has to be. I see how the wife is doing and tell her I’m going to the room to get the camera and take a few pictures. I head over to the Bellagio via the walkway and as I get to the entrance of the Bellagio by FIX a very attractive African-American girl probably in her early 20’s or late teens asks me if I’m staying here. I say “Yes†because after all I am staying in Vegas, just not the Bellagio. She then asks me if I would like some company. I tell her no that I am happily married and intend to stay that way. While walking through the Bellagio I begin to wonder if D has placed a sign on my back that says “Lonely, Desperate, Old Rich White Guy. Please Apply.â€

Last Day Gambling and Going Home​

The last full day in Vegas my wife and I usually gamble together. We put 20 in a machine and if we hit we play until we’re up 10 or more or until were down 10 then we’ll cash out and move to another machine. Every time my wife would put 20 we would win; anywhere from 10 to 100 dollars. When it came my turn to put 20 in we would loose. Hey, we had fun and after all that’s why we come to Vegas. We don’t expect to get rich but we do expect to have as much fun as we can. After a few hours of gambling we got hungry and decided to eat at Le Burger Brassier at Paris. We were impressed. Very nice burgers and large, and the price was reasonable. We had a 20% off coupon that we got when we checked into Bally’s so for three of us it only came to about 30.00. We will definitely eat there again. Well, before you know it it’s time to head back home. We loved our winter escape to Vegas even if it was a little cooler than normal it was still warmer than where we were headed back to. We didn’t win any money. But, we didn’t loose everything we took with us either. Sorry about not making the meets at Trader Vic’s or Carnival Court but time just seemed to fly. I apologize for the length of this TR it seems to be longer than our trip was, but, I hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed the trip.

 

That's a lotta Jack there, g.

Next time hope you make more Jack...

 

Nice write up

 

Nice TR, thanks.

 

LMAO..."the voice of the dream smasher"...that was too funny Thanks for the write up, glad you had a good time!

 

You are so money!

 

nice TR man. very well written.

 

Loved how you tricked your friend...his face must have been priceless

Loved the TR and it seems like you guys had a great time!

 

"....placed a sign on my back that says “Lonely, Desperate, Old Rich White Guy. Please Apply.â€"

I'm going to have to remember to do that to one of my friends next time I'm out there.

Thanks for the report. Sounds like a great time!

 

Don't you already own one? :evillaugh

Oh wait, the Rich part isn't true

 

Damnit Sandra! I hate it when you're right.....

 

Thanks everyone for the responses to my little TR. As far as the sign goes I'm not rich either but I just didn't think I would have gotten the interest from the "working" girls if I didn't appear to have a little money. Now you have something else to add to MM. A sign to be placed on the back of an unsuspecting, drunk MM attendy. You could place wagers as to how many times they're approached. Just a thought.

 

Nice report. My father in law was propositioned on our last trip, same line they used on you, but my mother in law was right around the corner and the "lady" moved on quickly. So many people say they play spot the hooker, but the way some people dress, how can you tell?

 

Why did you have to tell us that the second girl was African American. Did it add to the story ? Did you think that you would be more credible. YOu didnt tell us the race of the blonde so why did you have to on the second girl. You could have said her hair color as well.......or did you want to point out that she was African American....hhhmmmmmmmmmm?

 

loveshed, you asked an interesting question. I've never been approached by "working girls" in Vegas before; and, the ones I've seen in action have all been white. It just surprised me. As for just saying the first girl was blonde and not mentioning race, I did a little survey here at work. I asked a group of my coworkers of different ethnicity what race they thought someone was if I said they had blonde hair. They all said white. So, that being said, I thought it was a given when I said blonde that people would know she was white; obviously, I stand corrected.

 

Well G thanks for that I do appreciate your candor. I do have to admit that I did enjoy your trip report as well as the advise that I have seen you give on the board and thanks for it. Hopefully you will give me a nugget for my trip in Feb. because you can never know to much.