And we're back...

We had one case of Monster, one case of water, one giant bag of trail mix, one fifth of Absolut 100, 1 handle of Skyy, one fifth of Bacardi, one handle of Smirnoff, 12 cans of soda, 3 liters of cranberry juice, 2 liters of orange juice, 2 awesome T-shirts, one bottle of tylenol, one bottle of Pepto, an hour and 14 minute long Daft Punk Alive 2007 mp3, 2 Ipods, and one can of Arizona Iced Tea...not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious vegas collection, the tendency is to push it as far as it will go.


My buddy and I decided to go to Vegas for not one, not two, but three girls who had birthdays! All on different days, Fri-Sat-Sun. They got a huge 1100 sq foot suite at the Luxor.

Three of us guys left SoCal about 11:30 Friday morning and hit just a bit of traffic. It probably took us about half an hour more than we planned, but as long as we get there, it's all good. We dropped off T at the Luxor and headed for the Flamingo. J and I carried our heavy, heavy bags all the way to registration. We lucked out and got a young male clerk and did the old $20 trick. He told us he could give us a suite if we didn't mind walking a bit more. Score!

Ok, walking ended up being a little much. We were the very last room on the floor. I still have healing abrasions on my shoulders from the bags. We got into the room and set up with liquor, mixers, and hanging clothes. J decided to iron his shirt and got his shirt ruined in the process. The iron smeared something black all over his shirt and left it with a rust stain. We had to get security to come take pictures and file a claim. We took his shirt and one of mine to be laundered and pressed with a promise that they would be ready by morning. Well, there goes his shirt for the night I will just skip ahead now and say that they didn't give us our shirts back until checkout time. Bad, bad Flamingo.

We did some pre-drinking and got ready. The girls were all going out to dinner together so the guys hit up Carnival Court for drinking. We did some wandering and found some dollar beers. We had to meet the girls at 9:30 across the street at pure so we pounded our drinks and staggered over. Bottle service for 12 people! We got in the line, and then moved to the other "line," while the birthday girl got ahold of the host. We were the second group in I guess it helps that most of the girls we were with are pretty. We ended up with four bottles and the total bill was something like $2k. We took a lot of pictures but didn't do too much dancing. I wasn't that enamored by the club, but it was fun nonetheless. A few of us ended up on the rooftop dancing for the last part of the night and I wandered back alone to the hotel room. J had brought one of the girls back to the room where she promptly.........passed out. I got back to the room after the long walk from the elevator only to find that my key did not freakin work. So I had to go all the way back down to get a new key because Drunk and Drunker did not hear me pound on the door. I get all the way downstairs and am at first refused a key because my name is not on the room. I (almost politely) point out that my NAME IS ON THE CREDIT CARD THE ROOM IS RESERVED WITH AND THAT I CHECKED IN WITH MY BUDDY EARLIER, PUT MY NAME ON THE ROOM, AND SIGNED THE BILL Finally she gets a manager to remove her head from her ___ and give me a key. I go back to the room and.....THE KEY DOES NOT WORK Luckily J hears me pounding on the door this time and lets me in.

I wake up to this girl talking about me at 7am. She pretty much refused to let me sleep for the next few hours. I told her in various creative ways how I wanted to take her life every few minutes. It was a blast when she decided to open the blinds and let the morning light FLOOD the room. My friend at the Cheesecake Factory calls me and tells me to come get food (she's a waitress.) I wasn't feeling like going until I remember it was only across the street. After eating we met with the guys at Blondie's in the Planet Hollywood mall. They have 120oz beer tubs for $30. We got (and drank) 2 of those between about 5-6 people.

Almost forgot, we made T-shirts for the trip....Vegas Scavenger Hunt 2007. Basically the back of the shirt had a checklist:

Get a girl to buy you a shot
Do a body shot
Lick Shoot Suck (tequila body shot)
Make out with a complete stranger
Get a picture with a blonde, brunette, and redhead all together in it.
Get someone to flash you
Take a pic with a bachelorette party
Get a yard margarita.
Get someone to give you the underwear they are wearing.
Get a picture of a stranger spanking you.
Meet 5 foreign women.
Threeway kiss

And some others I can't remember.

Well, outside of Blondie's we saw a bachelorette party....from Mexico...who were very willing to spank us. Check check check.

We went to the tequila bar in Bally's and proceeded to drink quite a bit of tequila. Some 40+ year old women like our shirts and one of them took a shot her husband(!) bought her and put it in her cleavage...and had J take it out with his mouth. She read the back of the shirts and said, "oh, I can flash you." And she did.

Note: we took pictures of everything we checked off.

After a quick pit stop to drop off a drunk buddy at the room, we headed back to Carnival Court. Somehow, the night before our buddy had managed to get chased through the Luxor by security and held in the drunk tank by the police. This was his first shot at sleeping and it was about 7:30pm at this point.

We get to Carnival Court and this GIANT girl wants to be a part of the scavenger hunt. And by giant I mean I am 6'3 and she had a good couple of inches on me. Her friend was trying to get her to give up her underwear

We had met up with a buddy's buddy who was a Vegas local and his drunk girlfriend decided to do everything she could to find women to help with the scavenger hunt. She ran off and said that she had found 2 girls willing to do the 3way kiss. J and I looked over at the girls and decided it was Tim's turn to check something off the list...

Let's just say Tim spent the rest of the time there taking body shots off fifty year old women and doing some threeway kisses and making out with complete strangers. J and I together don't add up to fifty years old...

Finally we stumbled upon two young girls. I chatted with the taller blonde (her friend is about 4'10) and she said she couldn't help me out with the checklist. I told her that was cool...then our buddy's gf decided that she would buy the tequila shot if this blonde girl would do the body shot. The girl said she would only do it if I did the shot off of her...umm, ok! J does one off of her friend and we invite them out to LAX with us. Suprisingly enough, they agree. They follow us back to the Flamingo where we change and the blonde makes us drinks. Turns out she is a bartender. This keeps getting better. We hop into a taxi and head to the Luxor. The blonde has to sit up front with me and it forces me to put my hand on her leg...and surprisingly enough, she puts her hand on mine. This is turning into awesome dot com.

We meet up with everyone in the suite and head down to LAX. The blonde starts whispering to me and winking at me. Suddenly, I don't want to go into the club. We slip the bouncer some cash and eventually he lets our group (with more guys than girls) in. They make the guys pay and walk the girls right in We meet with the girls inside and do some dancing. Somehow the tiny one gets wasted within about 10 minutes. The blonde and I want to leave but we can't leave her. Sigh. We finally get her into a cab and head towards their hotel. We basically planned to leave her in her bed and then go to my hotel Then I get a text from J saying he is heading back to the hotel. We get to the room and her friend promptly passes out. Basically we have a 5 hour makeout session until dawn because she "respects herself too much to have sex with you." I think she was trying to talk herself out of it, but I don't really care either way because I really like this girl.

It turns out the J went back to our room with the same girl from the night before who promptly PASSES OUT AGAIN :Þ He seemed a little bitter the next day.

I wake up and talk about the night before with the girls. Turns out the blonde lives a few hours away and will be in my city next month

I went back to the hotel and we check out. We head to the Luxor and find out that if we stay in the suite that night we can get 2 free bottles at Body English. They wanted us to stay and said we would only have to pay $50 each and there would be 3 total bottles for 6 people. J lamed out and said he wanted to drive back home I would have stayed but there was no room in the cars that were left. We gave the birthday girls a magnum of champagne we had brought as a present and we left. J managed to trip over the carpet in the hallway as we walked out.

Things I learned:
Making shirts for $20 will make your money back in shots in about 1 hour.
Older women like crazy younger guys.
The Flamingo has a great location...some awesome workers and some totally awful workers...we had to put up with shit from the workers about 10 times. They didn't even offer us anything for ruining his $200 shirt.
Girls who say they can't help you with anything on the checklist will end up knocking about three things off.
If you dislocate your shoulder in the club, the bouncer will help you put it back in.
The door guy at LAX is a prick.
Enough Monster drinks will let you survive easily on 2 hours of sleep over a couple of days.
Tequila makes her clothes fall off
The most annoying thing in Vegas: Drunk guys leaning on you in line at the clubs.
The rooftop level of Pure is really nice with the cool air and the lights.
Vegas goes by too fast

 

What a great TR!!!

You have definitely made me even more excited for my girls weekend

Love the t-shirt idea...and I agree, older ladies are much more crazy. Sin? :evillaugh

Umm...yeah....did you know it's a requirement...I need to verify how truthful this TR is :evillaugh

 

very nice TR man. sounds like a great trip. Rock on.

 

Sounds like you and your buddies had a blast. The Magic of T-Shirts hehehe

 

Totally forgot;

My friend the waitress at Cheesecake Factory: "Want to hear something funny? One of the gay guys that works here just told me that there was a totally hot guy who he could not stop looking at sitting at table four, seat three."

Guess who was sitting there at table four, seat three?

 

that's funny dude. you should've hit him up for a free drink.

 

That was one classic trip report. Man that Tshirt thing sounds like me about 15 years ago - course I hadn't been to Vegas yet - however this is probably a good thing! Sounds like a GREAT time. Thanks for writing up your report.

 

Bizzy, glad you took the time to write up the TR...thanks for the laughs and great read.

No comment on the body shots off fifty-year-old women...:evillaugh

 

Sin, you holding out on us?

They hadn't just come out of a limo, had they?