Overdue Report: Labour Day 2006

Now that I've booked my next trip, I remember that I had a half written trip report from last September. I'd had actually started writing the last day with input from my husband because I wanted a reminder to never, ever get that wailed again. And always eat something before drinking!

For the rest I tried to dig into the other recesses of my mind to pull this baby out!

<b>Friday Night</b>

This trip involved the most important people in my life - my hubby, my Daddy, and my best friend and constant Vegas companion, Sunny. The boys and I flew in late Friday on a completely uneventful Air Beaver and was hoping to hook up with Sunny at the baggage terminal. The place was hopping and I was afraid that even with our cell phones, I'd miss the girl. What the hell was I thinking? Sunny, per usual, looked like an extra from "The Jeffersons" so we found each other in no time. I surprised Daddy with a ride from Presidential Limo, which he loved, but he loved it even more when we stopped off at the local Vons so he could grab Wisers, brandy and mini booze bottles to stuff his pockets with. And I'm proud to say I'm a Daddy's girl!

This time, we checked out the Bellagio. I figured Pa would prefer being central Strip and the fountain show and he was very impressed. While we checked ourselves in (and noticed Lisa Ling walking by) Daddy did a bit of a wander and came back shortly afterwards to proudly report that not one but TWO hookers propositioned him. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they aren't that picky and that he really shouldn't be that proud. When asked he told the hookers "I'm a poor fireman!" Sunny retorted "Dude, you should have just said Fireman and you probably would have gotten a freebie!"

Our room was lovely - no complaints, except for the stupid glued-on Greecian bowl by the tub in the bathroom. I thought we were in CP. Frankly, I was concerned that I would mistake it for a glass or pitcher to drink out of when inebriated, but luckily it stayed in it's place.

We all cracked open our booze and go into the spirit of the place. It was nearing midnight, and I knew I would have to strike quickly to keep the Pa up and running, so we headed down to the Fontana Lounge. Daddy is a generous guy, but I put a stop to it pretty quickly with our first round. He offered to cover it, so of course Sheryl and I go for the fancy martinis and John gets a shot of something pretty pricey. Daddy gives the waitress a $50 and she leaves. My gut told me that the $50 would barely cover the round, or a tip so I asked the waitress to provide the bill. Mom had lectured Daddy before the trip telling him that the days of $1 buffets and $2 rum and cokes were a thing of the past - the new Vegas is gonna blow his mind and a hole in his wallet. Sure enough the bill was closer to $60 and I offered to cover the rest but Daddy insisted, albeit with some grumbling. And after that he retired leaving us to our own trouble.....

Which was spending the rest of the whole evening in the Peppermill Lounge and perusing their shooter menu. When we got back to the hotel it was dawn and Daddy was up ready to hit the slots. It hurt.

<b>Saturday</b>

Since hubby was bunking with Daddy, he didn't get much sleep. We made plans much later in the afternoon to hit the pool, which was bathwater. Ugh. Daddy wanted to stay and look at all the hotties, but Sunny and I wanted food before our trip to the spa. So we headed upstairs and ordered some spectacular, hangover-healing room service. Afterwards, the boys occupied themselves at various other casinos while we indulged in a Bellagio facial. And while it was decent, it disappointed me both in cost and value. Plus the spa is so large that it's like a cattle farm with all the people going to their appointments - far from relaxing!

We had early reservations for Prime, as the Pa likes two food groups - meat and potatoes. We enjoyed a rushed, but delicious meal with attentive service. I liked Prime a great deal, but it didn't beat N9NE at the Palms, which I found very surprising.

Since we were so rushed we had to run off to the cab line so we could head over to the Mirage to watch "Love". Unfortunately, the cab line was as long as the list of Anna Nicole's babby daddys, so we were screwed. I talked to the valet and he secured us a limo for the trip. The cost was $60, but with all of us pitching in it wasn't too dear.

What can I say about "Love". Whimsical, joyous and outstanding. And there was extra Love - in the form of irritating TV star Jennifer Love Hewitt. Or as my hubby dubbed her "Jennifer Love Huge Tits"! She looked tiny but boy, those bazookas could take out a convoy, or two.

Daddy wanted to see the old Vegas he knew, so we went off downtown in search of more fun. By that point, all of us had been boozing since mid day and it was starting to catch up with us, particularly the male component of our group. Daddy played some blackjack, but was falling asleep at the table. We ushered him in a cab and said goodnight. We did some low-limit gambling, a bit of blackjack, roulette and slots and made a whole $5!

We walked down to one of our fave bars, the Beauty Bar. Last time we were in town we had a fabulous time dancing with the locals amongst the hair dryers. We were hoping for a lather, rinse and repeat, but instead they had a band on and we just weren't feeling the live music vibe.

So off we went back to the Big B, and we hung out in "Hooker Haven" aka The Baccarat Bar. The martinis were divine, the company fine, and we tried to figure out how much it cost for a "cash injection" between Asian businessmen and the ladies of the night. We knew we had to head upstairs when we had more than enough courage to ask for the finer details of their transactions.

<b>Sunday</b>

First bit of business was to visit the North Strip and hopefully introduce my Dad to the Wynn Buffet. We should have gotten up earlier to avoid the lines, but that wasn't happening for any of us. So we continued down the hall to the Wynn Country Club - and we're so glad that we did! It was actually the best meal of the whole trip. I can't remember what I had, but I know my Dad enjoyed steak of some kind and they had the most amazing frites. It wasn't very busy (surprisingly), so it was nice to have a little corner of Vegas that didn't have the ka-ching of slot machines. If you're looking for a tranquil setting for a fantastic meal, this is the place.

Afterwards, we wandered in-and-out of TI, Mirage and the boys ended up gambling at the Venetian while the gals shopped at Sephora. "What the hell is lip glaze and why does it cost $25?" says the hubby. Don't ask!

A nap was in order after our trek and to gear up for the evening, which would be spent on the South Strip. First order of business was the Mix at MB - but I had failed to notice that Daddy was in shorts, so no go. Instead, it was vodka and rum flights at Red Square and Rumjungle. The guy next to our table at RS was drinking this which we all gazed lovingly at.



As much as we were tempted (I think the thing was $40), we splurged on caviar instead. Well, hubby and Sunny devoured the plate in 1 minute flat, so even if I liked the stuff I never had a chance!

The Following was relayed to me….

By this point, my companions noticed that I started slurring my words and hobbling on my heels. A cab was taken to NYNY, so Daddy could gamble. The first casualty of the night was Pops, so the more sober of the three of us hitched him a cab to Bellagio. According to reports, Pa was being the life of the party, making friends, chatting up women and getting us ladies to pose with him as our "Suga Daddy". At some point he turned to my hubby and said "I'm too old for this shit!" and thus was sent to bed.

Sunny and my guy wanted to eat some sushi at the chi-chi restaurant at the MGM Grand. Unfortunately, my coordination as a thing of the past so it took my loved ones a good part of an hour to get to the restaurant, only to find that it was closed. So we all ended up in the Asian casual restaurant where they satisfied their fix. During the course of the evening, Sunny's irritating ex-boyfriend called, words were exchanged and she was in tears. Hubby said my only lucid moment at that point was when I turned to her and shouted "There's no crying in Vegas!!!!!" and took the phone off of her and gave her ex the smack-down of his life. The couple at the table next to us felt sorry for Sunny, so they gave us some sake. Which probably wasn't the best idea as that tipped us ladies into the depths of drunken delusion.

According to the hubby we ended up in one of the lounges. I wasn’t a fan of the place and downed my drink in one gulp. I insisted that we leave, when the hubby had a full drink and wanted to chill. Cue married couples therapy – exacerbated by my alcohol-filled brain. From his accounts, a slew of expletives followed while Sunny had almost fallen asleep in her chair. He thought it best to take us back to the hotel, even though I still continued my verbal lashings. The poor guy – it look another hour for him to find the cab lines, which wasn’t helped by Sunny and I walking into objects in our way and most slot machines. But once back at the Bellagio, hubby had served his duty and told us we were on our own and that he had enough of my crap. Can’t say I blame him. On our way to yet another lounge, we ran into my Dad. All weekend he’d been trying to get a hold of an old friend who lived in Vegas, and he finally did as she was with him. I hadn’t seen her since I was a five-year-old, and quite frankly I’m appalled by the fact that I probably couldn’t string together two words. But Dad said she was very sweet to both Sunny and I and we sat together for a while. Pa tried to convince us not to order more booze, but we were in no mood to hear any objections.

We were up early the next day for our flights and I thought I was going to die. This was definitely in my top 3 hangovers ever. I couldn’t even muster enough energy to give Sunny a proper goodbye – I couldn’t open my mouth for fear of vomiting everywhere.

Added to my “out of body” experience was my Dad telling us in the cab that Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray – until I read it in the papers myself, I thought Daddy was pulling the leg of his drunk daughter.

I was hoping for a flight where I could just pass out for the time back to Toronto. As if! Upon takeover, a bird had supposedly flown into the engine. It made such a loud and significant bang, with the plane literally being thrown into some turbulence. The pilot said everything was fine, but the boys were white-knuckled the whole way home. Me – I thought if this was my last day on earth, I had a spectacular last few days preparing for heaven (or hell!)

 

Thanks for the follow up report. I really enjoyed the read.

 

Sorry were you talking about the drink or the girl? and $40?!? what a bargain!

 

"Air Beaver"??? That almost blew my coffee all over the computer.

Thanks for the TR - you dad sounds like a hoot!

 

Great report... and better late than never. It sounds like it was a drunkin' good time!

Of the few times I've been there, I never realized the Peppermill had a shooter menu... Do you recall what some of them were? It may be worth checking out when I am there in June.

Do you recall what that $40 drink was at Red Square? That has to be some Martini for $40!

 

Great report. You are a very good writer. I was feeling bad that I didn't post my report from my January trip. I guess I still can!!

 

Nice write-up! Except for the hangover part... been there, done that!

Red Square sells a select few of their specialty martinis in mongo-size. One of them is the Chernobyl. Looks to me like that kind of an atomic melt-down might have been the one.

 

Thanks all!

Hey there <b>Lee!</b> No offense, but you couldn't afford Sher!
Actually, I'm not sure if the martini is actually $40 or more.....it could be, I don't remember!

And <b>rje</b> there is a small shooter section on the cocktail menu. They were good but please stay away from the "Jellybean" one - I think they put creme de menthe in it, and boy was it nasty! I may be wrong on that one too...just ask which one has the mint in it, and avoid it like the plague!

 

Seriously SweetP "Air Beaver" I gotta fly with you. It sounds like you had a blast except for the leaving seriously hung over and the bird flying into the engine.

 

Thats why it was such a bargain!

But if having a drink like that gets that type of attention I may have to buy one!

 

You have a style of writing I can't get enough of. The bit about Love and Jennifer Love--priceless.