Trip #13, Banana, Meet Pants; Pants, Meet Monkey

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I am a super-low-roller and grinding coupon junkie. If you like, mentally add a few zeroes to my gambling amounts, you'll feel better.

Trip #13, Dec 13-20, 2005.

"I haven't seen a beating like that since someone put a banana in my pants and let a monkey loose!!"

Yup, that's pretty much how the gambling went this trip. Definitely my worst trip ever, gambling-wise. Since it was so long ago, I'm going to do this trip report categorically, instead of minute-by-minute.

AIRFARE: Non-stop outbound, stopped at Chicago Midway inbound. Total cost, $221, on credit card. Uneventful both ways.

HOTEL: First night at Orleans for $19. I received room 1002, which had a king-sized bed and wonderful view of the Strip. I'm now in love with the Orleans. Nice amenities in the bathroom, too.

Two nights at Casino Royale, from a friend's mailer (thanks again, dice, would love to hear from ya sometime!!). Received a second-floor room with fridge and coffee maker, two beds. Standard Super-8 style accomodations, with comfortable beds. Certainly good enough for me, and for those looking for a clean, functional room.

Two weekend nights at Sunset Station, from a friend who is hosted there. A very nice room, king-sized bed, no view. Definitely a nice place for people with a car.

Lastly, two nights back at Orleans, on the December mailer. I had only the small coupon, and I was concerned, but it was taken without question. Requested and received room 1002. It was like coming home again.

Total hotel bill, $19, on credit card.

SPA: Used Orleans spa free with funbook coupon two days out of three. Not as nice as Elemis at Aladdin, but still a great way to wake up in the morning, with a jacuzzi soak and a steam. Bottles of water and fruit complimentary.

ENTERTAINMENT: No shows, lots of Bellagio Fountains, and attended the mega-meet at Paris on the 13th. I was so glad I did too, because I met a number of wonderful people. About 30 people there, and they all were cordial and fun. Michelle, you can sit on my lap anytime. Tony, we'll have a beer sometime. Davey, I wanna party with you, cowboy!! Paula, I wish you were there -- that's why I went in the first place!! Fun was had by all.

Oh, also under entertainment -- I saw a drunken, beligerent redneck in a wife-beater cuffed and dragged out of the Orleans by four security people late one night, screaming about them stealing his money. Just say no to excessive alcohol, buddy. If you can't handle it, don't drink it. Fun to watch, until a group of four of his friends came in. Uh-oh. Fortunately, they were talked out of starting a riot.

FOOD: Had one very nice comped dinner at Capri at Sunset, and one very bad meal at Fatburger. I guess that makes me an In N Out'er for life!! Had Orleans buffet a few times, and enjoyed many free Barbary Coast hotdogs and beers for lunch. Ate at Terrible's Cafe many times comped with points. Had Gold Coast buffet once as well. Also had GVR buffet once, very good, also comped. I guess I don't eat too much when I'm out there!! Drinking was down this trip. I only caught a serious buzz a couple times.

Total food bill, $26, on credit card.

TRANSPORTATION: Mostly the bus for getting around town. Deuce bus is a joke during busy times. Took over an hour to get from Paris to downtown. The problem, as I see it, is at every stop, there were delays while people walked up to the second level only to come back down. This could be solved by installing a device that monitors seats upstairs. Adding to the delay was the fact that one Deuce bus will not pass another, it seems. So, a delay is the bus ahead of you results in a delay for you. Very aggravating.

Hopped a ride with people I was chatting with in the airport who were also going to Orleans. Orleans shuttle to BC, walked easily to Casino Royale. My hosted friend drove me from Casino Royale to Sunset. Friend also dropped me at Orleans after Sunset stay. Bell Trans back to airport at 4am from Orleans. I guess they do run 24/7.

GAMBLING: As I said, the gambling was terrible.

Video poker:

Hit the FPDW for dimes at the Tuscany on Wednesday, did receive 5x points. Played about three hours, estimated 1200 hands. $600 coin-in. Hit FOUR DEUCES, first time ever!! WOOOHOOOO!! An inebriated lady tried to cash out my ticket when I stood up to check a sports score. It scared the crap outta me. Thankfully, I caught her. Yelled at her and her husband and felt better . Called security, and they said they didn't see anything. Cashed out and left shortly thereafter. Ahead $35.

Played several hours of JoB at Terrible's on Thursday to accrue 5x points. Played about $800 coin-in between nickels and dimes -- I'd estimate 2500 hands. Lost $28.

Played lots of short-pay nickel crap at Sunset over the weekend. About $850 coin-in on VP, all nickels -- estimated 3400 hands between the two days. Only caught THREE quads the entire time, though they did pay $20 each (I believe this was Bdlx). Major quad drought, no higher hands, lost $73.

Played STP 5-play JoB for pennies and 10-play Bdlx for pennies at Terrible's on Sunday, more 5x points. Estimated 500 hands of STP, 500 plays on 10-play (5000 hands). Coin-in was about $400. No high hands, though, and still a drought on quads. Lost $30.

Totals: 12,600 hands, between pennies, nickels, dimes. Coin-in about $2650. Lost $96, for a return of 96.4%. Not suprising, considering how few quads I got and the short-pay garbage I was playing at SS.

Slots:

Played Monty Python, SPAM, Star Wars, Fort Knox, Cleopatra, Mr. Lucky Fortune Cookie, and many others, between Sunset, Terrible's, and Silverton. Only small wins were on Monty Python and Cleopatra. Lost $73.

Sports Betting:

I made 24 sports bets, between Bellagio, BC and Terrible's. I went 12-12 and lost $17 on the vig. Bellagio sportsbook is still the World's Greatest Living Room, even if I had to sit next to a Buckeye one day.

Matchplays/Freeplay: Used 2 x $10 freeplay at Aladdin and $10 freeplay at GN. Won $13. Played 7 $5 MPs. Was 0-for-3 at Terrible's, 1-for-1 at Ellis and Plaza, and 1-for-2 at Vegas Club. Won $10.

Total Gambling Loss: $163. Worst trip ever, by a longshot.

COMPS and COUPONS:

2 free nights at Orleans worth $38, Comped food at Terrible's worth about $70 and 2/1 and free food deals saved about $70, factored into food totals. Gambling coupons netted $23, noted above. Thus, coupons and food comps got me about $200 in value. Also, I received a couple t-shirts and a hat from Terrible's for sports bets.

TRIP TOTALS:

Credit Card: Air $221, Hotel $19, Food $26. Cash Outlay: Gambling -$163, Tips -$95, Transport. -$23. Total trip cost: $547 for 7 nights.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Sunset Station was a nice hotel, but a pain without a car. I loved meeting so many great people at the meet. It was way cool getting four deuces, but now, I'm definitely close to one full royal cycle without getting one. Penny slots are fun, but they are wicked tight. If I'd have had a normal quad distribution on BDlx, I'd have been close to even overall for gambling. Even with the losses, I had a blast!!

Thanks for reading,

Dave

 

Wow...talk about getting a lot of bang for the buck. My airfare is going to be more than your whole trip cost.

 

WOW.........thats all I can say.

 

Nice report. Thanks for sharing.