Another One Bites The Dust:Macker's Bachelor Trip starring Usual Suspects

Welcome VMB faithful to a time of new beginnings, and unwanted endings.

As our good friend Macker unwittingly dings the death knell for his Vegas future, the rest of us celebrate the fact he will join us in that "suffering" our society so fraudulantly calls "marriage". But in all seriousness, we all respect the esteem in which Macker holds his beloved family:



This trip marks the time in his life when Hookers & Blow will be replaced with Soccer Mom Handy's and Mini-Van Cheetoh Dust.

So anyway, all reservations for the future aside, we take this time to celebrate with a long list of friends. I'm sure Macker can list his own dozen or so Canadian mounty co-consipirators and alcoholic enablers.....I will list the known VMB quantities:



Gaggles---simply stated, The Worst Influence on Macker's life ever. Macker's parents surely rue the day they first set eyes on a drunken gaggles raiding the deer bacon from their freezer after a long night drinking. Macker may have only been 12 at the time, but as Gaggles paper boy, the rights to the refrigerator were surely included in his subscription. Always the non-corformist Gaggles doesn't care so much about fitting in:



BeeeJay---Even worse than Gaggles. Thankfully 1,500-2,500 miles separates Macker from the influence of the sphere of evil and debauchery. focused on gambling, alcohol, shenanigans and boorish behavior, an SVU detectives worst nightmare, dozens of wives have been quoted: "I would sooner send my husband to Kate Upton's hot tub than allow him a trip to Vegas with BeeeJay". BeeeJay doesn't care about maintaining decorum of following rules, in vegas it is all about one thing:



Alexanbo---Macker's Arch nemesis. Since the early days of the Canadian Revolution, these two families have been in competition over the best street corners and cab fare reimbursements. There is no love lost as Alexanbo continues to reap the Aces-Kicker benefits and draw in the hordes of foodie whores who seek his approval before allowing him to dip his chocolate covered twinkie in their whipped cream. Alexanbo has spent tireless hours researching all Vegas Finest entertainment in preparation for Macker's special weekend:



Borat---Far and above the biggest drinker and degenerate cereal philanderer in a group whose livers will surely be studied by future generations of scientists. Often known to throw caution to the wind, and Hard 8's like Chucky Foreskin is going out of style, Borat will still be pounding bourbon long after our friend Mr. Stabby has worshipped the porcelein goddesses of the mid-strip shithole CET's properties. Borat likes to live his life by the following famous greek philosopher's motto:



and finally the guest of honor:

Tall, Blonde, and Svelte, like the Thor of the North, weighing in at a 100% muscle 200-something lbs at a towering height of 6' whatever, Macker has no qualms about drinking twice his weight in vodka while consuming enough calories to give King Kong Bundy permanent indigestion.

Macker has been working out to get into pool shape and is looking great:



whoops, wrong picture, i forgot he's been on this special diet:



and making sure he's using the right products to look good at the pool:



I think we can all agree, the end product is indeed "Ready for Action"!!



whoops, I mean ARMED and READY!!!



So with no further adieu, let me cut the ribbon and officially begin the smack-talk known as the pre-trip report. Macker will soon stop by to give a general itinerary, and then we will all fill in with our more specific plans.

Please join us on this endeavor to save mankind and continue the human race!

 

hey good news!

BJ wanted me to tell you that he's got 2 extra tickets to the fight.

he wants you guys to have a thong bikini contest and he'll judge and give the tickets to the winner!

 

I am sure you gentlemen (?) will not disappoint. Have a great trip all and good luck all, but most to Macker.

Congrats Macker!

 

Full-on savagery ensues....

Best of luck gentlemen (and I'm using that word VERY loosely)!

 

I will add more later but I didn't see dates? May 28-31 is when our crew is there believe beejay is there til 1st

 

Yes I'm arriving 6pm on Thursday, May 28th and flying out 2pm on Monday, June 1st. I believe Alexanbo shares those dates, and Borat arrives Friday 7am, leaving same time. Hopefully Hielo can fit in a Saturday arrival.

Borat and I are slated for the Palace Tower at Caesars, Alexanbo at NOBU.

 

Hoooo Boy am I looking forward to this one!! I'm going to miss your motley crew by 2 weeks. I'm still deciding if that's a good thing or bad thing.

 

I'm sure our paths will cross... I'll keep my eyes open for you guys! have great trip!

 

Will be sticking to quarter video poker, no carny bets!

 

Have a great trip guys, looking fwd to this.

 

I'm assuming you have an attorney on retainer for this event?

 

OMG....can't even imagine keeping up with this crew but it will be entertaining to ride along with the updates!!

 

I guess the crew is a little worried I'll blow my entire bankroll in the 2 1/2 hours before they arrive on Thursday night.

Just let me put those fears to rest as I have numerous internal controls in place to insure a smooth beginning to the trip. Upon arrival I will check into the room at Caesars and immediately decompress into Vegas mode, away from the temptations of gambling, by cashing in this bad boy, I know a lot of VMBer's enjoy their Jordan Cabernet, I'll be enjoying a little "Jordan" of my own, in the form of a bankroll bump:



Once I've cashed that and made a couple NFL futures bets and possibly a $100 on the sure US Open winner, I plan to obtain my $100 in Freeplay from Caesars, but I'll hold onto that for later, as I'm slated to meet Alexanbo at Book-N-Stage @ Cosmo to kick off the trip. Alexanbo will NOT allow me to play over $1 stakes! No roulette. Ideally just a few drinks and a quick $400 quad on boner deluxe and then off to maybe the Margaritaville craps tables to await the rest of the crews arrival.

The first night won't be an all-nighter, as Borat is arriving bright and early, with the milk man,in much the same manner as Alexanbo and Macker's real father's delivered the inseminating sperm to their biological mothers.....so I'll need to be on my game and ready to drink at the Caesars pool by 8am.

Of course Borat and I will NOT GET TOO DRUNK and miss Macker's Friday bachelor dinner.....the plan being to enjoy the pool til early afternoon and then take a respite back in the room to prepare for "a night we will never forget"....

 

BJ, Did you get a new tattoo?




Looking forward to following this epic journey!

 

This TR could break VMBs servers. I'm hoping for some big wins, great times, and at least one stabbing

 

love it!!! looks painful though!

 

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