Observations and commentary from Downtown and Locals 8/27-8/31

Foreword: Apologies to my brother who has had to hear my bad puns about this trip via text message as it happened.

Days 1 & 2:
Once arriving Saturday night, the plan was to no play the El Cortez where I was staying and hit the Boulder Highway since I didn't care to maintain any kind of regular offers from any of the resort/casinas there. Well, as about 90% of my plans go, I called an audible once the intoxicating aroma of lavender, vanilla, $1/pack cigarette smoke, and the homeless the El Co hit my nostrils.

I quickly threw my crap into the Super Cabana Suite, christened the dual buttoned toilet, and headed back across the street to join the mixed bag of humanity that is the El Cortez clientele.

I couldn't avoid the plethora of vintage IGT slots that dot the El Co landscape. My best hit of the night (and unfortunately for the trip) was this one on Benny Big Game for $441.



I love the El Cortez in all of it's glory: the great gambling, the more-than-fair comps, the most diverse socioeconomic group this side of the State Fair, and of course, that smell, ooh ooh that smell.

This was my third visit, but first time to stay, and I was impressed with the Super Cabana Suite, notably the dual air conditioners and nouveau cool sinks.



I also had three good comped meals at 1941. For dinner, the Jackie Burger & chips was good. For supper, the New York Strip was above average.

For breakfast, the sausage, egg, & cheese croissant was good, but the sideshow was extremely entertaining.

Two tables over from me, a (likely) homeless woman was nagging her (obviously) homeless husband and he was telling her to shut her pie hole like all old vagabond couples do. She was berating him about how he was using his eatin' tools. I heard a crash after the banter started getting louder and looked to see the poor old hobo's half eaten breakfast in the floor along with the broken plate. "I told you!" hollered Agatha, while all Delbert could mumble (a little less boisterously now) was "shut up woman." To the credit of the staff, they treated them like they were Kenny Epstein's ma & pa. They offered to cook him another plate and told him not to touch it so he wouldn't get cut, presumably because they didn't want to have to reference the bloodborne pathogens training manual. Also to everyone's credit, no one shot me any dirty looks as I was chuckling the whole entire time.

Sunday was Boulder Highway and Henderson day.

Joker's Wild was one of the friendliest casinas I've ever been too. They have some good deals for 1st time visitors, like 100 extra credits for your first 4 of a kind. They also make a damn good jumbo weiner on a bun. Throw some mustard on that bad boy and wash it down with a super duper giant gulp sized Coke for only $3. My brother told me I had to vist here, and I was glad he did.

The Emerald Island in Henderson lives up to the hype you hear every 3 minutes and 17 seconds over the intercom, it really is the jewel of downtown Henderson. They have decent video poker and the old school slots are a lot of fun. I lost my hind end here, but it was still a lot of fun. Where strip casinos use cheap building materials to erect fancy looking facades, Emerald Island uses paint on cinder blocks. It's just as tacky, but you have to appreciate the artistic value.

Speaking of facades, it appears that the Skyline is either undergoing a multibillion dollar expansion or creating a frontage the likes of which can only be compared to a main street set for a Hollywood western. I didn't stop this trip because I really wasn't looking forward to smelling like the El Co minus the lavender and vanilla.



My grandpa always said you can't polish a turd, but you can build a facade in front of it.

 

The Skyline has the best progressive I've ever played in Vegas...$1 9/6 JoB and when I played the royal was over $6,500! (I didn't hit it...though I did come out ahead.) And every so often you can take a break for their shrimp cocktail (LVA top 10 deal).

 

Nice writing and detail so far! I am tempted to visit El Co this week...but not convinced it's gonna happen.

 

Funny stuff. How we're all the "street" characters. Haven't been downtown for about 2 years. Will probably be trekking down there one night in January.

 

Days 3, & 4

I had planned to seed the 4 Queens for some future free play this trip, but I likely fell short with only about $1k coin in. I really want to like the 4 Queens, I really do, but I just can't spend more than an hour or so in there without wanting to leave. The 4 Queens is like that almost perfect girl that you love so much about, but you like her best in small doses because she annoys the crap out of you after a little too much time together. I went back to the "secret" bathroom to get away from the casino scent and the the noise, but it was closed for cleaning, so I had to settle for the not so secret bathroom by the players' club. The scent wasn't any better, and neither was the noise (my fault on both accounts,) but there was a very interesting photo opportunity while I was sittin' and thinkin'.



I have no idea why the razor blade was there, but I'm glad I built a nest before I sat. This is why I love downtown!


As I bid adieu to the El Cortez Cabana Suite, I almost forgot about cashing my whopping $55 winning NASCAR bet. $5 on Kyle Larson to win threw some play money bankroll my way that I'd quickly lose at The D. But I can't move on from the El Co without mentioning a surprisingly great late night eatery....the Subway in the corner. I'm not usually a Subway fan, but the cat running the joint late nights is truly a sandwich artiste. He made me a $6 footlong steak, egg, and cheese on flatbread w/ creamy sriracha sauce the likes of which I'll never get to devour again until my next Vegas trip. I look forward to it.

There's not a lot of humorous commentary from The D, but I enjoyed the afternoon I spent there. The D's generous comps afforded me a little red and green chip blackjack play that resulted into a net $50 profit. At the upstairs bar, I proudly busted the $135-ish straight flush progressive on the quarter 8/5 Bonus Poker machines after about 50 or so hands. I'd have rather drawn a royal, but hey, I'll take a straight flush any day, especially when it pays over 500 coins. The "vintage Vegas" machines upstairs are not as fun as the true vintage coin droppers that were replaced by some of the Riv's inventory, but they're still fun. I also used my entire $40 food comp at Detroit Coney Island. I ate everything they had but a Milky Way, and I have "No Regerts."

On to my all time favorite casina/hotel, Main Street Station. I love the woodwork everywhere as well as the antiques and Pullman Cars and big-ass doors from middle eastern banks and everything else. It's just such a cool place. Where else can you pee on the Berlin Wall? Or at least pee on plexiglass in front of the Berlin Wall, with my apologies to the janitorial crew....freedom made me do it. For the first time, I also went upstairs to view the furniture up there. The busts between that elevator and casino frontage were a cool surprise...I wish I'd taken pictures. I did get a shot of ol' Winny Churchill's giant pool table, though.


Man, I bet this table held a lot of ol' Winny's laundry in it's time.


I spent several hours over 2 nights playing 9/6 JOB at the Boar's Head. Love that place and got a nice passel of scratchers to boot, including the elusive $3. one.

Monday night at the Redwood inside the Pullman room was the best setting for a meal, ever. I really wish they'd make that room into a full time restuarant. The $24 Porterhouse special was excellent. I highly recommend it.

 

Thanks!
It's a fun place. The little extra perks like instant free play while you're playing, the free ice cream bars, and the $10 gift cards for $200+ wins are great reminders of how Vegas used to be. The Ritz-Carlton it ain't, but it is a blast. Good luck if you make it there, or wherever you gamble for that matter!

 

Perhaps we should just be glad you didn't pronounced snooker as 'snucker'....

 

We will have some Vegas newbies to tour round at the end of the month, we will have to be sure to hit up some of these places!

 

I bet that toilet camera dumped a-hole lot of research data on the 4Q. I bet the quality is crappy though.

 

I love Main Street Station ~ we've also been upstairs to see that ginormous table. Haven't been to the Redwood Grill yet - from the looks of that Porterhouse we'll have to give it a try! Great trip report so far!

 

Elco is my all time favorite casino. We loved seeing Jackie-one time owner of many downtown casinos-come down for breakfast, and then play poker with all the locals.

 

Ha ha, I laughed at your comment about the plexiglass around the berlin wall at MSS. When they first opened the bathroom the wall was uncovered and you could touch it. It was coated with some kind of clear coat finish. I guess too many guys couldn't aim straight so they had to protect the wall with plexiglass that will probably look like crap in a few years from the excess pee.

The Pullman grille inside MSS seems to be popular with Redwood in there temporary. Hopefully they will reopen the grille again. Hmmm, I wonder if they had moved that greater moments room at the vegas club to the Pullman grille if I would have done better. I liked that greater moments room and I like the look at the Pullman so hope the grille will reopen again after redwood moves back.

 

If it ever makes it back across the pond, y'all can call it whatever you'd like.

 

Judging by the blackish parts of the Minnie Mouse costume that are supposed to be white, I'm gonna guess whatever money they "earn" doesn't get invested back into dry cleaning.

God bless the poor single mom with stage 3 cancer that needs money to get back to Maine, but if she hasn't made it in the last two years since I've seen her on Fremont, she might ought to consider a different way to raise the funds...just sayin'.

About 80% of the ladies in pseudo-showgirl costumes deserved to wear them. I suppose the other 20% deserved to absorb the costumes. Using electrical tape as pasties is also a practical move. If I ever bought a lighted t shirt from the kiosk, I'd give one of those girls a dollar to use her tape to insulate any exposed wires.

The Veteran playing the accordian was great, though. This is the first time I've seen him, but he played that thing great, he didn't bother anyone, and it wasn't so loud that it was all you can hear around him. The gentleman deserves a sawbuck here and there not just for his service to our great country, but for his service as an entertainer as well.

 

Whoever was on watch while I was there oughta be glad it wasn't Smell-O-Vision.

 

Day 4.5

I have a love/hate relationship with waking up the last morning of a Vegas trip. On one hand, there's a lotta stuff I planned on doing that I didn't do that I'm gonna try to squeeze into the day. On the other hand, if it's been a losing trip, I just feel like going to the airport to punish myself for hitting the best machine in the house and going over my planned budget.

This one was a little different though, so I just sucked it up, drew another $300 out of my checking account, and headed over to the Golden Gate for a Vegas Stack. I only eat pancakes here,so they're the best I've had...no argument. I had some fun playing the older IGT games there, but VP is miserable at GG.

Next stop was the Car Collection at The Linq. I barely made it to the 5th floor where the collection is housed and found the bathroom right past the very cool vintage bar from Dodge City Kansas (if I remember that right.) While sitting on the cramped porcelain throne, which is the only one on the 5th floor, I thought about how many famous guys had pooped here while donating cars to the collection, or buying one, or bringing one to sell. Since Johnny Carson's dad's 38 Chrysler is in there, I wondered if Carnac the Magnificent had sat on this very stool. I also wondered if Ed was standing outside the stall, spouting unintelligible encouragement as only Mr. McMahon can. In the midst of this ridiculous daydream, I realized this was about my 10th BM in less than 5 days in a town where I subscribe to the conspiracy that they put binding ingredients in the food so you spend less time in the W.C. and more time pulling the one-armed bandits. Anyway, I told my brother that this trip was all about taking a dump....both literally and monetarily. Except for the first night, I couldn't hit anything on slots, and I tried a lot, boy did I try.

Anyhoo, a large part of the Car Collection inventory turns over in 9 months, which was the last time I was here, and was a nice surprise. I wish I'd have taken pictures of the first and second Firebirds ever made. The resto job is second to none on these two cars. The only bad thing I can say about them is that they belong to that annoying Gas Monkey cat in Dallas. The fully restored 442 (1970 I believe) was gorgeous, but the $150k+ price tag was a little ridiculous. Lots of other great cars in there, you should go see it and the best part is it's free with a coupon printed off of "the web."

The last Vegas meal was another gem at the urging of my brother. If you're from anywhere other than L.A. or L.V., you oughta check out Original Tommy's. I went to the one by Sam's Town, and the chili cheeseburger was dammit good. I love the peppers they give you with the meal too. They added a nice kick. There's a Wal-Mart close by too, so I went to borrow their Wifi to pay a bill I forgot about and bought a memory foam neck pillow, which was the best $12 I'd spent since 10 minutes earlier at Original Tommy's. Seriously though, if you're like me and laugh at those sissies with neck pillows on an airplane, join them. It's worth calling yourself a sissie...most comfortable plane ride ever.

I started getting sad when I realized it was time to go to the airport. I lost a bunch, but it was a really fun trip. Actually though, I did play the most funnest slut machine of the trip at the airport, and if the picture looks stupid, it's because it's 3-D!





While huntin' for more winning machines in the McCarran forest like 12 point bucks, waiting to be cut from the herd, I found the beacon of delicious, which some know as Auntie Annie's Pretzel stand. The sorry bastards fine international employees running the joint didn't have any pretzel dogs or jalapeno pretzels, so I had to settle for a plain one...still damn good, though.

Thanks to the Gaughans for one last win to somewhat soften the blow of being a big slot machine loser (what a surprise, right?) before boarding the plane home.



Sadly, WOF has lost favor in a lot of Vegas casinos to make way for stupid machines like Game of Thrones or Big Bang Theory that will be forgotten in a few short years or maybe even months, but not in the airport baby!

Within 30 minutes of landing at Dallas Love Field (at 11:30 PM) I was kissing my truck and headed for the nearest Whataburger. It was a great trip, although a losing one, but it's also great to be home, which I was at finally at 3 AM. And for what it's worth, work kinda sucked the next day after 4.5 days of Vegas. After 10 hours of work shaking off the Vegas hangover, planning for the next trip started as soon as I got home.............

 

I do the exact same thing upon landing after a getaway. Whataburger is my pick me up food.
Sucks it was a loosing trip, and thanks for taking us along.

 

Enjoyed your TR.
Thanks for sharing!