Solo female traveler... question for the men

Hi. I'm a longtime lurker who finally decided to join. I didn't know that this section existed and figured this would be the perfect place to ask this question since it is something that has been on my mind in the last year.

I've been going to Vegas since I was 19. I began my solo trips at 22-23 and stayed at the Bellagio. I then moved on to the Cosmo and the Wynn is my current home away from home. I actually changed casinos when I exit a relationship because I usually get the guy attached to that property and I don't want to run into them during a major event.

I am asking the male posters for any tips in regards to an issue I often face when I'm in Vegas, which is the male patrons thinking that I am a working girl or will offer money for sex even when they know that I am a paying guest. Let me give you an example

I was once sitting at the B bar inside the Wynn at around 2pm on a Mayweather fight weekend and was talking to the female bartender there. There were a group of men there and one of them asked me what I was drinking and it turned into a conversation. It turned out that my parents were raised in the same city that they were raised in. He introduced me to the rest of the group and someone asked me where my friends were. I told them that I was there alone and at that point, the oldest one in the group (74 years old) practically tripped trying to sit down next to me. I didn't think anything of it at the time but that scene replayed in my mind a few hours later. He started talking to me and offered to pick-up my tab. I had some shopping bags with me and was tired. I excused myself, thanked him for the drinks and wished them a great rest of their trip. He then asked me if he could come to my room. I said no. He then told me that his wife was no longer having sex with him and he had needs. I told him that there were plenty of girls there who he could pay. I'll cut this short..it turns out that he thought I was lying about being a guest and thought that I was actually working. He thought that my shopping bags were just change of clothes.

I do not consider myself a prude and see nothing wrong with being a hooker. Like I say, I support the naked hustle. However, it's gotten to the point where I am reconsidering going to Vegas simply because it is hard to find a middle ground. If I "dress up", then men hit on me under the guise that I am a hooker. Once I tell them I am a guest, they assume that I am willing to sleep with them because I am alone in Vegas. I've had men buy me a drink or two and then get visibly upset because I'm not going to sleep with them when they ask. It is actually quite confusing because I feel like they should realize that as a paying guest, I am prepared to pay for my own $18 drinks. It's not like I am a girl staying at the Excalibur with three other girls in the room who went to the higher end hotel bars in hopes of finding a man with means to pay for my food/drinks. Maybe the men on this board can help me understand. The other end of the spectrum is not dressing up..but then I feel out of place and I want to look and feel cute and sexy while in Vegas.

I did meet two men last year who were great. I was at Parasol Up and informed them that I was leaving so that the one standing up could get my seat. They asked me where I was going and asked me to join them for a drink. It turned into multiple drinks in a span of multiple hours across various bars. When the night ended, they gave me a hug and thanked me for a fun night. Never made a mode. That's been a rare experience in my 20+ trips to vegas.

I could go on about this but i'll see what the men on the board have to say. I will say that I turned 30 so I may experience ageism the next time that I am there

 

If you're rather young and dressed, I feel you will never get away from such experiences. However, that's just my thoughts...

 

This is why I'm reconsidering Vegas and thinking about spending my disposable income visiting other cities. I do go to NYC, Miami, etc and never come across this. The upside with Vegas is that I can walk around at any time of the night and know that there is more than enough security around. The downside is that more often than not, I'm not going to meet someone of the opposite sex who just wants to hang out. I'm not against casual sex but it's not something that is going to happen without getting to know someone, which clearly won't happen in the span of a night.

Sorry for the typos in my OP. I was on my tablet.

I do have a funny story. I was playing the Wonka 3-reel slot at 5:30 am and won the golden ticket. A girl walks by as i'm waiting for my W-2. It's clear that she was walking back from the tower suites. We make eye contact for a split second and I turn away. She then walks by me and sees that I've won $5,230. She asks if I want some company or someone to have an early breakfast with. LOL!

Same trip..I met someone on a Wednesday night who invited me out to lunch the next day. We go to lunch and that was pretty much it. A few days later I get a call from his wife because he confessed that he'd "emotionally" cheated on her and had invited a young woman out on a lunch "date"

 

I think you will give off more of the wrong vibe if you are alone at a bar in Vegas. I think it is because everybody on these boards keep pointing people to the bars where I think over 90% of the girls alone there are hookers. I know it is not very fair but if you go to a bar in a vegas casino alone and you look decent, a lot of guys will get the wrong idea.

Just my view of it, I've also never sat at a bartop in vegas for the exact same reason, I didn't want people to think I was there looking for a hooker since I'm well known in the casinos I frequent.

 

Perhaps you should politely decline their offers to buy you a drink....that might give them pause. Anyhow, men hitting on an attractive woman that is alone....is pretty much a fact of life in Vegas, unfortunately...always has been.

 

Perhaps you should ask the women on this site how they handle things, instead of asking guys for advice? To me, you sound like the pretty thin girl who always has to tell everyone how fat and ugly she is, just so she can get those reassuring compliments she craves.

 

It seems to me you are a risk taker: gambling, solo trip to sin city, drink at bar in the wee hour, accept strangers' offers (drinks, lunches etc).
I am not saying anything of those are wrong or inappropriate. Not at all. We all love those things.
I am just saying that if you are already a risk taker, you should have known being proposed or even being harassed by some uncivil males is part of the risk.
And more importantly the risk will always be there or even get worse, or much worse, as long as you keep doing the same thing.
Forgive me if I sound rude. I just want to give your my opinion as you asked.

About being dressed up, I always love seeing girls dressed up and I never associate them with hookers.

 

For a second there I thought you were going to say something else.

But, yeah, just let the guy(s) know that you're not "for hire". Some are not going to take it well, and some will just laugh it off. But, yeah, the best bet is to have someone else with ya. I figure there's always a good chance that there will be someone from the board there. Just put out a post in the get together section.

 

Sorry. Woman here. You can just ignore me if you like

This doesn't really sound like rocket science to me. I have no trouble distinguishing between the hookers and the girls dressed to go to nightclubs, so if you are being mistaken for a hooker, then maybe you need to evaluate not only how you dress, but your behavior. Sitting solo at a bar, and accepting drinks from strangers. Not to mention that letting a group of men know you are in Vegas alone is not really the smartest thing to do.

Not really sure what kind of answers you were expecting.

 

Try this: "I'm not really looking for company. Thanks anyway. I appreciate the compliment."
That's the sort of rejection that doesn't hurt too much & most guys would back-off from - which seems to be what you want.

I will say this - If a guy offers to buy you a drink, you accept, and invite him to join you - then I guarantee, 100% of the time, he will think you're a least a little bit interested in him. If you're not, then do not do that!

If he thinks you're 'working', that will be obvious very quickly as well - just use the same line, just reverse "not really": "I'm really not looking for company. Thanks anyway. I appreciate the compliment."

As for those guys you left the Parasol Up with? I'm glad that they were gentlemen, but make no mistake - they were hoping.

 

Keep in mind that men for the most part are idiots LOL. Add some alcohol to the mix and being out of town in a place like Vegas and you accepting their drinks seems like an open invitation to them.

Who doesn't like free drinks? But keep in mind there's some ulterior motives behind them. Well, there always is but even moreso in vacation places like Vegas.

 

Offer to PAY for their drinks. This never happens, and will signal that you are not looking for money.

 

Or if you don't want this attention, just tell the men you're waiting on your bf. If you do want the attention, then I think you're going to have to expect drunk men on vacation wanting to hook up. The guys who only wanted a hug at the end of the night are the exception, not the rule

 

JUst let me know when you are going to vegas,,I will be there to defend you,,Your knight in shining armour,,Some would say!!! But 100 percent agree with Pay Triple and UK,,,

 

I am a woman who has traveled to Vegas a couple of dozen times over 20 years. Most of those trips have been at least partially solo, e.g., I'm there myself for 3-4 days and then with friends for the rest of the trip. I wouldn't change where or how I vacation because of a few bad experiences.

Though I am 50 (so a bit older than you are!) and haven't had as many experiences as you (you may be better lookin'!) I think there are a number of ways you can deal with the issue, in addition to what is noted above. If you are having a drink solo at the bar (I will be doing the same in 6 weeks when I am listening to Michael Monge at Encore and I don't plan to change my plans to do so), there is a way you can let the bartender know what the deal is. I am not suggesting that bartenders are there to look after you but it would be another person that would know you are there enjoying yourself as a solo person as anyone should be able to do. I have been living in NYC the last few years and sometimes enjoy dining solo in NYC or AC. I think there is a way you can give off a "leave me alone I am enjoying myself" attitude without coming off in a negative way.

I would agree with one of the posters above about not letting a group of folks know off the bat, unless you really got to know them -- men or women -- that I was there solo. But I will say during my last trip I was eating solo at the Caesars buffet and was sitting at a table next to an older couple from Michigan. I knew they were Diamond CET because of their table placard and they knew I was Seven Stars. So we of course had a CET conversation and over the course of an hour+, we wound up talking about a range of LV experiences, shows, etc. It made my dinner that much more enjoyable and, for me, having conversations like that with fellow Vegas lovers always makes a trip that much more special. Eventually they found out I was in Vegas solo but that was okay. On a related note, I got to know DBueler playing side by side with her YEARS ago when we were both traveling solo. During the course of playing nickel triple play VP for a couple of hours and comforting each other after too many 4 to a royal plays, we both realized we were solo and that we members of the LVA board. We each "knew" each other by our LVA screen names. LOL. Fast forward to today and we're planning what I think is our 7th or 8th trip to Vegas, which is 6 weeks from today.

The bottom line is you should vacation in places you enjoy and in the way you like -- life is way too short to do otherwise -- be just be careful and when in doubt/when your gut is telling you something -- like when your gut is telling you to be extra careful walking down a less inhabited street in any city at night -- follow your gut about whether to strike up a conversation, accept that drink, etc.

 

I have to agree with a few other folks here, you must come off as hookerish or desperate or something if this is a consistent thing. I am not trying to say anything mean or bad here at all, but guys have an instinct as well and they are reading into something more than just being a woman at the bar alone! Also, please, no matter how many times you have went solo and no matter how many times its been fine, dont tell a group of guys that you are alone. Tel them you are out for a friends wedding or something like that, they dont need to know the details, because one of these times, things might not end so well for you. It all just depends on time and place, you never know who is out there lurking.

 

This reminds me of the aaisack TR when he took his sister to Vegas. Apparently she got hit on quite a bit, not necessarily as a hooker though.

Perhaps you could throw guys off the trail by wearing a wedding band and feeding them a line mentioning your husband.

 

Except the OP obviously doesn't want them to leave her alone. She wants to meet guys and get free drinks and a good time and then go her own way.

The problem is good guys like that aren't generally hanging out at bars in Vegas. Or really bars anywhere for that matter.

 

I have to agree with this one.

 

I agree with you, which is why I found it odd the OP only seems to "experience" this behavior in Las Vegas. It's indeed sad, but to many guys... in their minds... a pretty girl who doesn't shut ya down immediately wants to be your wild sex partner for the night!

See BSwim's remark, "men for the most part are idiots!" :evillaugh